Her love is the only thing that could stop me but she doesnt give a shit about me anymore
i don't know if this helps or not. But there was a boy i sort of was falling in love with. i felt the fireworks literally every time we were in the same room. He was so nice to me. Literally never met a person like that ever, and haven't since then. We weren't in a relationship, and he didnt even know I liked him. I had to fight to control myself because God knows I wanted to be around him as much as possible amd literally every opportunity. But sadly , he passed away in 2017 from a suicide...I was suicidal already before then and was planning to do it before him. I always wonder if we could have actually made something because I realize now the similar problems we had/have.
My point is, I don't know what hurts more: seeing the one you love die and wondering what if for the rest of your life, or seeing that person walk out of your life. Atleast you can still watch over them from a distance...and see them grow and go through life. *tears* He's only going to be stuck at 20 years old for the rest of my life as I continue to get older. sigh... people like that are like winning the lottery. But no one said you cant win more than once.
I mean it's cliche and I don't mean to get your hopes up or anything, but peoplecan change. Even us. If you can and have motivation to, if I was in your shoes , I would just try and become the best possible version of myself. And who knows, maybe someonw with those same traits and even more, will notice that and will come into your life.