Venting I just need to vent. Maybe someone is in a similar situation?

[Queria.Estar.Morto]

I'm 21 and I feel like a weirdo compared to other people my age. I have never had friends, never been in a relationship, never had a job, never done anything normal people do. I live with my parents and they treat my like I'm still a teenager. I feel like I'm wasting my youth and that's really scary.
I have attempted to make friends before, but I feel like I'm not interesting enough and I always "third-wheel" in a group of people, if you know what I mean. I dropped out of college 3 times because of that.
I have tried to hang myself so many times but I don't know how to do it right. I will try to hang myself just one more time, if it doesn't work I will need to resort to a more effective method like jumping in front of a car (yes, I have read the entire hanging megathread and I know all the mechanics involved, but still I can't make myself pass out).
Is anyone in a similar situation?

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Yes i can relate to various aspects of this& im the same age so.

 

[biboty]

Oi, também sou do Brasil e passo por algo semelhante. Minhas amizades sinto que sejam por dó e eu não sei me relacionar, o que ainda me impede de tirar a vida é a falta de dinheiro pois ainda estou desempregado, mas logo irei resolver isso

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

I'm almost 20 and I'm in the same situation. Also no siblings, no cousins my own age, bullied in school from 1st to 8th grade...
Last time I had friends was in 6th grade and our friendship ended over my dumb mistake.

 

[StillWaiting]

Same here. In similar situation. It is so hard to make friends

 

[cantthinkofanickname]

My mother tells me to "act like I'm a normal person" when there are visitors, lol. I never accomplished it though.

 

[lmroch]

My life has never mattered to one single person.

 

[Queria.Estar.Morto]

Oi, também sou do Brasil e passo por algo semelhante. Minhas amizades sinto que sejam por dó e eu não sei me relacionar, o que ainda me impede de tirar a vida é a falta de dinheiro pois ainda estou desempregado, mas logo irei resolver isso

Sinto muito que também esteja na mesma situação. Espero que consiga e dê tudo certo

I'm almost 20 and I'm in the same situation. Also no siblings, no cousins my own age, bullied in school from 1st to 8th grade...
Last time I had friends was in 6th grade and our friendship ended over my dumb mistake.

I have siblings but still I'm very lonely. I've literally never had friends, I don't even know what's like having friends

My mother tells me to "act like I'm a normal person" when there are visitors, lol. I never accomplished it though.

Fortunately I never get visitors.

 

[Pan]

I'm 21 and I feel like a weirdo compared to other people my age. I have never had friends, never been in a relationship, never had a job, never done anything normal people do. I live with my parents and they treat my like I'm still a teenager. I feel like I'm wasting my youth and that's really scary.
I have attempted to make friends before, but I feel like I'm not interesting enough and I always "third-wheel" in a group of people, if you know what I mean. I dropped out of college 3 times because of that.
I have tried to hang myself so many times but I don't know how to do it right. I will try to hang myself just one more time, if it doesn't work I will need to resort to a more effective method like jumping in front of a car (yes, I have read the entire hanging megathread and I know all the mechanics involved, but still I can't make myself pass out).
Is anyone in a similar situation?

Given your knowledge of mechanics involved, why, specifically,haveyoubeen unable to succeed in hanging? That is my choice,which has been described as virtually fool proof, if you have the will to do it.

 

[Pan]

It seems scarcely believable to me that you have'nt mastered the process of full suspension. Have you tried full suspension or just partial suspension? Full suspension is simple enough; gravity and rope does the rest. Although you May be living with others, if you want to hang, I would suggest the shower stall. I base this data on images I have seen. Short of a gun, hanging is #1 in terms of speed and lethality. This is why it is rapidly becoming the method of choice. Unlike partial suspension, there is NO backing out. You are then free to cruise the multiverse.

 

[WhiteEyes]

21 is so very young. I was in a familiar situation in the past, but it's honestly not too late for you. You sound like you're stuck and I think the recovery board could help you out.

 

[Ksab]

21 is so very young. I was in a familiar situation in the past, but it's honestly not too late for you. You sound like you're stuck and I think the recovery board could help you out.

21 is very young?? Then I shouldn't be here at all lol, I'm 18.

 

[Pan]

My decision to opt for full suspension did not come idly, but at the end of a relatively long road of methods. I have investigated partial suspension, poison, drowning, jumping, etc. I don't include by gun because the legal issues make purchase nigh to impossible in Massachusetts. Here, the sheriff has total discretionary power as to whom gets the glock, if you will. Short of that full suspension is relatively quick, neat, cheap and immediate. All you require is a window of time—say, twenty to thirty minutes of privacy.

My life has never mattered to one single person.

But it DOES matter to you. You'll find that that is a step in the right direction. I may not know you, but know THAT I LOVE YOU.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Looking back, I consider the twenties to be the adolescence of adulthood, there is still a lot of awkwardness.

One's brain is not fully formed until 24-26 years old, especially functions like cognitive and risk-taking.

There are some who are successful early on in life, but the most successful people are often those who didn't fit in for a long time. Fitting in is overrated once you finally realize the ones who seem to fit in are cruel and non-introspective. But human interaction, support and belonging are important. If you know your interests, perhaps you can find people with similar interests, and ask them how they fit in so you can have some guidelines. Sometimes we just need someone trustworthy to give us tips we can actually follow.

I recommend the book Boundaries to help change the dynamics of your relationship with your family (and others).

I do not recommend jumping in front of a car. You could survive with serious problems, not to mention the trauma it would cause to the driver and witnesses.

Check out the Resources sticky above the feed. There are a lot of methods listed.

Partial hanging doesn't work for me, either. :)

 

[CarefulWithThatAxe]

I am older but sadly I can relate.

 

[Pan]

Partial hanging never works, in part because you are given easy access to a way out; you simply stand up, that's all. With full suspension, there is no way out. Struggle all you wish; the force of gravity is no longer in your favor. Fortunately, you are dead within twenty minutes, and unconscious within seconds. Bear in mind, however, that there is no turning back once you kick the chair away. A debate appears to fester as to whether pain is felt. Who knows? In fact, compared to a lifetime of pain, who cares?