angelcircuit
"I feel like I can do... just about anything."
- Feb 23, 2023
- 43
My friend works as a vet, and they were hired on the spot without any requirements or anything about a year or so ago. They tend to animals and take care of them, which includes medicating them. Tonight me and my friend went out to some skating rink to have fun, and it really was! Except for the looming dread hanging over my head knowing that one day will be the last time we will ever hang out like this again, and that day is creeping closer with every second. But that made me cherish the moments we share even more.
On the car ride home I mentioned how I was looking for a job, and being a vet seemed really interesting to me since I love animals a lot, and I sorta always wanted to work in some medical field anyway. My friend instantly shot up and got super excited, bringing up ideas on how we could work at the same place together, shifts that would work with our school schedules, etc. They even offered to help with transportation.
I feel like shit.
I mean yeah I'm happy, but my friend has no clue about my ulterior motives and I feel horrible for involving them in my messed-up plan. I'm worried if trying to steal N or anything else like that will risk their job. I don't know if simply them giving me the application means they'll be held responsible for my actions. I also don't know how I would go about taking a bottle without anyone noticing, like if there's a specific time window for how long I can get away with it until I'm caught. Should I CTB the night I steal the N? Or would I have time? I don't know.
It's stressful, its scary, but I'm desperate. My alternative plan is to get SN since I already have ondansetron and meclizine, but I won't be able to get it until next year due to some other reasons.
Why is it so fucking hard to get the peace I want? A part of me wants to say everything in my life is fighting against me, but if it wasn't for the impulsive text from my friend asking to go hang out tonight I wouldn't have even been given the opportunity to ask for that job to begin with. Still, it sucks.
I don't know. If it doesn't end up working out, or if I have to work months before I can get my hands on the N, then I'll buy SN when I possibly can. I just want the peaceful way out if possible.
In the meantime I'm trying to create a small animation before I eventually CTB since I want to finish one project before I go. Something I've always wanted to do. If I end up finishing it, maybe I can post it here when its time for me to go :)
Thank you for reading. If theres any advice, suggestions, tips, anything, please feel free to share. I need all the help I can get at this point lol.
On the car ride home I mentioned how I was looking for a job, and being a vet seemed really interesting to me since I love animals a lot, and I sorta always wanted to work in some medical field anyway. My friend instantly shot up and got super excited, bringing up ideas on how we could work at the same place together, shifts that would work with our school schedules, etc. They even offered to help with transportation.
I feel like shit.
I mean yeah I'm happy, but my friend has no clue about my ulterior motives and I feel horrible for involving them in my messed-up plan. I'm worried if trying to steal N or anything else like that will risk their job. I don't know if simply them giving me the application means they'll be held responsible for my actions. I also don't know how I would go about taking a bottle without anyone noticing, like if there's a specific time window for how long I can get away with it until I'm caught. Should I CTB the night I steal the N? Or would I have time? I don't know.
It's stressful, its scary, but I'm desperate. My alternative plan is to get SN since I already have ondansetron and meclizine, but I won't be able to get it until next year due to some other reasons.
Why is it so fucking hard to get the peace I want? A part of me wants to say everything in my life is fighting against me, but if it wasn't for the impulsive text from my friend asking to go hang out tonight I wouldn't have even been given the opportunity to ask for that job to begin with. Still, it sucks.
I don't know. If it doesn't end up working out, or if I have to work months before I can get my hands on the N, then I'll buy SN when I possibly can. I just want the peaceful way out if possible.
In the meantime I'm trying to create a small animation before I eventually CTB since I want to finish one project before I go. Something I've always wanted to do. If I end up finishing it, maybe I can post it here when its time for me to go :)
Thank you for reading. If theres any advice, suggestions, tips, anything, please feel free to share. I need all the help I can get at this point lol.