executioner1983
death is sustainable
- Oct 2, 2023
- 77
Took the train and rode it as far I could because I just can't function right now. I can't even talk about it yet. I just want to be alone forever. Relationships are so overrated and I hate that I couldn't understand this before. I love myself, I love eveything about me, I am seriously so cool and i STILL felt this pressure to find someone else. I guess I felt that this would all be a waste, my appearance, my personality, if I didn't allow anyone else to experience them. I wanted to give myself to someone else while I was still in my prime. I now know that's stupid. I would much rather keep everything to myself if it means avoiding what I can't even write out. And what's even more stupid is I'm pretty sure I'm aromantic/assexual. I've dated all types of boys and found little to no emotional or sexual attraction to any of them. I just liked being desired and everything else that came with it, I liked giving guys what they wanted, I liked seeing how happy and proud of themselves it made them, and now because I was too stupid to listen to how I actually felt I may have actually ruined my life. I guess it serves me right.