moths
Member
- Mar 7, 2021
- 51
i dont want to hang myself its terrifying but it feels like my only option even though its really not even an option right now all i have is a jump rope which ive been practicing with but i dont trust it or the wooden bar in my closet enough 2 actually go thru with it and even if i had a stronger rope and found a better place to hang it from theres still so many things that could go wrong i just want to overdose on fucking heroin or something and drift peacefully off to sleep and never wake up i dont want to worry about my unconscious body thrashing around and breaking the rope or someone finding me i dont want to end up in a psych ward with even more brain damage than i already have and be completely stripped of my right to privacy monitored 24/7 ive been thinking about ordering something online to overdose on but i live with my mom so ordering controlled substances in the mail is really not a great idea plus theres always a risk of getting in legal trouble which is the last thing i need right now and im just so angry because i didnt ask to be born at the very least i should be allowed to decide how and when i die. if i was guaranteed a peaceful death whenever i wanted i think id stay alive longer id be willing to give life one more chance knowing that was always an option.