Venting i just feel empty

[mushroomhive]

i'm tired and bored and waking up in the morning is the worst. every night i dread sleeping knowing that when i wake up i'll have to drag myself through another insufferably bland day. i don't know how much longer i can keep doing this over and over. whenever i feel a bit better it only lasts a day and i immediately plummet back into this state. it's been so many years. i don't think it's going to get better

 

[itsallpointless]

You need to set some personal goals. Could be tiny ones. But you need to direct yourself towards your own interests

 

[downndone2]

I feel this way as well, plus I replay all the mistakes I made that led me here.

 

[SunnysSunset]

Right omg. Everything is just so boring I'm just BORED.

 

[booplesnoot34]

You need to set some personal goals. Could be tiny ones. But you need to direct yourself towards your own interests

Idk when even the things you used to enjoy bore you, finding new things may not work. I settle for distraction rather than enjoyment.

 

[missingpeace]

Take some time off and explore new places.. your perspective might shift if you place yourself somewhere unfamiliar.

 

[itsallpointless]

Idk when even the things you used to enjoy bore you, finding new things may not work. I settle for distraction rather than enjoyment.

Investing in yourself is not about entertainment, it's about building self respect.
When it starts to feel rewarding it will become entertaining

 

[AerialBoundaries]

Sounds very similar to me. Short lived highs, for more permanent lows.

 

[booplesnoot34]

I don't understand. How can OP gain self-respect if s/he feels s/he doesn't have a self? Also self-investment or goals don't necessarily change anything about a situation except the setting. I have two master's degrees, a decent job doing important work, built up some skills… yet none of it means anything to me. Idk how to help OP but I'm not sure if s/he's ready or able to benefit from your advice yet.

 

[mushroomhive]

Take some time off and explore new places.. your perspective might shift if you place yourself somewhere unfamiliar.

Investing in yourself is not about entertainment, it's about building self respect.
When it starts to feel rewarding it will become entertaining

while i appreciate it whenever i make an effort to go out to a place i enjoy the happiness only lasts as long as i'm there. as soon as i'm home again it's right back to normal. i've been diagnosed with clinical depression for awhile now i've done what feels like everything thags been recomended . which is why i feel like it's not going to get better. i've been trying to make more of an effort to my dream career and while that's been going well it's hard to feel happy about it either

 

[itsallpointless]

I just hope you place yourself first before any type of social indicator. Sometimes we don't realize what we want is what we've been told to want. That's the reason I dropped out of university because I felt like institutionalized education wasn't what I wanted
What I want is bravery, self love, adventure, better family relationships, good health, better perspective and maturity...
Kinda like Dorothy, the tin foil man, the lion and the scarecrow from wizard of oz

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing certainly can be so tedious and I also hate waking up. At least to me temporary sleep could never offer much of a relief as long as the chance of waking is still there. The only relief for me lies in the thought of permanent nothingness, to have the ability to exist is a curse. Your feelings are very much understandable, I wish you the best.