Venting I keep falling down

[Chalken]

No matter how hard I try, no matter how much effort I put in trying to get better, my brain always kicks me down. Meds don't do anything but give me more energy. Talking to a psych doesn't do shit.

"You're worthless", "everyone hates you", "you deserve to suffer", "you're a waste of space", "you're subhuman trash". These thoughts dominate my mind and they take over my life every single day from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. Why live when I see no point in life and everything feels bleak? I'm at the point where I have to plan for my future, plan for my career, but when I try to look at my future, I see nothing but my body lying in a coffin. How do people do this "life" thing? I've been suffering from depression for a few years and social anxiety for my whole life and I just don't see it getting better. I've been progressingly getting worse. I wish I had never been born so I could've been saved from this hell.

Thanks for whoever reads this. I just feel so alone, even though I have a supporting family. The only reasons I'm still here are that I don't want to hurt them and I fear the possibility of failing and becoming a vegetable. I feel so trapped, torn between life and death.

 

[Alan James]

"You're worthless", "everyone hates you", "you deserve to suffer", "you're a waste of space", "you're subhuman trash".

This exactly what i think about myself.

I wish I had never been born

I also would not like to be born. It was as if I was sent to prison, I was trapped: I could not live and I could not die - what should I do? My parents had bad genes, diseases that are transmitted through genes and they knew about it, they live in povetry, they lived in a third world country, they alcoholics and still they gave birth to childrens. It's disgusting, people (most) are worse than animals: they don't even try to control their instincts and desires, they even don't have such an idea or thought, they just fuck like wild monkeys and breed.

How do people do this "life" thing?

They do not feel what we feel. They don't understand us and are not able to understand (and many don't want to try to understand - they don't care).

 

[Chalken]

This exactly what i think about myself.



I also would not like to be born. It was as if I was sent to prison, I was trapped: I could not live and I could not die - what should I do? My parents had bad genes, diseases that are transmitted through genes and they knew about it, they live in povetry, they lived in a third world country, they alcoholics and still they gave birth to childrens. It's disgusting, people (most) are worse than animals: they don't even try to control their instincts and desires, they even don't have such an idea or thought, they just fuck like wild monkeys and breed.



They do not feel what we feel. They don't understand us and are not able to understand (and many don't want to try to understand - they don't care).

I'm sorry that your parents are like that. I guess I'm lucky to have good parents, but at the same time I wish I didn't, just so I could kill myself without guilt.

I just feel like it is simply selfish and inconsiderate to create new life when there is so much suffering in this world and people are in pain daily all around the world. This philosophy which states that procreating is morally wrong is called antinatalism.