I mixed up the sn but i just don't have the guts to take it

[Kyuss]

i actually mixed up the sn and tasted the spoon, it's just salty doesn't seem terrible. But i don't have the guts to actually drink it. I'm trying to write a note and it just feels so stupid and wrong but my life is pretty fucked. I got some unresolved legal bullshit because of a DUI and i might end up doing a little time and becoming homeless. Best case scenario i wind up in a halfway way house or something... It's still possible i might talk myself into it in a few hours but i don't know if i can follow through. Scared of it not working and kinda scared of it working.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you are going through a lot, I know that this life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much. I can imagine it must be awful having to deal with all that. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Kyuss]

It sounds like you are going through a lot, I know that this life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much. I can imagine it must be awful having to deal with all that. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

Thanks I'm still here and considering everything. SI is a hell of a thing to confront

 

[DisillusionedDragon]

I'm sorry you're going through all this.
I just wanted to add that I think that it's very important that one is absolutely sure about wanting to catch the bus before attempting to do so. Otherwise things can easily go awry.
So if this is really what you want to happen today, it's your decision, I just don't want you to get hurt or have things happen which you really don't want to happen.

And yeah, our survival instinct really is one of the most difficult things one can confront. There are people here for the sole reason of being unable to overcome it, and there's no shame in that.
I sometimes get really mad at and upset by the existence of the survival instinct, even though that really doesn't make much sense.​

 

[downndone2]

Definitely be sure it is what you really want to do. Dont do anything rash. I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

 

[Kyuss]

I'm sorry you're going through all this.
I just wanted to add that I think that it's very important that one is absolutely sure about wanting to catch the bus before attempting to do so. Otherwise things can easily go awry.
So if this is really what you want to happen today, it's your decision, I just don't want you to get hurt or have things happen which you really don't want to happen.

And yeah, our survival instinct really is one of the most difficult things one can confront. There are people here for the sole reason of being unable to overcome it, and there's no shame in that.
I sometimes get really mad at and upset by the existence of the survival instinct, even though that really doesn't make much sense.​

I have been contemplating it for a long time. Some of my apprehension due not wanting to get hurt. I have a feeling it just won't work right and I'll be even worse off for trying.

 

[rationaltake]

I have been contemplating it for a long time. Some of my apprehension due not wanting to get hurt. I have a feeling it just won't work right and I'll be even worse off for trying.

Me too. I've got what I need. But can't do it.

 

[DisillusionedDragon]

I have been contemplating it for a long time. Some of my apprehension due not wanting to get hurt. I have a feeling it just won't work right and I'll be even worse off for trying.

Those concerns are perfectly understandable. Sadly I can't really help with that or offer any valuable input, especially since I'm not an expert in your chosen method.
I hope you can decide on what you think is right for you, it really is no easy decision.

 

[cappuccinogirl]

Hi how are you doing? I'm in similar place re trying desperately to take it. xxx

 

[AtlasMik12]

i actually mixed up the sn and tasted the spoon, it's just salty doesn't seem terrible. But i don't have the guts to actually drink it. I'm trying to write a note and it just feels so stupid and wrong but my life is pretty fucked. I got some unresolved legal bullshit because of a DUI and i might end up doing a little time and becoming homeless. Best case scenario i wind up in a halfway way house or something... It's still possible i might talk myself into it in a few hours but i don't know if i can follow through. Scared of it not working and kinda scared of it working.

I mean it when I say I'm truly sorry you got to this point. Something I've learned in this forum is ctb is not something you should do immediately, you can take all the time you need to really consider and think about everything. It is okay to feel scare we're humans, we feel so think about that and I do really hope everthing works well in the end for you regardless of the decision you make. Sending you a tone of hugs buddie.

 

[nowayout*]

Alf hve abortd abt 4 s.n attmpts & hd 2 purchse mre

Dang that's alot.

 

[Belljar]

The legal issues you mentioned can be worked through. If you still want to live things like that can be cleared from your record in a number of years. It's still possible to have a life after prison.

 

[Kyuss]

Hi how are you doing? I'm in similar place re trying desperately to take it.

Hey I'm still too scared to drink it. Hard to work up the courage.

 

[LostAllHope88]

Hey I'm still too scared to drink it. Hard to work up the courage.

No shame, it's not something you can just undo. Death can be a terrifying thought despite the fact that it's inevitable for all of us at some point. If you're not ready to go it's as simple as that, and you should take all the time you need. You don't have to do it today, or tomorrow, or two weeks from now if you don't want to. You don't have to do it at all! Take care of yourself right now and treat yourself with love and kindness