Thank you for the kind words, this means a lot, and I'm sorry for taking so much time to respond.
I just don't know what type of job would be suitable for me. I genuinely don't see a future for myself. All I can do is have good grades and see what I can do from here. I live in Western Europe, and unlike the countries you mentioned earlier (China, India) there's no overpopulation so there shouldn't even be a problem with overcompetitiveness... except my country is very elitist. I'm heading towards the end of high school (I'm old enough to post here) and at some point we'll have to submit our report cards to "a national platform for admission to 1st year courses in the first cycle of higher education" (don't know how else to translate it). That means everything will be automated and people whose performance at school wasn't great (like me, I went from having a 4.0 GPA in my first trimester to a significantly worse one in this current trimester) will be overlooked.
I have no one to blame but myself for this, it's my fault, but I'm so worried about the future. I'm tired of being stunted when it comes to social interactions (and generally having a pretty unpleasant personality, being shy and acting like someone I'm not doesn't help) and just feeling stuck. I've been feeling this way for years and it's hard not to feel defeatist at this point, it's my default state of mind. I see classmates who are incredibly confident and I can't help but wonder where the hell does that come from? I'm even considering using psilocybin or some other psychedelic just to see if it changes something in me, since therapy didn't seem to work. Once again thank you for taking the time to respond to my message :)
I'm also from western europe.
I understand the problem with the limited possibilities that you could get to enter universities, depending on your marks.
These rules in europe vary a lot from country to country, and from university to university.
In my country 20 years ago you could apply to several universities, take the entry test and see which one admitted you.
I've also seen people studying in a different country because they were not admitted in their own country.
I had a colleague in my same company that had studied in a technical school and he joined as undergraduate (no university degree) as a working student. This was in a region with a very large corporate and no university that prepared students for that job. So it was rather easy to get in, as undergraduate or working student.
He had the luck that, once in my group, he picked up the knowledge directly on the job from professionists; he was then introduced to professors of an university and he managed to get the phd with help and recommendations from the company.
This is the way of the students that manage to get introduced to the right people at the right time.
It depends what you are studying and what your ambitions for your future are.
Also: I remember that entry exams for universities in my country had a score that depended both on your marks at graduation, but also on a test.
If you don't pass the test on one year, you can either: try another university with courses that are similar to the one you are interested in; then try to change university on the next year.
Or: retake the entry test on the next year, after having studied properly for it for 1 year.
My life hasn't been great (obviously, or I wouldn't be here). I made some bad choices, met some bad people, and had some bad luck. That doesn't mean things couldn't have turned out differently. There's probably something wrong with my brain and I probably would have gone through my life suicidal anyway, but I know there were moments when I felt like I could really make it, and if it wasn't for one small thing, I probably would have.
so sad; I see so much of my story in these lines..