I know this is a common question but how do you get over that fear of death?

[NoMoreSanity]

I'm not afraid that SOME DAY I will die, I've accepted that. And sometimes I don't feel scared and it's comforting to think about death. But when I genuinely start thinking about cbt, like actually, I get anxious. The idea of just not existing is odd to me. I know it's good for me and the logical thing to do, but I'm so use to "existing" that it just feels wrong. I'm not saying non existence is wrong, simply that it's hard to imagine, just going to sleep and never waking up, what's that like? Maybe I'm not far gone enough, maybe some part of me still thinks life is good (even though I heavily align with philosophical pessimistic ideas ). Life sucks, then sometimes it sucks a lot less. Then I'm reminded of the world's evil and want to die, but then I don't. Any suggestions? And please don't suggest me to "expose yourself to the cruelty" I already know how fucked it is.

 

[Freebandzgang]

To be honest, ive never felt like this. However I imagine it to be what it was like before you were born. Literal nothingness. You didnt experience anything at all for 13.8 billion years and then all of a sudden you have a conscious brain and everything. Life is just what you make of it.

 

[ventingfrustrations]

To be honest, ive never felt like this. However I imagine it to be what it was like before you were born. Literal nothingness. You didnt experience anything at all for 13.8 billion years and then all of a sudden you have a conscious brain and everything. Life is just what you make of it.

Yeah as a fellow guy who believes this I agree that it would be like just gone nothingness but I do think it would be funny if I got isakaid into another world and that's what happens when you die
Hopefully the kind with slight amnesia where you forget most of your life

 

[NoMoreSanity]

To be honest, ive never felt like this. However I imagine it to be what it was like before you were born. Literal nothingness. You didnt experience anything at all for 13.8 billion years and then all of a sudden you have a conscious brain and everything. Life is just what you make of it.

But that's hard to imagine for my monkey brain. That's why it's somewhat scary

 

[BeijaFlor]

well... ( and i'm *not* advocating for any substance use ), the way it happened for me was through psychadelic experiences, in my case ayahuasca and shrooms.

but... its not that the fear went away, its more like... you get this feeling of oness with everything so, lots of people report reduced anxiety and fear of death afterwards, theres alot of videos and documentaries on this topic, on especialised clinics that deal with people with terminal illness / old age and such

altho of course, each experience is very personal and individual...

 

[galaxid]

But that's hard to imagine for my monkey brain. That's why it's somewhat scary

I've been going through that, too. The concept of shutting my eyes and never being able to open them again is terrifying in a way I can't quite explain. Death itself feels like a fantasy, and I'll never be able to find peace with dying if I spend all my time playing make-believe with this idea of ending my life. If I'm going to do it, I need to be fully committed, and I can't do that if I'm afraid of the vast nothingness that follows.

Fortunately, the fear of death stops being a problem once you're dead. T'is what I tell myself, anyway.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

I think for most people (myself included), that fear will always be there, at least in some small way. It comes down to the individual - does that fear outweigh the pain you feel in your life? That's a question we can only answer when the time comes to make our attempt

 

[Dr. Finklestein]

there's a huge unknown element and we're magnificently pre-wired to preserve ourselves…

 

[escape_from_hell]

I'm not afraid that SOME DAY I will die,

That way of thinking about it is how I and I'm sure many others have brushed aside fear of death for years. Wouldn't surprise me if people in nursing homes even kind of brush it aside as SOME DAY, even if they know it's likely to be next week or even tomorrow. Thing is, when that moment really strikes, the manner of death is important. Like a young person suddenly attacked by a vicious pack of animals or struck by a car or in a violent fight to the death, the prospect of death will be fierce and present. They might think "is this it!? noooo, nooooo, not yet!"

So, through careful planning and securing the most peaceful means of fading out possible, at least can control when we face that moment of horror. We won't necessarily be caught with so many loose ends and our pants down, if we so choose. Facing it head on is still gonna be rough, but my whole point is when that SOME DAY comes it's always gonna be rough! You can watch horrendous videos of people dying online, and sometimes they scream like the young person I was describing, you can hear the desperation and the horror of death. Other times, they (at least seem) to be far more stoic. In general, people that know that are about to be executed seem more resigned. I'm sure it still sucks, but through suicide one has basically that same advantage: know when it's coming. Again, with suicide, we get to schedule the conditions to the best of our abilities.

Imagine when young children first grapple with the concept of death. I remember being disturbed by the concept specifically of "not existing" just not making a lot of sense to me as an existing being, maybe similar to what you're feeling. I remember taming the fear back then with thoughts that it was a long way into the future, but still being unsettled with the "but yeah, it's still gonna happen." But eventually got it off my mind because when you're so very young, you still have a full life to try and live, and of course no adult had told me what a nightmare the LIFE part was, notwithstanding the horror of death.

