Venting I JUST WANT THE SUFFERING TO END

[AngelTear]

I CAN'T EVEN WAKE UP IN PEACE WITHOUT FEELING UPSET

I WANT THIS NIGHTMARE TO BE OVER

FUCKING SHITHEAD MY PARENTS ARE

THEY'RE THE ONES PUTTING ME THROUGH THIS SHIT

BUT THEY STILL ACT COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS AND IGNORANT

WHEN I GET UPSET THEY JUST THINK I'M FUCKING CRAZY OR IT'S NOT THAT BAD

IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MUCH I CRY OR SCREAM

NOTHING CHANGES

NOTHING HELPS

THEY DO NOTHINGS

THEY SHOULD'VE NEVER BEEN PARENTS

I WISH THEY WERE NEVER MY PARENTS

OH AND THEY'LL SAY THEY FED ME, CLOTHED ME, GAVE ME ALL THE NECESSITIES

YEAH LIKE A PARENT IS SUPPOSED TO DUMBASS!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT I WAS BORN!!!

AND WHAT ABOUT NOW?? WHAT ABOUT THE SHIT YOU'RE PUTTING ME THROUGH NOW??!!!

DOES IT NOT COUNT BECAUSE I'M AND ADULT?? DOES IT NOT COUNT BECAUSE I DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL??

YOUR OTHER CHILD GOT YOU LIVE WITH YOU UNTIL HE WAS IN HIS 30S, GOT A JOB, AND GOT MARRIED

THEN YOU JUST GAVE UP ON ME- YOU'RE THE FUCKING FAULT WHY I'M THE WAY I AM!!!

FUCK YOU!!

I WANT TO SLIT MY THROAT, MY WRISTS, JUST TO MAKE THE PAIN INSIDE STOP-I KNOW IT'S NOT THE BEST METHOD, I'M NOT DOING IT TO KILL MYSELF JUST TO BE NUMB FOR A WHILE

I WANT IT TO STOP

I CAN'T EVEN CRY BECAUSE I KNOW IT DOES NOTHING

NO MATTER WHAT I DO IT CHANGES NOTHING

I'M TRAPPED, THE ONLY ESCAPE IS DEATH

 

[Macedonian1987]

I CAN'T EVEN WAKE UP IN PEACE WITHOUT FEELING UPSET

I WANT THIS NIGHTMARE TO BE OVER

FUCKING SHITHEAD MY PARENTS ARE

THEY'RE THE ONES PUTTING ME THROUGH THIS SHIT

BUT THEY STILL ACT COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS AND IGNORANT

WHEN I GET UPSET THEY JUST THINK I'M FUCKING CRAZY OR IT'S NOT THAT BAD

IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MUCH I CRY OR SCREAM

NOTHING CHANGES

NOTHING HELPS

THEY DO NOTHINGS

THEY SHOULD'VE NEVER BEEN PARENTS

I WISH THEY WERE NEVER MY PARENTS

OH AND THEY'LL SAY THEY FED ME, CLOTHED ME, GAVE ME ALL THE NECESSITIES

YEAH LIKE A PARENT IS SUPPOSED TO DUMBASS!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT I WAS BORN!!!

AND WHAT ABOUT NOW?? WHAT ABOUT THE SHIT YOU'RE PUTTING ME THROUGH NOW??!!!

DOES IT NOT COUNT BECAUSE I'M AND ADULT?? DOES IT NOT COUNT BECAUSE I DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL??

YOUR OTHER CHILD GOT YOU LIVE WITH YOU UNTIL HE WAS IN HIS 30S, GOT A JOB, AND GOT MARRIED

THEN YOU JUST GAVE UP ON ME- YOU'RE THE FUCKING FAULT WHY I'M THE WAY I AM!!!

FUCK YOU!!

I WANT TO SLIT MY THROAT, MY WRISTS, JUST TO MAKE THE PAIN INSIDE STOP-I KNOW IT'S NOT THE BEST METHOD, I'M NOT DOING IT TO KILL MYSELF JUST TO BE NUMB FOR A WHILE

I WANT IT TO STOP

I CAN'T EVEN CRY BECAUSE I KNOW IT DOES NOTHING

NO MATTER WHAT I DO IT CHANGES NOTHING

I'M TRAPPED, THE ONLY ESCAPE IS DEATH

I don't want to die. Like you I also want the suffering part to end. Unlike some people here, believe it or not i love life. But i cannot live for much longer with this chronic pain and being avoided by all like i have the plague only because I have asperger's

 

[AngelTear]

I don't want to die. Like you I also want the suffering part to end. Unlike some people here, believe it or not i love life. But i cannot live for much longer with this chronic pain and being avoided by all like i have the plague only because I have asperger's

I want to die though
But the problem is I still have certain desires that I probably will not achieve because of this
I never wanted to live that long nor did I ever particularly love life and I hate people
I just wanted a modicum of happiness before my final moments
But happiness is too much to ask for, I guess more like satisfaction