Venting I just need it to stop

[RdMrk]

I just need the world to slow down so that i can catch up. I feel like I blink my eyes and hours go by. Maybe I could do more with myself if I just had more time. Probably not.

I don't know how I'm going to end it. I don't know how to get SN or anything similar, and the usual suspects cause my Si to kick in. I'm such a goddamned failure. I'm thinking about barricading my self in my dorm and not eating or drinking anything. It will take a while, but maybe it will give me time to say all my goodbyes properly. I just can't do this shit anymore.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Would you like to share a little more about what you've been struggling with? It sounds like life has got you very overwhelmed.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing certainly can be torture and it's very much understandable just wishing to be free from it all. It sounds like you've suffered a lot and it must be really tiring what you have to go through so I hope that you find the freedom that you are searching for. I hate how hard it has to be to voluntarily exit this world.

 

[SilentSadness]

For me, time goes incredibly slowly. Each month takes about a year in my opinion. Although, others often overwhelm me as their reality seems to move faster. I wish I could speed it up, preferably to the time of my death. But I hope you find peace and success soon.

 

[AllMyDreams]

I just need the world to slow down so that i can catch up. I feel like I blink my eyes and hours go by. Maybe I could do more with myself if I just had more time. Probably not.

I don't know how I'm going to end it. I don't know how to get SN or anything similar, and the usual suspects cause my Si to kick in. I'm such a goddamned failure. I'm thinking about barricading my self in my dorm and not eating or drinking anything. It will take a while, but maybe it will give me time to say all my goodbyes properly. I just can't do this shit anymore.

It's the same for me, because I no longer have a job and all the days often just blend together. It was January when I left and now all of a sudden it's March.

But this is an illusion. You have the exact same amount of hours every day as Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos or the President. It's the one resource that all humans have an equal amount of. So you have more time than you think you have. What's helped "slow down" time for me was doing something different every day or week, so that not all days feel the same, even if it's something little like walking to a new spot or talking to people I don't usually talk to.

 

[hellispink]

I just wanna hide in my room or under a rock where no one sees me until i dont exist anymore