I need advice

[bepop:$$]

a family member has told me that their father is physically abusive and I have known abt this for a long time but they asked me not to say anything so I never have. Yesterday I got told what he has recently done and it was horrible. I don't know how to help. They told me that they're starting to feel hopeless and are suicidal. Is it even my place to step in

 

[Adûnâi]

Was it rape?

 

[bepop:$$]

Was it rape?

no he hits them

 

[ThisUnrest]

You could find out if there are domestic violence support centers in your area. They often offer free support or counselors. Then you could tell your relative about it. You could offer that you would go with them to the center if they are nervous. Have they told their mother? If you reported it directly to authorities, i would fear that may end up making things worse for your relative with retaliation from their father. I think it's very kind of you to want to help. Let your relative know that you love them and are worried for them.

 

[bepop:$$]

You could find out if there are domestic violence support centers in your area. They often offer free support or counselors. Then you could tell your relative about it. You could offer that you would go with them to the center if they are nervous. Have they told their mother? If you reported it directly to authorities, i would fear that may end up making things worse for your relative with retaliation from their father. I think it's very kind of you to want to help. Let your relative know that you love them and are worried for them.

Their mom knows and is scared of the dad too he has been abusing them for a long time but they get it worst because they're the scape goat if the family. They have showed me pictures of huge bruises, black eye, marks from the belt. I don't even know if my parents would help. They don't like getting into other families business

 

[ThisUnrest]

Im so sorry. That's very sad. Family relationships are so complicated. Your relative and their mother being financially dependant on the father would also complicate things. Thats why it's often incredibly difficult for someone to leave an abusive partner. Are you able to find a domestic violence resource center in your area or in your country? Can you safely talk to your mother about this?

 

[-Link-]

Are you able to find a domestic violence resource center in your area or in your country?

Yes, I would seek out advice from support services in your area who will be familiar with local laws, shelter options, and legal processes. If you're uncomfortable with this, you could maybe speak to them using hypothetical language instead of making direct statements. This is the difference between saying "my family members are being physically abused; what should I do" (a committal statement) and "if someone becomes aware of family members being abused, what should they do" (a hypothetical statement).

Going to a local resource center is sort of a middle-ground option in between maintaining this secret vs. going straight to police.

You are in an extremely difficult position with this. There will be no good answers here. There will only be difficult options. And whatever you do, whatever happens, it's going to be horrible to endure. Remember you are doing the best you can and that the only person in the wrong here is the abuser.

 

[bepop:$$]

Im so sorry. That's very sad. Family relationships are so complicated. Your relative and their mother being financially dependant on the father would also complicate things. Thats why it's often incredibly difficult for someone to leave an abusive partner. Are you able to find a domestic violence resource center in your area or in your country? Can you safely talk to your mother about this?

I am going to tell my parents and ask them if it came down to it would they hel

I am going to tell my parents and ask them if it came down to it would they hel

help**

Yes, I would seek out advice from support services in your area who will be familiar with local laws, shelter options, and legal processes. If you're uncomfortable with this, you could maybe speak to them using hypothetical language instead of making direct statements. This is the difference between saying "my family members are being physically abused; what should I do" (a committal statement) and "if someone becomes aware of family members being abused, what should they do" (a hypothetical statement).

Going to a local resource center is sort of a middle-ground option in between maintaining this secret vs. going straight to police.

You are in an extremely difficult position with this. There will be no good answers here. There will only be difficult options. And whatever you do, whatever happens, it's going to be horrible to endure. Remember you are doing the best you can and that the only person in the wrong here is the abuser.

Im so sorry. That's very sad. Family relationships are so complicated. Your relative and their mother being financially dependant on the father would also complicate things. Thats why it's often incredibly difficult for someone to leave an abusive partner. Are you able to find a domestic violence resource center in your area or in your country? Can you safely talk to your mother about this?

I can't because the mother doesn't know that I know and I know that if I try and talk to her about it the child would get it even worse because they told me

 

[ThisUnrest]

Such a sad situation. You are a good person to want to help. Wishing you the best of luck in trying to get your relatives some help.

 

[-Link-]

I can't because the mother doesn't know that I know and I know that if I try and talk to her about it the child would get it even worse because they told me

Does anyone have to actually know that you're soliciting advice from community resources?

Any domestic abuse services will have already seen it all and heard it all, and they may have answers for your concerns that could make possible what right now may feel impossible.

 

[silentcicada]

How old are they? Make sure they document everything just in case the police have to be involved. Your country might have a program for runaways if worst comes to worse, or a shelter if they are an adult.

 

[F@#$]

a family member has told me that their father is physically abusive and I have known abt this for a long time but they asked me not to say anything so I never have. Yesterday I got told what he has recently done and it was horrible. I don't know how to help. They told me that they're starting to feel hopeless and are suicidal. Is it even my place to step in

People like that deserve no mercy. I can't stand asshole abusive motherfuckers. Pussies is what they are.try that shit with my 250lb ass.

 

[bepop:$$]

How old are they? Make sure they document everything just in case the police have to be involved. Your country might have a program for runaways if worst comes to worse, or a shelter if they are an adult.

They are a teenager and I will look into that they have mentioned that it has gotten to a point they might runaway

People like that deserve no mercy. I can't stand asshole abusive motherfuckers. Pussies is what they are.try that shit with my 250lb ass.

I feel the same way he is a tall big man beating on his daughter disgusting

 

[silentcicada]

They are a teenager and I will look into that they have mentioned that it has gotten to a point they might runaway

I feel the same way he is a tall big man beating on his daughter disgusting

Feel free to PM me if you need more information! My partner was a run away.

 

[bepop:$$]

Feel free to PM me if you need more information! My partner was a run away.

thank you

 

[ThisUnrest]

Thinking about you. Hope all is well. ❤

 

[bepop:$$]

Thinking about you. Hope all is well. ❤

thank you I have recently talked to my parents and they said they are willing to help her as soon as she turns 18 so that's a start !