Discussion I just wanna be okay [Poem/Poetry Thread]

[JustcallmeChris]

I must confess
I been feeling depressed
so increasingly sad I think my life is a mess
I've got a lot of problems
that I don't know how to solve
at least I think I do
i'm not really sure
it's been really hard looking for a cure
I wish I wasn't so fucking lonely
I wish I wasn't so fucking lonely
I've been searching for happiness
and i've been looking for love
and all i've ever found is just so fucking dumb

they say i'll find it when i'm not looking
but I guarantee that i'll miss it
cuz the signs are all different
and the reality might not fit my depiction
and I may not be handsome
and i may not be great
but god dammit I been searching for love even if I started late
IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR LOVE
SO WHEN AM I GONNA FIND IT
AM I NOT DESERVING OF ANYTHING THAT ISNT GUILT
AND ITS NOT JUST LOVE
I DONT KNOW WHERE IM GOING
DIRECTIONS ARE ILLEGIBLE BUT ITS ALL MY THOUGHTS ARE SHOWING
I FEEL LIKE A COMPASS WITHOUT ANY LETTERS
AND NO ARROWS
AND NO MAGNETS
LIKE A FUCKIN BROKEN PIECE OF SHIT
I JUST WANNA BE OKAY AGAIN
I WANNA KNOW WHERE IM HEADED
I DONT WANNA WRITE MY STORY AND LEAVE IT OPEN ENDED

GOD DAMMIT I JUST WANNA BE OKAY
So i'll lay awake at night
and think to myself
do I really wanna fight
my mind
and myself
just to keep myself from falling
ever deeper into the abyss
that keeps echoing its callings

It's like i'm being pulled
held onto by my ankles
it's scratching at my legs
and leaving cuts that are deeper than the scalpels
of the doctors that I see
hoping that one day they'll figure out what's wrong with me
IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS
SO WHEN AM I GONNA FIND IT
AM I NOT DESERVING OF EVERYTHING I WANT TO GET
AND ITS NOT JUST HAPPINESS
I DONT KNOW WHERE IM GOING
DIRECTIONS ARE ILLEGIBLE BUT ITS ALL MY THOUGHTS ARE SHOWING
I FEEL LIKE A COMPASS WITHOUT ANY LETTERS
AND NO ARROWS
AND NO MAGNETS
LIKE A FUCKIN BROKEN PIECE OF SHIT
I JUST WANNA BE OKAY AGAIN
I WANNA KNOW WHERE IM HEADED
I don't want to write my story just to leave it open ended

I just wanna be okay
I say it every day
hoping in time
I won't have to say it anymore​