Venting I just want someone to love me

[erdbeeren]

Everyone in my life is selfish and fake. I am talked about behind my back and insulted. The only people who show some care are therapists (because they are paid to do so).

I wish I could just have one positive relationship. Things to bond over with no harsh judgment or facades. Sure, it's nearly impossible to get along all the time, but the good times should greatly outweigh the bad.

But that is not going to come into fruition. People have expressed their general disdain for a socially inept mf like myself. Others think I'm rude, retarded (derogatory sense), boring, and look like a psycho (whatever that's supposed to mean). I don't want to befriend individuals who are so depraved, but I still long for human connection since it's ingrained into our dna.

I've also tried making friends online which thankfully has been somewhat more successful. Though, most of these successes happened years ago so I have no meaningful relationships with anyone as of now. People would interact with the shy, but imaginative child I grew from, but not the reclusive, paranoid adult I'm becoming.

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people really are so awful and can make our lives so much worse. I'm sorry that you have had to deal with people like that. I feel like overall, people can be very disappointing and can let us down. It is such a cruel and unfair world that we live in. I wish you the best.

 

[CommitSudoku]

whoaaaa I just wanna be wanna be loved-

I can relate on having more success online than ever in person, I have no idea how to do in person relationships. I work in retail part time and that's the closest to "irl friends" I can have - I sometimes can manage to greet my coworkers with "hello" and then make small talk... about work usually. I do highly value online relationships, but then I don't know if there's even any point for me to have them and then idk, I'll mess it up eventually. Social anxiety sucks.

I'm sorry you've had such a hard time with people and run in to a lot who didn't treat you well. I don't judge anyone for being a reclusive, paranoid adult, seeing as that's what I am, but at the same time I'm just another person online. I hope you can find positive relationships again, or else find ways to enjoy the time alone as best you can. That's a great skill to have really.

As for the title of this post... what is love to you? I was just curious about that.

 

[erdbeeren]

Love to me is someone who is understanding first and foremost. Love is someone who is loyal. Love between me and another is giving and receiving affection both ways. Love is

 

[Chiisai]

I remember the stories my uni friends told me. They were a group of Psych and social sciences major and often times hold like a covert research/charity work on their spare time and that is to visit red light districts and hire sex workers to have dinner or movies with them and then letting them talk about their life as part of the interview/research and thats it. My friends said that most of their "interviewees" genuinely appreciated it as it felt like they were treated as normal human beings and just like any ordinary profession and they were generally surprised at first as they thought it would be just the "usual" after that. Although some of the other workers took advantage of that like asking gifts, others were genuinely appreciating it and most of all, my friends confessed that they also learned, by interacting with them, how to socialize.

 

[Girl-shaped Wound]

I remember the stories my uni friends told me. They were a group of Psych and social studies major and often times hold like a covert research/charity work on their spare time and that is to visit red light districts and hire sex workers to have dinner or movies with them and then letting them talk about their life as part of the interview/research and thats it. My friends said that most of their "interviewees" genuinely appreciated it as it felt like they were treated as normal human beings and just like any ordinary profession and they were generally surprised at first as they thought it would be just the "usual" after that. Although some of the other workers took advantage of that like asking gifts, others were genuinely appreciating it and most of all, my friends confessed that they also learned, by interacting with them, how to socialize.

That's fucking heartbreaking, but doesn't surprise me. Most sex workers (aka women) aren't doing it by choice. Even if they somehow do, they end up dehumanized just the same.

 

[Chiisai]

That's fucking heartbreaking, but doesn't surprise me. Most sex workers (aka women) aren't doing it by choice. Even if they somehow do, they end up dehumanized just the same.

True. My friends said they sometimes hire guys too and just hangout like bros. Who doesnt want to get paid just to hangout?

 

[Girl-shaped Wound]

True. My friends said they sometimes hire guys too and just hangout like bros. Who doesnt want to get paid just to hangout?

You know, would genuinely do it too! If only I had a trusted sex worker (there is always a chance of being assaulted as a woman) and money, obviously. I totally could hire a woman though, it could be so nice for both of us. Everyone needs some human connection.

 

[S like suicide]

I wish I could just have one positive relationship. Things to bond over with no harsh judgment or facades. Sure, it's nearly impossible to get along all the time, but the good times should greatly outweigh the bad.

I still long for human connection since it's ingrained into our dna.

I've also tried making friends online which thankfully has been somewhat more successful. Though, most of these successes happened years ago so I have no meaningful relationships with anyone as of now. People would interact with the shy, but imaginative child I grew from, but not the reclusive, paranoid adult I'm becoming.

I relate with this so much.i just want someone to love me too...