Venting I keep telling people and I hate myself for it

[SorryEveryone2]

I've made the mistake of letting it slip out that I want to CTB a lot and it's done nothing but worry people and put me in a worse situation than I was before. I don't know why I keep doing this and I don't want to worry people. Every time I do it I just see people either get worried or tired. It's to the point where some people are just like "don't do it," and leave it at that. I hate myself so much and I wish I could just CTB so I can stop worrying people with how I am. I can't CTB easily and without pain though, so I'm stuck here just making everything worse for myself and those around me.

 

[Crinia99]

I use to tell people I wanted to CBT, but that was when I didn't really want to CBT but thought I did. I just wanted my miserable existence and circumstances to end. Now that I really do want to CBT, I no longer feel any need to tell people.

 

[judal97]

yeah thats why a avoid telling it to my family,they would probably put me in a psych ward in no time and probably end up worse than now
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-psych-ward-5217423

 

[FallFromGrace]

I'm in the same boat. Opening up to my best friend was one of my biggest mistakes. Now he's super worried about me, which only serves to cause him misery. Same deal goes for my sister. Shit, I even regret telling my therapist, because I refuse to tell her my plan, thereby preventing her from doing anything about it. It feels like I'm using it as a weapon to hurt people, but really I'm just trying to talk about it with people I trust because I feel so fucking alone. It's a tough part of CTB'ing being as taboo as it is.

 

[SlyEden]

I've made the mistake of letting it slip out that I want to CTB a lot and it's done nothing but worry people and put me in a worse situation than I was before. I don't know why I keep doing this and I don't want to worry people. Every time I do it I just see people either get worried or tired. It's to the point where some people are just like "don't do it," and leave it at that. I hate myself so much and I wish I could just CTB so I can stop worrying people with how I am. I can't CTB easily and without pain though, so I'm stuck here just making everything worse for myself and those around

It's okay. I think most people have been in the same situation as you. It's hard when people say that we should openly talk about ctb with the people we love in order to get it off our chests, or whatnot. But most of the time that doesn't do anything helpful other than construe their opinions of you, in a more negative manner. I don't like opening up to people about my thoughts because I don't want people to look at me as if I'm crazy. We are all just deeply hurt.

 

[UKscotty]

Telling people means you are looking for help and support, there is nothing wrong with that.

Remember that CTB is the last resort, when all avenues of recovery have failed. Maybe try the recovery section on here for better advice?