goodjunkies
Member
- Mar 7, 2024
- 19
For the last four years of my life, my only wish has been to be happy. I just want to be happy. I was at one point and now I feel so trapped by my own self i don't understand why i feel this way. It hurts so bad. It hurts knowing that younger me felt this same hopelessness. It hurts knowing that a person's only wish would be to be happy? Others of more healthy thinking would be so quick to wish for more superficial, fleeting things, maybe even an item, rather than having a thought process like mine? I look at my healthier roommates and think to myself how one could possibly be that happy. I wonder how it feels to think that way, to not wake up every morning dreading i hadn't. Go to bed at night without thinking about ending it all. I know i can come off especially obnoxious and completely unreasonable as i live the best life i could ever ask for, a loving family, amazing friends, attending a good school, living under a roof and without socioeconomic stressors, yet im wailing about my emotional state?? There are much more people dealing with actual issues, people who don't even have loving parents or even parents at all. Yet, i cannot change the way I feel about living. I want to be gone i am so tired of going on. I really am so tired
