I love this place but..

[Thoughtforms]

I feel like it's making me worse.

But I still can't log off as i find some comfort in it.

Does anyone else feel like this?

My boss wants to fire me because of my depression. She's tired of me being sad and withdrawn. But the more I come on here the more I feel sad and want to
CTB

 

[Johnnythefox]

I feel like it's making me worse.

But I still can't log off as i find some comfort in it.

Does anyone else feel like this?

My boss wants to fire me because of my depression. She's tired of me being sad and withdrawn. But the more I come on here the more I feel sad and want to
CTB

I might get slated for saying this, but I agree with you on that. Being around negativity is not going to make you positive. It just seems to feed your negativity even more.
I'm kind of waiting for a backlash for this.

 

[worldexploder]

Everyone is different and I respect your feelings about it all.

For me personally, it helps to be surrounded by all this support and validation. I feel like people get where I am coming from and I get them. My ideas, struggles, and goals are not alien to those on SS. I am not alone.

As for my mental status I don't feel any worse. I relate to neuroticism. I would be far worse off in a group filled with "normies" and optimists. I wouldn't be able to relate to anyone.

 

[LetMeDiePlease]

I feel like it's making me worse.

But I still can't log off as i find some comfort in it.

Does anyone else feel like this?

My boss wants to fire me because of my depression. She's tired of me being sad and withdrawn. But the more I come on here the more I feel sad and want to
CTB

The point of this forum is to encourage suicide, rather than those others with pro-lifers going "Don't die... There is so much to live for BS". I kind of agree that we find comfort in that others agree with us, while at the same time feeling more encouraged ctb.

 

[Thoughtforms]

Yes this is true. I came here looking for instructions. I've been researching for 2 years now but never found a site that also had a support network.

I just feel deeper in it than ever since finding this group. I've been depressed for a long time but not as bad as this. Maybe it's the realisation that I will actually probably succeed this time.

 

[Jodes]

Those like us need to engage our deep, dark brains into doing anything But want death.

Here is perhaps the only place to start if you are in the deepest suicidal state. But defo not 100% healthy, maybe, use it to draw yourself out? Step at a time, move outwards when ready to perhaps a clinical therapeutic setting instead. You'll always be welcome here :)

 

[Threads]

While I support the right of choice, I also believe in recovery.

This doesn't have to be the end for you. I'm here because I know what it is like to want to die and not exist. I need to be here right now. I need to be amongst others who I can share these feelings with. We also have rules in place not allowing encouragement. No one is allowed to encourage, only advise and support.

Suicide is a highly personal thing and a tremendous choice. It's a decision only you can make. If you feel like this place is pushing you further in one direction or another, you might need to take a break.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Nah, I really like the site. It depends where you're at though, psychologically. Many people here still go through phases of hope and optimism, and ultimately leave because they feel the way you do. That's a good thing in my view. If you see a way out of all this crap, more power to you, and I wish you the best.

For people like me, it's a little different. I've tried the hope/recovery thing and been beat down every time. At this stage, I feel like believing in a turnaround is naive. I'm done getting my hopes up and getting proverbial egg on my face each time as I get the rug pulled out from under me. So at this point I'm ready to roll around in the gutter until something pushes me over the edge.

 

[LifeSick]

The point of this forum is to encourage suicide, rather than those others with pro-lifers going "Don't die... There is so much to live for BS". I kind of agree that we find comfort in that others agree with us, while at the same time feeling more encouraged ctb.

I think encouraging suicide is against the forum rules.

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

Yeah, I like this place and I really like the people here, but it makes me feel more unreal than ever. Like you said, it's comforting to know that there are others who feel this way and it's good that this place does not outright encourage suicide, but I don't know if it's healthy for my mental state. It's more factors than just that though that have made it especially worse the past few months.

I feel pretty lost, tbh

 

[blindstatue]

The point of this forum is to encourage suicide, rather than those others with pro-lifers going "Don't die... There is so much to live for BS". I kind of agree that we find comfort in that others agree with us, while at the same time feeling more encouraged ctb.

I don't think this forum encourages suicide. Rather, it provides comfort to people who have already decided they want to die, and assists them in finding the most reliable methods so they don't end up a vegetable.

 

[RainAndSadness]

I feel like it's making me worse.

But I still can't log off as i find some comfort in it.

I definitely can relate to that. I've said it in another thread, this forum is great and I love being around people that are in a similar situation like me but it also makes me sad. Some very nice people I've talked to in the past left and it's always heartbreaking for me to read their stories and goodbye posts.

 

[ChemicallyCalm]

I feel really comfortable here already. I don't feel like it's making me worse per sey, it's given me ideas but I already wanted to die anyway before I sought out the site. But I get what you mean.
I'm definitely going to get upset as I bond with people and they CTB, but I support their decision and I'm grateful people also support mine.
Yeah, this site is never gonna help anyone's metal health, but it's definitely a safe space for the bad thoughts and feelings. I also feel it's helpful, it'll help you find a way to CTB, or it'll really make you think and you might back out and leave. It's good in its own dark way.