Now that I'm older and closer to death anyway with four decades of misery in the rearview mirror, the thought of not existing is starting to look more appealing than living. But still, it defies the mind, because even when sleeping or some state of unconsciousness, you are not dead--so while tempting to say that's what death is like, we don't know. On the other hand, what happened before birth? We all say nothing, but "matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed." So who knows. What do we know for sure we are looking at when we think to before we are born? Amnesia. Not this current brain functioning. And just like in our own life, day to day, we have amnesia of many details we experienced. Those experiences are gone. One way to look at it is that parts of us are indeed already dead then. Dissipated. Forgotten. And hopefully that's how it is.

 

[NoMoreSanity]

what a nightmare the LIFE part was

Such a sad reality we live in. And I guess you have a point. But it doesn't really help, sorry....

 

[needinghelp]

Some days I feel more ready to ctb than others. Thing is I know I've got to do it soon because there's stuff coming that I just can't face. I feel betrayed on so many levels and my emotions run from rage to deep sadness. At the moment I'm in the rage phase of being let down.

I find peace through researching my method of ctb. I wish I'd had this resource when I made my first attempt about a month back. My next attempt will be my last thigh. I hope.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's the process of death that I'm the most afraid about. Plus, possibly failing an attempt and ending up worse off. I'm hoping I can summon enough fear of more life to get me over the fear of risking death.

As for not existing, I find it more weird than being afraid of it. But then, I also reason that it isn't actually so weird. It didn't feel weird or scary when we hadn't been born. It didn't feel like anything. I suspect death will be the same. Plus, we voluntarily lose consciousness when we sleep. That isn't scary. Hopefully, death won't be either.

It's going to be a relief (if I could feel it) to not exist because existing caries such a high cost.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally fear existence instead, I fear this futile, torturous existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel, existence to me is the problem and just feels like a mistake, I'd be so relieved to never exist ever again, non-existence is all I hope for and simply just existing is enough to make me wish for death. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[NoMoreSanity]

It's the process of death that I'm the most afraid about. Plus, possibly failing an attempt and ending up worse off. I'm hoping I can summon enough fear of more life to get me over the fear of risking death.

As for not existing, I find it more weird than being afraid of it. But then, I also reason that it isn't actually so weird. It didn't feel weird or scary when we hadn't been born. It didn't feel like anything. I suspect death will be the same. Plus, we voluntarily lose consciousness when we sleep. That isn't scary. Hopefully, death won't be either.

It's going to be a relief (if I could feel it) to not exist because existing caries such a high cost.

Guess I'm just use to existing, if that makes sense. I know existence is worng but that's the issue. Maybe I haven't suffered enough yet to be rational about it.

 

[jay_y]

But eventually got it off my mind because when you're so very young, you still have a full life to try and live, and of course no adult had told me what a nightmare the LIFE part was, notwithstanding the horror of death.

I am only 20, have an incurable, unberable condition, caused by a very rare reaction to psych meds. I am in unbearable pain in my whole body caused by continuous involuntary muscle contractions. I want to live but I am not allowed anymore, I started loosing my sanity because of the pain. I am at loss at how to make peace with dying even if I know that I have to die. I can't even say goodbyes to the things that I loved because it hurts too much knowing that I have lost a full life of experiences because I trusted some doctors. I had so many things I wanted to do. Now I am left stuck in bed writhing and screaming in agony. I wish I could just disappear without being aware. How is a person that is barely an adult make peace with this inevitable scenario? I am incredibly scared of the other side but I simply cannot exist with this condition. Before these drugs were invented this wasn't even possible, this is completely incompatible with life. Is like I am a failed lab experiment that was discarded.

 

[bananaolympus]

I think once you fear life more than death it becomes easier, having an open minded about a possible afterlife could also help treat death as it is the biggest mystery

 

[MatthewLawson12]

I'm not afraid that SOME DAY I will die, I've accepted that. And sometimes I don't feel scared and it's comforting to think about death. But when I genuinely start thinking about cbt, like actually, I get anxious. The idea of just not existing is odd to me. I know it's good for me and the logical thing to do, but I'm so use to "existing" that it just feels wrong. I'm not saying non existence is wrong, simply that it's hard to imagine, just going to sleep and never waking up, what's that like? Maybe I'm not far gone enough, maybe some part of me still thinks life is good (even though I heavily align with philosophical pessimistic ideas ). Life sucks, then sometimes it sucks a lot less. Then I'm reminded of the world's evil and want to die, but then I don't. Any suggestions? And please don't suggest me to "expose yourself to the cruelty" I already know how fucked it is.

