I love myself but i hate society. anyone else like this?

[Daystavro]

I don't want to ctb because I hate myself.
On the contrary, I love myself.
I think I am a good hearted, kind, gentle, well behaved, polite, patient, law abiding, noble, considerate, and all around pleasant and wonderful guy.

It's the cruel, unjust, and unkind and unpleasant and ungentle and judgemental society we live in.
Filled with evil and unkind and unpleasant people(99.99% of people in my opinion).
And it's all about money.
It's all about how much money you earn and have.

So I want to CTB because of society and the fact that it's all about money and because other people are not as kind and pleasant and gentle, and considerate and nice and good hearted and nice as me.

 

[Rollo]

It's up to you how you want to solve it but to me you don't have to exist as a part of society. You can exist outside of it. Not physically but spiritually. Consider them as element of your enviroment that you have to deal with.

 

[Daystavro]

It's up to you how you want to solve it but to me you don't have to exist as a part of society. You can exist outside of it. Not physically but spiritually. Consider them as element of your enviroment that you have to deal with.

Yeah, but it's practically impossible to live out of society these days.
It was possible in the past a hundred or more years ago.

 

[Rollo]

Yeah, but it's practically impossible to live out of society these days.
It was possible in the past a hundred or more years ago.

Why? Like I said - not physically. Not you going deep into the woods. But spiritually. Meaning you still live among them. You just don't view yourself as part of them. But as an independent organism that have to deal with the foreign organism - society. Although among other things it would mean that their laws are not your laws. You have your own laws that may or may not coincide with theirs, but you only live by yours. Ofcourse you will have to take theirs into account but only by necessity. Not as part of your value system.

 

[Putridsoul]

Objetively I suposse I am not horrible, or so does people tell me; however, i ended up hating myself because the hate, bullying, and abuse done on me kind of stuck and made me feel like I deserved it. I alredy passed highschool, stopped talking to my father, etc, but now it is within me and I am my worst enemy; I can't think possitevely about me or love myself. Therefore I do think society and the enviroment played a big part in causing my illness.

I agree that capitalism is fucking horrible. Everything is so superficil and oriented towards the gain of money and goods, stepping on others, competing constantly, comparing to others constantly, with absolutely no consideration towards others or the enviroment. True suicide fuel.

 

[Trashcan]

I dislike both.

 

[Susannah]

Why? Like I said - not physically. Not you going deep into the woods. But spiritually. Meaning you still live among them. You just don't view yourself as part of them. But as an independent organism that have to deal with the foreign organism - society. Although among other things it would mean that their laws are not your laws. You have your own laws that may or may not coincide with theirs, but you only live by yours. Ofcourse you will have to take theirs into account but only by necessity. Not as part of your value system.

I've been living like that for years, physically existing in society, but mentally in another time and place. Still lonely though.

 

[Rollo]

I've been living like that for years, physically existing in society, but mentally in another time and place. Still lonely though.

Well to be honest my point is not escaping society mentally. I believe in living here and now, wherether and whenether you are. My point is escaping society spiritually. Meaning you reevaluate the significance of society in your life. You divorce it. You stop looking for love from society and take it ultimately upon yourself to secure your needs. Then you can treat society as but another element of enviroment, together with animals, plants and inanimate world. Which doesn't mean you can't talk to people or ask people for things or be kind and grateful. It's just now it's up to you to decide how to be, including whether you want to be kind at all, and if you do to what extent, to whom etc. And you're sovereign in this, no ill will from society can influence your choice.

So then if people are cruel to you it's no big deal - you due handle them just like you would handle animal assaulting you. Now you can stop expecting people to be nice to you and let them come as they are.

 

[Roph]

I hate myself and the disaster my life has become. While society hasn't made things easier, I blame myself at the end of the day.

 

[Susannah]

Well to be honest my point is not escaping society mentally. I believe in living here and now, wherether and whenether you are. My point is escaping society spiritually. Meaning you reevaluate the significance of society in your life. You divorce it. You stop looking for love from society and take it ultimately upon yourself to secure your needs. Then you can treat society as but another element of enviroment, together with animals, plants and inanimate world. Which doesn't mean you can't talk to people or ask people for things or be kind and grateful. It's just now it's up to you to decide how to be, including whether you want to be kind at all, and if you do to what extent, to whom etc. And you're sovereign in this, no ill will from society can influence your choice.

So then if people are cruel to you it's no big deal - you due handle them just like you would handle animal assaulting you. Now you can stop expecting people to be nice to you and let them come as they are.

I see the difference. I guess I'm not very spirituel. But it sounds really nice, in theory. In "practice" I wouldn't know how to reach a high level like that. Is this your way of coping, or just an ultimate state possible?

 

[Rollo]

I see the difference. I guess I'm not very spirituel. But it sounds really nice, in theory. In "practice" I wouldn't know how to reach a high level like that. Is this your way of coping, or just an ultimate state possible?

It's an ultimate state possible, I exist like this. I wouldn't call it way of coping but I came to this state as a result of spiritual path propelled by solving anxiety issues. I'm not suicidal mind you, I'm only here to talk. For me 'spiritual' is not some sort of approving term. Anxiety, self-confidence, self-esteem, shyness, love, values etc etc - all these I would call spiritual constitution. So if you have an internal conversation about those, you rethink some of your choices regarding those, then I say you are going a spiritual path. Which is not necessarily cozy either. It's just how I use the term. So what people refer to as 'mental illness' I would call 'spiritual illness'. Cause mental to me is like you mentioned it when you said you live in other places and times - it's strictly about thought.

This state is essentially a state of being, state of choices, so I wouldn't say you can reach it in the sense that you do something and then wait for the state to happen. It just comes naturally as you go the path. If you want help I can do it.

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

Without DXM I'm kind of this way, I'm a narcissist I realize, the older I get, but it's a bit of a defense mechanism I think, people will sometimes eat you alive and become indifferent to you, but I've done the same to others. It's a world of increased creature comforts and ease of communication, but things are more complicated these days.

 

[Julia Ofelia]

I dislike both.

Same.

 

[AgingLoser]

No. I hate myself and am indifferent to society.

 

[Mr2005]

I don't want to ctb because I hate myself.
On the contrary, I love myself.
I think I am a good hearted, kind, gentle, well behaved, polite, patient, law abiding, noble, considerate, and all around pleasant and wonderful guy.

It's the cruel, unjust, and unkind and unpleasant and ungentle and judgemental society we live in.
Filled with evil and unkind and unpleasant people(99.99% of people in my opinion).
And it's all about money.
It's all about how much money you earn and have.

So I want to CTB because of society and the fact that it's all about money and because other people are not as kind and pleasant and gentle, and considerate and nice and good hearted and nice as me.

I'm sure all those people think they're all those things too and just lack self awareness. Or they just don't care. Are you sure you're that infallible? I think I have some good qualities I just hate what I did