Venting I just want it all to stop

[Freedom Believer]

Why did I have to be me? These fucking expectations of being some computer genius making a 6-figure salary and going to some fancy university that costs an arm and a leg. And where will that take me? To some miserable job to work 5 days a week and work in an endless cycle until I get old. I want it all to stop. I want to go back to when I was a kid. When I had no expectations and the false idea that the adult life is just as fun and exciting. I wish I had a maternal figure to hug and tell me that "everything will be okay" but all I have is the bed in my room and YouTube videos to try and help calm me down and try to make me laugh. Even those are starting to fail. I'm going to attempt to CTB tomorrow, but I'll probably fail again and delay it again because I'm a fucking failure. I want it all to stop.

 

[jgm63]

Sorry to hear of your continued struggles....
All I can say is that if you're certain that you want to CTB, then your best bet is simply to research and plan well, and follow the plans/regimes, etc, as closely as you can....

 

[Freedom Believer]

Sorry to hear of your continued struggles....
All I can say is that if you're certain that you want to CTB, then your best bet is simply to research and plan well, and follow the plans/regimes, etc, as closely as you can....

I will do my best. Thank you.

 

[FreedomInDeath]

Life is hell, most people are just numb to it. Hope you find peace somehow.

 

[Freedom Believer]

Life is hell, most people are just numb to it. Hope you find peace somehow.

If I'm lucky I can CTB without pain. Either I wake up in some other dimension or I'm asleep except without the dreams or waking up. Either situation is fine with me.

 

[strawberrygirl]

You are not alone.. Other than your bed, Youtube videos ( things that wouldn't betray or judge you ), you have us who understands that life is not a bed of roses. Positives are always fleeting, aren't there.. Achievements like jobs and grades only serves to bring temporary pride to the self, to parents.. Looking at the world in a life and death point of view, those things people pride their lives on are so small....

Hugs to you.

 

[domedune]

I'm so sorry. Stress is a bitch and loneliness is a cancer.

 

[Freedom Believer]

You are not alone.. Other than your bed, Youtube videos ( things that wouldn't betray or judge you ), you have us who understands that life is not a bed of roses. Positives are always fleeting, aren't there.. Achievements like jobs and grades only serves to bring temporary pride to the self, to parents.. Looking at the world in a life and death point of view, those things people pride their lives on are so small....

Hugs to you.

This community has been nothing more than loving and kind to me ever since I joined. I thank you for the love.

I'm so sorry. Stress is a bitch and loneliness is a cancer.

Both things suck.

 

[Skyview]

I too wish you had someone to hug you and tell you it's going to be alright and to tell you to relax and just be yourself with no expectations, a free spirit with boundless love within you to enjoy a life of freedom .
"Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart."

 

[Empty Smile]

Going to school is nothing more than training you to work and pay the government, while you get very little to live on.

 

[Squiddy]

I know how you feel. I also want to go back to when I was a kid with no responsibilities, no mental illness, and not being expected to work

 

[Freedom Believer]

I too wish you had someone to hug you and tell you it's going to be alright and to tell you to relax and just be yourself with no expectations, a free spirit with boundless love within you to enjoy a life of freedom .
"Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart."

Being myself unfortunately would lead me to become homeless.

Going to school is nothing more than training you to work and pay the government, while you get very little to live on.

Exactly.

I know how you feel. I also want to go back to when I was a kid with no responsibilities, no mental illness, and not being expected to work

Yes. I wish I could go back.

 

[Squiddy]

Being myself unfortunately would lead me to become homeless.

Exactly.

Yes. I wish I could go back.

Now, all I can do is wish for something to kill me

 

[Skyview]

Being myself unfortunately would lead me to become homeless.

Exactly.

If you don't follow your fathers wishes you're screwed , hell of a situation to be in ! Is there no way to make your father understand your situation. I think you need to kick him in the balls , unfortunately you'll be homeless if you do.

Now, all I can do is wish for something to kill me

Hey , thought we were still sharing that asteroid ?

 

[Squiddy]

If you don't follow your fathers wishes you're screwed , hell of a situation to be in ! Is there no way to make your father understand your situation. I think you need to kick him in the balls , unfortunately you'll be homeless if you do.

Hey , thought we were still sharing that asteroid ?

We are ;)

 

[Skyview]

We are ;)

Don't forget the choc ice cream

 

[Squiddy]

Don't forget the choc ice cream

 

[Freedom Believer]

If you don't follow your fathers wishes you're screwed , hell of a situation to be in ! Is there no way to make your father understand your situation. I think you need to kick him in the balls , unfortunately you'll be homeless if you do.

Hey , thought we were still sharing that asteroid ?

He wouldn't understand, I tried to once and he threw a bunch of insults at me.

 

[Skyview]

He wouldn't understand, I tried to once and he threw a bunch of insults at me.

The pressure some parents invoke on their children can have a detrimental effect, they raise the bar so high which can destroy a person who feels the failure is their fault and now their confidence is broken and then become withdrawn. Just speaking in general terms not saying the above is about you . I think that's why some wish they could go back to their childhood days to enjoy once again carefree happiness.

 

[Freedom Believer]

The pressure some parents invoke on their children can have a detrimental effect, they raise the bar so high which can destroy a person who feels the failure is their fault and now their confidence is broken and then become withdrawn. Just speaking in general terms not saying the above is about you . I think that's why some wish they could go back to their childhood days to enjoy once again carefree happiness.

Good point.