 

[lost illusions]

The point of this forum is to encourage suicide, rather than those others with pro-lifers going "Don't die... There is so much to live for BS". I kind of agree that we find comfort in that others agree with us, while at the same time feeling more encouraged ctb.

I disagree with your statement. This site really isn't about encouraging suicide but rather pro-choice. Most of us will support someone that wants to take they're life but if it doesn't go as planned or someone changes they're mind, that's ok too. Just having a place to go for research, to vent, to find common thought, common back ground has been comforting. Support while your here, best of wishes when you go

 

[Xerxes]

Before I joined, I had a gazillion different methods and my mind was racing as to which one I should go with, but after joining and reading a lot of the comments of people who have tried and failed, I've narrowed it down to just 3 and it gave me a more realistic expectation of how I'm going to die. Plus I've been in an isolated shell and haven't spoken to anyone in awhile besides my wife, so being with people who share the same goal in dying helps keep me level.

 

[sini]

Yes this is true. I came here looking for instructions. I've been researching for 2 years now but never found a site that also had a support network.

I just feel deeper in it than ever since finding this group. I've been depressed for a long time but not as bad as this. Maybe it's the realisation that I will actually probably succeed this time.

When you try to recover and have better life and have hope then reading posts from those who don't have any hope for life without constant suffering and who are dieing anyways may not be good for you. I get that.
People who don't have any hope to live without constant pain or dieing must think that death is better and good for them. They have often accepted their dieing and are in peace with it and have learned to think positively about death or think it's their destiny.

What if you stopped reading Good Bye posts, method pages and some afterlife forums and talk with others who try to pull through life? Here are many people who are depressed but try to live with it and get better with others support.

 

[Mr2005]

This isn't the place to come for recovery but many do. You are living proof my "pro life" talk is warranted. Seeing people being talked into it when they're quite clearing crying out for help has been painful to watch and one of the reasons it's made me even more depressed. People can't see past themselves enough to read between the lines or at worst they're trolls that are here because they enjoy watching people suffer. Even if you came here to die it should be done right and for the right reasons

I feel like it's making me worse.

But I still can't log off as i find some comfort in it.

Does anyone else feel like this?

My boss wants to fire me because of my depression. She's tired of me being sad and withdrawn. But the more I come on here the more I feel sad and want to
CTB

 

[sini]

I agree that for recovery there are better sites than this. Here are so many people who plan to end their suffering and have given up hope for things to get better and some don't have hope to live long anyways due to disease. It can be really hard to give hope to others when you have lost it yourself. When wanting recovery I think it's better to get support from people who try to recover also from similar situation and people who have recovered from similar situations.

Though I have seen here many trying to talk people (whose life ain't hopeless) out of it and otherwise only respecting everyone's own choice to live or die and give love and support in any case.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

I feel like it's making me worse.

But I still can't log off as i find some comfort in it.

Does anyone else feel like this?

My boss wants to fire me because of my depression. She's tired of me being sad and withdrawn. But the more I come on here the more I feel sad and want to
CTB

Thats fucked up. Do you work a "traditional" job? Have you any medical records with a diagnosis?

Ive been "harassed" at work essentially for looking sad. I cursed everyone out and I quit. If it happens again, i plan to produce all types of paper work from my doc and sue the fuck out these people.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

This is really the only place I have to interact. I don't look at it a negative place. It makes me feel better to know I'm not alone. Which in turn makes it less trying to interact with my coworkers.

But, I understand the sentiment. I wish you well.

 

[sini]

Also if someone wants love, attention or to be somehow saved or persuaded not to by telling others they are going to ctb I think that this is really wrong place to do it. Just about any other site will be better though there are often mean trolls in most open social medias. For example professional group therapy, chat rooms under some mental health organisation and suicide hotlines are for that. By telling friends and relatives works best.

People here can't be expected to know who wants to ctb for real and who don't, know how to read between the lines and know how to help them. This is pro choice place where people support others choice what ever it is. Here are many people in similar situation than in euthanasia sites. So the shock effect wont work here like in most places. On contrary in most other chat rooms people automatically assume that the person who says she wants to die really doesn't and needs to be persuaded not to and somehow adviced. I would assume that too in other sites and most likely do the same.

People support here those who say that they want to live, recover and try to get better life. But in same forum others may be supported for their choice to ctb.
I fear that people who have hope and want to recover can be mentally influenced reading posts from people whose situation is totally different. And especially from befriending people and reading their goodbye notes or not ever hearing from them again which most likely meant that he/she had moved on.

This site wont change and this site helps those who have no other option (suffering 24/7 isn't much of an option) and here people don't have to be afraid to speak anything. They are loved and cared no matter what. That special character may come because many people here are close to death and understand what really matters and aren't superficial and judgemental and because many have suffered from others so much. I have never met so nice people in my life.

Anyway, I wish all can find the right kind of support and friends to help in their situation and I will send my love to all people in this life and life beyond.