I' m living this nightmare of my sorry life fully since yesterday and lost all hope for recovering

[Ineedtodie]

My life is a joke. I can't recover at this point. Forget my story I know I can't.Too much triggered. This site is all that's left to express this tormented mind of mine. I rather just CTB today. Words have no meaning anymore. I have a set for full hanging and it's reliable. I' m certain I be dead. All I have to do is beat this Inertia keeping this body and mind alive.

edit: an old thread titled I feel like a deathrow inmate. My life became simply a nightmare was recommended below. I relate alot with this. That's how I feel.

edit: I' m just wondering in what kind of place the OP is now? Is it more simple then I' m expecting it to be.

edit: I haven't been here for a long time so haven't made myself familiar with much people. But I think a poster cbt by full hanging a couple of weeks back. She was so nice. We chatted a bit. I hope she is in peace and laughing. She didn't make a big deal about it somehow. At least that's partly what I sensed. She was just gone. I hope she is just in peace.

edit: an other old thread I relate with was recommended below as well titled "trapped in a living nightmare". Just how many of us feel or felt the same. Its so sad and disheartening.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing certainly is torture which is why the thought of non existence appeals to me so much. No wonder so many people decide to ctb and I envy those who succeed so much, they are lucky to be free from this hellish world. It makes hanging sound so much easier than it actually is when you hear of all these people succeeding, I so admire the courage they had to free themselves from an existence not worth enduring.

 

[Ineedtodie]

Maybe you are catastrophizing a bit. It is not that bad in modern society. It is not great either if you cannot be useful, so I guess It is up to a view point.

That's how I feel. It's great your not feeling or thinking the same.

Existing certainly is torture which is why the thought of non existence appeals to me so much. No wonder so many people decide to ctb and I envy those who succeed so much, they are lucky to be free from this hellish world. It makes hanging sound so much easier than it actually is when you hear of all these people succeeding, I so admire the courage they had to free themselves from an existence not worth enduring

I envy them so much for refusing torture and their dignity taken away by this horrid nightmare of a life.