Method I might actually be stupid

[Olivie_420]

I made a little update, rant, wtv you wanna call it on Saturday and since then, ive been thinking about my past ctbs. All failed because the meds werent strong enough and a bunch of stomach pumps..

But when i die i dont *want* to be found. So, here goes my stupid lil thought.

Why not have my "ctb" be caused by someone else? Like a kidnapper or someone from a craigslist ad? Idk, it seems like most craigslist ads r very sketchy so it would be easy for me to do it. Ask for a free ride on the public transit to wherever they say, and just disappear from the world.

Idk who specifically, but id love to end up being killed by one of those vampire ppl who actually drink blood.. Finally id be useful in that case.

-olivie <3

 

[GotTheTickets]

A big "NO NO" if you ask me.
More here:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-can-i-make-someone-kill-me-can-i-walk-around-looking-clueless-at-night.217898/

 

[Olivie_420]

A big "NO NO" if you ask me.
More here:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-can-i-make-someone-kill-me-can-i-walk-around-looking-clueless-at-night.217898/

I understand the pros and cons of using craigslist kidnappers as ctb, but in all honesty ive gone thru everything traumatic under the damn sun. Ik people can do "worse" than just kill me bc im AFAB and very feminine presenting bc ive been thru it all before by even my own blood.. Eventually, they would kill me or something though. Which is my only end game.

 

[GotTheTickets]

There only cons and possible one pro. Definitely not worth it. You've gone thru enough.

 

[Olivie_420]

There only cons and possible one pro. Definitely not worth it. You've gone thru enough.

We might have different thoughts on whats "worth it". My only goal is to just disappear and everytime i do it myself i just get dragged back to the land of the living And im my 19 yrs of living, ive tried to ctb in every possible damn way. I tried ctb 14 times. If theres only 1 pro in a sea of cons, then so be it. Its better for me than no pros at all

 

[GotTheTickets]

Geez, you're not messing around, dont you? 14 times??

 

[Hollowman]

If you tried every possible way you'd be dead. I don't mean to be a dick but the cl thing is stupid.

 

[Olivie_420]

Geez, you're not messing around, dont you? 14 times??

In my defense, my lifes been really shitty. Tmi but it just included a bunch of severe abuse, multiple SA from blood family and ppl i loved, homelessness, a cult, and chronic illness that kinda makes it unbearable to live. I feel like ive been thru enough a longg time ago. Ive tried to take the therapist route, the self healing journey route, became mental health spiritually for a bit before i realized it was a scam. And nothing has worked, deadly or not. Im just desperate for a way to grow my wings and be free atp. I have never been on craigslist before as one so i thought itd be worth a shot. A death is a death no matter what it takes to get there.

 

[GotTheTickets]

Did you tried to find a "partner" here? Someone who's close and could help.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Anyone who offers to kill you is too likely to be law enforcement who will just arrest you and put you in the hospital.

It's a stupid non-method.

 

[nemesis_]

I made a little update, rant, wtv you wanna call it on Saturday and since then, ive been thinking about my past ctbs. All failed because the meds werent strong enough and a bunch of stomach pumps..

But when i die i dont *want* to be found. So, here goes my stupid lil thought.

Why not have my "ctb" be caused by someone else? Like a kidnapper or someone from a craigslist ad? Idk, it seems like most craigslist ads r very sketchy so it would be easy for me to do it. Ask for a free ride on the public transit to wherever they say, and just disappear from the world.

Idk who specifically, but id love to end up being killed by one of those vampire ppl who actually drink blood.. Finally id be useful in that case.

-olivie <3

i've actually thought about this too. i'd be eternally grateful if someone just shot me in the head and got it over with lol.

 

[Olivie_420]

Did you tried to find a "partner" here? Someone who's close and could help.

I kinda have one i guess? Idk, a kind girl from my old posts reaches out to me whenever a new post from me rolls around and we talk, and i have a SaSu user who follows me instagram (who i dont talk to) but i js dont rlly feel connected to ANYONE, even myself.

Anyone who offers to kill you is too likely to be law enforcement who will just arrest you and put you in the hospital.

It's a stupid non-method.

I thought of that, but theres much more damgerous people than police, especially online, so its worth the try

i've actually thought about this too. i'd be eternally grateful if someone just shot me in the head and got it over with lol.

Yeah. Ever since the Charlie Kirk shit i thought about being shot, but most likely a craigslist murderer would do it old fashion without a gun. Im fine with that. I feel like even though in the US, guns are a main cause of death but even then, even the most fatal of GSW can be survived. When i was in school i rlly enjoyed forensic science, and one of my friends is rlly obsessed with airsoft and the army so i know what can happen.

If you tried every possible way you'd be dead. I don't mean to be a dick but the cl thing is stupid.

Imma be so honest but i didnt see this and i feel kinda bad for not responding bc i responded to everyone else.

No worries about u being a dick lol. Obviously i did not mean EVERY possible way, just every possible way i can obtain. Like firearms, pills, knives, hanging, jumping, fucking fentanyl, and i even got a few friends to think i was doing a cool science experiment once and get me some things that i thought would do the job. I researched heavily on it, and i have a natural love and talent for any science so i thought it would work. My body is a book that shows the story of the pain i have been in, and my attempts, and even medical scars from each time theyd put tubes in my stomach after attempts.

I know its a bit of some dumbassery, im a lil high offa blunt right now, but its honestly the only thing i can think of that i have access too. Im basically homeless, only thing is i have a roof over my head but not for long, so i cant afford any fancy shit like the mask method or SN, and im tired of trying to go through with CTB alone, because no matter what happens someone always ends up finding me and ruining it.