If you're struggling with the fear of death and the concept of non-existence, you might find peace in exploring deeper spiritual and philosophical perspectives. I was in a similar place a few months ago, questioning everything and feeling lost. What helped me was studying Islam and doing an in-depth study of Quranic verses. The understanding I gained provided a sense of purpose and clarity about life and death. I also found a free course on Simply Islam, which helped me a lot. Maybe looking into it could bring you the same comfort and answers.

 

[AreWeWinning]

I'm not afraid that SOME DAY I will die, I've accepted that. And sometimes I don't feel scared and it's comforting to think about death. But when I genuinely start thinking about cbt, like actually, I get anxious. The idea of just not existing is odd to me. I know it's good for me and the logical thing to do, but I'm so use to "existing" that it just feels wrong. I'm not saying non existence is wrong, simply that it's hard to imagine, just going to sleep and never waking up, what's that like? Maybe I'm not far gone enough, maybe some part of me still thinks life is good (even though I heavily align with philosophical pessimistic ideas ). Life sucks, then sometimes it sucks a lot less. Then I'm reminded of the world's evil and want to die, but then I don't. Any suggestions? And please don't suggest me to "expose yourself to the cruelty" I already know how fucked it is.

But that's hard to imagine for my monkey brain. That's why it's somewhat scary

Fear of the unknown is one of the worst fears. And death is an unknown. It's unimaginable.

The way I look at it is this: It's not worth to think about it. The best possible approach is to shut any of these thoughts down. If it's an unknown, which it is, then that's why. If there is really nothingness, then that's why. It won't be our concern anymore, because there won't be an experience. Yes, our "monkey brain" can't comprehend it. So why even try...

My approach is to look only as far as I'm alive. My concern is up to the point I jump. What comes after? I just don't think about that. Simple as that. All my decisions must, and can only be made based on this life. Do I want to continue it or not.

And on the thought of being "used to existing", and "still thinking life is good", the same approach applies. I have realised that I just have to stop thinking. I still find life interesting, and colorful, and engaging, even enjoyable at times. But If I want to be out of here, then I just have to stop. Stop doing stuff, stop all activities, stop even thinking. Wind down, and eventually just go and die. At the end of the day, that's what death is. It means stopping all activities. It's weird and f@ck#d up, but I can't think of a better way.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I am only 20, have an incurable, unberable condition, caused by a very rare reaction to psych meds. I am in unbearable pain in my whole body caused by continuous involuntary muscle contractions. I want to live but I am not allowed anymore, I started loosing my sanity because of the pain. I am at loss at how to make peace with dying even if I know that I have to die. I can't even say goodbyes to the things that I loved because it hurts too much knowing that I have lost a full life of experiences because I trusted some doctors. I had so many things I wanted to do. Now I am left stuck in bed writhing and screaming in agony. I wish I could just disappear without being aware. How is a person that is barely an adult make peace with this inevitable scenario? I am incredibly scared of the other side but I simply cannot exist with this condition. Before these drugs were invented this wasn't even possible, this is completely incompatible with life. Is like I am a failed lab experiment that was discarded.

the extremely horrible thing that happened to me got me to hate life because it's part of life. if i hadn't been born or wasn't existing now that wouldn't have happened. nothing can hurt me if i don't exist . no suffering no pain no problems no bad memories. so non-existence is the only perfection. i look at it as the horrible thing that happened to me was caused by life . so it's all part of the same evil.the things i got programmed to to think i love were bait for the most extreme torture. the pleasure addictions "the things i think i love" waste my precious time i could be using to get my suicide method ready to go.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I have no suggestions. I guess I'm tired of it all. Of thinking about it. Of caring at all. I just plain do not care. Whatever happens, it's just.. whatever. For me, it's hard to fear what I don't care about. I don't know why but I still feel obligated to do certain tasks in life and that's why I'm still here, for now.

 

[escape_from_hell]

I am only 20, have an incurable, unberable condition, caused by a very rare reaction to psych meds. I am in unbearable pain in my whole body caused by continuous involuntary muscle contractions. I want to live but I am not allowed anymore, I started loosing my sanity because of the pain. I am at loss at how to make peace with dying even if I know that I have to die. I can't even say goodbyes to the things that I loved because it hurts too much knowing that I have lost a full life of experiences because I trusted some doctors. I had so many things I wanted to do. Now I am left stuck in bed writhing and screaming in agony. I wish I could just disappear without being aware. How is a person that is barely an adult make peace with this inevitable scenario? I am incredibly scared of the other side but I simply cannot exist with this condition. Before these drugs were invented this wasn't even possible, this is completely incompatible with life. Is like I am a failed lab experiment that was discarded.

