Human really cruel online harm no joke really harmful. People underestimate put cruel response down vote etc think normal think other person only username. Many people damage even ctb comment special anonymous reddit come attack some people trauma some people hurt feel ctb comment can do that humans cruel sorry suffer. Addition this one person let alone community avoid vommunity best all make rule make minority outside not allow different type people better avoid human really harmful communities worse mob mentalities lower intelligence one person. Really sorry hurt human not safe anywhere
@CTB Dream It was the absolute guilt and personal attacks on my character that made me suicidal and almost drove me to suicide as these feelings were just awful and so tormenting. The woman really complained about how my comments on brown eyes and black hair made her feel so bad about herself, how needs a social media break because of me and she has severe mental health issues already and has had difficult life so I was really worried and felt bad. I never intended to cause hurt. I apologised and took full responsibility.
When talking about issues I am very passionate, outspoken and I do ask very difficult questions naturally I am like that and always been like that. Yes I acknowledge I do go too far at times I don't mean too. I have reputation for being controversial ever since my teens so I am used to criticism.
I can take criticism for my views and value open debate but when to comes to abuse, attacks on my character it is something which does hurt a lot.
The personal criticism made me feel like I was a very bad evil person and even I began questioning myself a lot, my experiences of life that made me have those views and I even doubted myself a lot too. Even the accusations of being called a racist was the worst one. I am black and have opened up about my own experiences of racism one social media and then to be called one was just hurtful. I even had to explain my own experiences of racism and rejection made me hate my body. I began to doubt myself completely. It was mental torture, pure mental torture. .
My argument was society loves blue eyes more than brown eyes, the existence of scientific technology to help couples choose an eye colour for their unborn baby is evidence of societies favourism and absolute love regarding blue eyes this is a point i raised with evidence on my social media thread. It is a fact couples in the United States of America to use Preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) choose their unborn child's sex and eye color and there has even been debate on whether should this practice be regulated in the USA because in European countries the use PGD is restricted and regulated. In the UK where i live couples using sperm or egg donors have requested egg and sperm donors have blue eyes or a particular eye colour the couple desires this is a practice that is happening in the UK and other western countries.
People use these treatments because they do not see brown eyes as an attractive eye colour and that is why the market for these fertility treatments and clincs providing these services is booming and is a industry worth billions. It is unethical such treatments are allowed to exist and I emphasised this a lot.
I admit the choice of language I adopted was very poor and inflammatory but it is a fact society loves blues eyes a lot. I was criticising my OWN eyes because I don't feel attractive having dark brown eyes. I am very open and too open about my anoxeria, body image issues.
The women participating in the online mob and some of them were mothers it was so disturbing because what are they teaching their children? This is why school bullying will never end because too many parents do not raise their children to think critically and not to follow the crowd. Every woman in the online mob who disagreed with me constantly argued how they were so offended and how I am a bad person, "a werido" rather looking at the fact we live in a very shallow society that sees certain features a human being possess more valuable than others. I provided evidence for my arguments.
In the end I stopped feeling guilty because the woman who complained about me actually is a very horrible person. I never met a human being so spiteful in my life.
After she accepted my apology she wanted to message me on discord. We both shared stories of how our teenage years effected as adults. I really thought I found a friend because we have similarities actually we later discovered.
I shared with her how the humiliation and pure disrespect from boys I loved made hate the features I have. The guys I liked including the non white always picked the white girls over me, one of them even worst of all racially abused me. The black boys in my class always made fun of the black girls appearance, I was a regular target of their bullying, misogyny whereas they were nicer to the white girls.
The woman makes public our private discussions on discord to her feminist friends on the feminist social platform. She was mocking me and then goes on about how she is a strong rape survivor and I am a weak individual for being upset over the rejection I experienced from men throughout my life.
I later discovered this woman is a transphobic bigot.She throws transphobic slurs left right and centre and even mocked her old friend for transitioning. She was publicly showing his Facebook account as well. She gets mad at transgender news culture wars social media stuff online and the woman has no life.
In the end I had nothing to feel guilty about anymore because I did everything possible to fix the harm I caused. I apologised, showed genuine remorse and took full responsibility for my actions.
stupid bulling. ruining lives since time immemorial.
@theboy this is what f*cking irritates me people in society express shock whenever someone kills themselves and start preaching about mental health saying " why didn't reach out this is so sad oh my god" or tweet the number of the suicide hotline when a celebrity kills themselves.
What are the f*ck were people expecting to happen?
We live in a toxic world where people like to look down upon others different to them, excluding them socially and always being so mean and showing no kindness to their fellow human being and so judgemental as hell when people do open about their problems.
This is toxic society will unfortunately led to some people ending their own lives. After all why should a person live in a world where nobody wants them around, judges whenever they open up about their problems.
The same hypocritical arseholes who tweet the suicide hotline number whenever a celebrity kills themselves are the same people that participate and perpetuate a system of bullying, excluding other people and failing to show kindness to their fellow human being. These sanctimonious arseholes can't see they are part of the problem.
The women participating in the online mob judging, condemning me, bullying me some of them were mothers it was so disturbing because what are they teaching their children? This is why school bullying will never end because too many parents do not raise their children to think critically and not to follow the crowd. That was the most disturbing of all.
I acknowledge my comments were a very poor choice of words but the women in the online mob judging me, attacking my character, expressing their anger and offence towards me are acting as if they are better than me. The amount of never ending comments lecturing me about how I am a bad person, "all irises are beautiful" "you are so offensive " was just pure insanity these people remind me of those mean christians in the church who think they are superior to others just because they follow a certain set of beliefs. It was just disturbing to experience and it was a feminist secular women's forum. These women mirror the similarities of the Christians I grew up with and it is sooo scary
I wish I didn't think these things but my own experiences of racism and rejection and humiliation from guys made me hate my body and the self loathing. I am just product of society. People should be condemning the system and society that made me like that way in the first place. Monsters are not born they are made.
Society and all its hypocritical arseholes can go f*ck themselves. Suicide prevention is the biggest hypocrisy ever.