Venting I love him but I don't think he'll love me

[ilovescottishfolds]

I'm in love with my ex's friend and I know that he wouldn't like me because "bros over hoes". I cant express how infatuated I am with him, because of this, the idea of not being able to have him makes me want to die. He's moving away in June and then I might not ever talk to him ever again. I wish it didn't have to be this way. I at least want him in my life but I have no idea how to keep him in my life. I am closer to my ex than I am to him so I could never tell him how I truly feel, I don't think he would understand. All I can do now is ponder and cut and maybe the pain will go away.