hopelesscallgirl
Member
- Feb 5, 2022
- 16
I don't know why I keep making excuses to not ctb. I keep telling myself how I can have this amazing bright future with safety and security. I feel like I'm imagining some sort of fairy tale that doesn't exist. I really wanted to help people and make this world a better place, however most of the time there's not much I can do. This world is honestly a very horrible place and my life is crazy. In the past I've been kicked out, I was once technically homeless and living out of airbnbs. Ive been kidnapped before and I've been sexually assaulted multiple times. It keeps happening to me and I don't think I'll ever have safety and security in my life, everything is always crazy and I'm always in some sort of crisis. I'm so tired of fighting, every day is a new battle that I don't want to fight. I'm getting closer and closer to ctb every day and at this point I feel it is inevitable. I've been through so much truama and had multiple attempts. sometimes I've decided against it and other times I was saved by either my friends or my bf. I just want to be at peace where nothing or no one can hurt me.