It is very sad to read what has happened to you due to careless one-size-fits-all modern medical practices.
It sounds like you very much still want to live. This is natural for a person so young. First, how certain are you that you are doomed by this condition? Has it been confirmed that there was a specific reaction that has rendered you in this state without plausible treatment from several medical professionals with MDs outside the field of psychiatry? I don't know the story but consider that healing from severe physical traumas can take long periods of time, and the brain and nervous system are no exceptions. It completely depends on what exactly happened, but if you are not done with life you should give yourself the best chance by exploring your options.

Most, but not all, of the people on this forum are not completely at peace with the inevitable. Most living humans that seem to be enjoying and loving every moment in the day to day? Likely even less at peace with the inevitable. That's what I mean--they get it off their mind and just live. People with guns in their mouths are surprised at a physical inability to pull the trigger, battling their own minds and bodies. Coming to peace with it is NOT easy and feeling like you have unfinished business makes it worse. My own fear manifests as giving me extreme difficulty in making the preparations, i.e. getting rid of everything I own, consolidating money to single account for family member, pre-paying cremation cost or repatriation of remains from foreign country since it looks like they force those of us with a specific chosen method to go overseas, that type of thing--I have been struggling to complete these basic tasks for about 2 years now, because some part of my subconscious is sabotaging and attacking me and urging me to keep suffering.

Death is unknowable and incomprehensible for the living mind. By being a living mind, we are inherently unfamiliar with not living. The only comfort strategies I have to offer are what I mentioned in the first post:

1. Do you remember being born? Every detail? Everything you consciously experienced in life, can you remember? Even those with photographic memory, are there ANY moments that slip through the cracks and cannot be remembered without basically reimagining it or otherwise compromising the memory? Those lost memories were your real, living moments. And they have slipped away. Gone. Forever. A real part of you is already dead. I'm not sure how else to word or explain this but it seems not to resonate with very many people. For me it's an important point. We don't know for sure but the hope is that is exactly how it is: inaccessible nothingness. In a word? Gone.

2. Whether the life is going to be worth it, kickass and wonderful is different for each person. I cannot in good conscience tell someone half my age that life will definitely be shit and is not worth it. MY life was not, due to my genetics and so on, probably very few life scenarios would suit me, and my default baseline state is considerably more anxious, depressed, miserable, antsy, lost than the average human being--nature does not care but probably used these as motivational survival tools for some of my ancestors. But consider that it is inevitable no matter what. If we live an awesome, lovely happy life...death is still coming eventually. Even if biotechnology enables humans to live for millions of years in a state of pure ecstasy, it's likely at some point some cosmic event will take them out. If you are able to do all those things you want to do, the day death comes will still be an unwelcome and horrific confrontation--maybe even more so as it is there to render all your accomplishments and joy nothing but a sick joke, as opposed to many of us here that are hoping it saves us from our failures and misery.

The 80 year old on the death bed is just as helpless and uncomfortable. The only advantage they have over the youngster is TELLING themselves they had a long, fulfilled life. Which is a technique, providing some kind of anxiolysis. Who actually determines that life was great? Only them. It may have been cleaning toilets as a peasant for 80 years with severe back pain, while all heir peers may have been experiencing a nonstop bacchanalia in that timeframe. They may have been cheated without even knowing it. FOMO they didn't even know about. But they are lucky to confront the end and come to terms with it thanks to their own experiences and internal narrative. If you really feel death is inevitable, just know that you did everything you could. That you really explored your options and tried. That's as best as we can do. That and keeping in mind the brain and mind can be modified with drugs. I hate to mention that since drugs put you in the position you are in, but me, being the coward I am, will rely on anti-anxiety meds and opioids and alcohol to face that final moment, and trick myself into being just as smugly satisfied with my shit time on earth as the accomplished elderly one on a death bed surrounded by loved ones.

 

[grapevoid]

My curiosity is bigger than my fear. I don't know how else to explain it. suffering aside, I'm not afraid to die because either I'll be gone or I'll finally see what's on the other side. Both seem much more intriguing than living this way.

 

[NoMoreSanity]

the extremely horrible thing that happened to me got me to hate life because it's part of life. if i hadn't been born or wasn't existing now that wouldn't have happened. nothing can hurt me if i don't exist . no suffering no pain no problems no bad memories. so non-existence is the only perfection. i look at it as the horrible thing that happened to me was caused by life . so it's all part of the same evil.the things i got programmed to to think i love were bait for the most extreme torture. the pleasure addictions "the things i think i love" waste my precious time i could be using to get my suicide method ready to go.

this makes it worse.... I know I shouldn't enjoy shit and have to work on getting out. But I'm a selfish human who is, like you said addicted, and I don't want to accept that fact but I must. How did you accept it