Venting I may have caused depression for someone yesterday

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I'm feeling a lot of guilt over something that happened yesterday and I'm worried for the mental health of the other party involved.
Yesterday there were e-sports tryouts at my uni. I'm on varsity for the game I play but we have a junior varsity team. The problem is that junior varsity (JV) is still stacked with good players despite being intended for beginners. In order for someone to make the team, they'd have to be so good that it justifies dropping someone from the team.
There's this one guy who we'll call Tom. He's a freshman with a stutter and is pretty awkward but he's a good person. He tried out last semester and didn't make it and got pretty upset when he lost. When he came to the esports room to practice a week before tryouts, I could tell he'd gotten better at the game and handling his temper. I decided to spend the week practicing with him to try and help him get on the team because it clearly meant a lot to him. He later told me that he basically had no friends and that joining the team would be a good opportunity to make some. This really struck a chord with me because I don't have any friends in this area outside of the e-sports team. In another universe I could've been in the exact same position as him. I happened to join right as a ton of good players had graduated and barely managed to secure my spot. In other words, I have friends and Tom doesn't simply because of luck.
Tryouts came and Tom was nervous but optimistic. There were 16 trying out and 10 total available spots between JV and Varsity. The coach decided to send the four poorest performing players home before moving onto the final phase. Tom was sent home even though he was the only one of the four who managed to get a win. Apparently his losses weren't close enough to victories but part of me thinks the coach thought he wasn't "ready" for the position or didn't want it enough or something.
Here's where my blunder comes in. For a long time I considered telling the coach what Tom told me about not having friends and how much it meant to him, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to create any form of bias. I wanted to tell the coach how hard Tom had been working to improve and how dedicated he was. When he wasn't picked for the final phase, I should've spoken up and said that because he got a win he should've had a chance. But I didn't say anything.
Tom didn't take the news well. He tried pleading with the coach and arguing why he should be on but the coach didn't budge. I didn't listen in on everything he said because I was focusing on securing my varsity spot, but honestly he was making a compelling case for himself and I wish I'd stood up for him. In all honesty I don't think he would've made the team if he had moved onto the next phase, but it would've given him something to hang onto. I talked to him right before he left and I tried to explain how this wasn't his last chance, but that didn't seem to help. I hung out with him today and we played some games but he didn't seem interested at all and barely said a world. I don't think he's suicidal since he hasn't given any indication about self harm, but he's definitely going to be lonely and maybe even depressed for the rest of the semester. I said I'd spend time with him when I could and I plan to do that, but I'm a full-time student and on the varsity team for e-sports so my time is limited.
At this point I'm really not sure what to do or if there's anything I can do. Maybe he just needs some time but it tears me up inside being unable to help someone so similar to myself. Like I said earlier, I got pretty lucky to be in the spot I am now. It's not too unlikely I could've been in the exact same position as him.

 

[JustA_LittlePerson]

You telling the coach probably wouldn't have changed his mind. I'd say you already helped him a great lot by being his friend, even he seems to know it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

You sound like a very kind person. I'm sure it meant a great deal to Tom that you helped him. Sadly though, this world is very competetive. That's a lesson we all unfortunately become introduced and reintroduced to throughout life. It's hard to judge whether sugar coating that truth now would do him any favours in the longer term.

I'm not convinced you would have convinced the coach either. Are they in the habit of making 'sympathy' choices? Let's say they did accept him though but Tom couldn't compete at the same level as everyone else. How kindly would they treat him if they worked out it was a 'sympathy' vote that got him on the team? I guess it depends how competetive they get.

It's great that he made progress but, the coach will be looking for things other than just ability I imagine. Would being the 'worst' in the team- if he had gotten on to it (presumably) affect him? Could he have coped with that pressure? Would all the other team mates be as generous as you or would some get annoyed with him if he happened to mess up? It's cruel but, maybe the coach was looking for stability and resilience also. This is presumably for a competition, rather than a social club?

Are there clubs that play this game together? If the hope is to make friends as well as improve in the game, could he join them?

Obviously, it's still really disappointing but I'm afraid the majority of us will fail at something at some point. No matter how hard we try or, how much it means to us. It's just another sucky aspect of life sadly.

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

You sound like a very kind person. I'm sure it meant a great deal to Tom that you helped him. Sadly though, this world is very competetive. That's a lesson we all unfortunately become introduced and reintroduced to throughout life. It's hard to judge whether sugar coating that truth now would do him any favours in the longer term.

I'm not convinced you would have convinced the coach either. Are they in the habit of making 'sympathy' choices? Let's say they did accept him though but Tom couldn't compete at the same level as everyone else. How kindly would they treat him if they worked out it was a 'sympathy' vote that got him on the team? I guess it depends how competetive they get.

It's great that he made progress but, the coach will be looking for things other than just ability I imagine. Would being the 'worst' in the team- if he had gotten on to it (presumably) affect him? Could he have coped with that pressure? Would all the other team mates be as generous as you or would some get annoyed with him if he happened to mess up? It's cruel but, maybe the coach was looking for stability and resilience also. This is presumably for a competition, rather than a social club?

Are there clubs that play this game together? If the hope is to make friends as well as improve in the game, could he join them?

Obviously, it's still really disappointing but I'm afraid the majority of us will fail at something at some point. No matter how hard we try or, how much it means to us. It's just another sucky aspect of life sadly.

Sadly there's not any clubs for this game because most of the people who'd join one are already on the team and are busy with that. I actually looked into making a club recently but I don't have enough time to manage it. I can't just abandon my position and let my own friends down.
You raise a good point about what it'd be like being the "worst" member. If he made it, it would've been as a substitute, so he might not have gotten to play in many games. But more than anything I think he just wanted a group of people to call his friends. And that's what kills me the most about this situation because it feels like we're shutting him out of a social life.
A big problem I didn't mention is that he can't play the game online in the dorms because apparently the dorms' internet doesn't have the right NAT type (I don't fully understand it I'm no expert). The e-sports room can play online just fine, but you have to be on the team in order to use it, so there's a sort of "rich get richer" type of system. In other words, those not on the team will never make it unless someone graduates because there's no way to improve to a level beyond them. And sadly for Tom, half the team is currently freshmen and almost no one is going to graduate for over a year. That's a long time to go without friends.
Realistically, there's not much more I could've done to get him on the team. I find it very unlikely that he would've replaced anyone who was on the team last season even if he had made it to phase 2 of tryouts. But I'm worried that he's going to see this as a sign that he'll never have friends and that life isn't worth it. I know that's the way I'd interpret things.

 

[mya_]

I think it was really nice that you spent some time helping Tom to get better. If you are worried about him, maybe you could try to have a conversation with him and see how he's feeling about it all. Also, I believe that he's going to appreciate you offering your friendship and support.