"I hope you kill yourself"

[Deleted member 7141]

More than one person has said this to me in anger. The last person who said it was someone I deeply cared about; not so much any more though. Who am I kidding. I love him unconditionally. His name is David. He knew I had tried to kill myself before so it was said to be especially hurtful.

Why are people who appear to be horrible human beings usually surrounded by a core group of friends and loved ones who seem to be great people who genuinely care about and are fiercely loyal to them no matter how bad they behave?

While some people who are genuinely good, kind hearted, gentle by nature,have no one in this world who cares about them?

 

[SinisterKid]

If I ever find a reasonable explanation of that conundrum, I will be sure to let you know.

 

[Deleted member 7141]

If I ever find a reasonable explanation of that conundrum, I will be sure to let you know.

Thanks....

 

[LivingToLong]

I think when people get angry they (well, some anyway) know how to be hurtful. They want to cause the most possible pain that they can, it's lashing out I suppose. They've been hurt/attacked so they want to hurt back/defend. Some people are actually very good at it (not that it's praise worthy in the least) and know just what to say/do to hurt to the maximum. Sounds like David is such a person.

They say you always hurt the ones you love. That is, in a sense, almost predestined because you are at your most vulnerable with the ones you love. You've trusted them with your soul, your being. That's why, for me, betrayal (of that trust) would be the most hurtful.

I can forgive some hurts if they are acknowledged and, most importantly, apologised for. Betrayal though, I'd find that very difficult to forgive (depending on the circumstances)

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

People once said, "Go kill yourself" to me before as I said it back to them, but nowadays I try to avoid that phrase as much as possible due to self respect and self control and respect to the others even if I don't like them or their behavior we humans create a living heaven and living hell even on the basis of our words as practical Gods not actual Gods like Allah all the way down to Zeus and Jesus and Aphrodite the two Gods that don't bother me as an Atheist.

 

[azucaramargo]

More than one person has said this to me in anger.

I'm guilty of having said this, too, unfortunately. To someone I really wanted/cared about. :(

I think when people get angry they (well, some anyway) know how to be hurtful

Yups.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Why are people who appear to be horrible human beings usually surrounded by a core group of friends and loved ones who seem to be great people who genuinely care about and are fiercely loyal to them no matter how bad they behave?

While some people who are genuinely good, kind hearted, gentle by nature,have no one in this world who cares about them?

Somewhere on one of my old hard drives I have a series of papers showing evidence that, generally, people mistrust "nice" people (beyond some basics of civility a culture recognizes). And many years ago I participated in a research study designed to test whether external factors unrelated to what's said or HOW it's said influence others' reception of what's said. That study found out (of course) that physical appearance and other external cues strongly impact both how receptive people are to what others say and (surprising to the researchers) whether (and to what degree) listeners agree with what was said.

Seems like being "nice" really does make it more likely you/we will finish last... Sorry you were treated badly.

 

[Deleted member 7141]

Somewhere on one of my old hard drives I have a series of papers showing evidence that, generally, people mistrust "nice" people (beyond some basics of civility a culture recognizes). And many years ago I participated in a research study designed to test whether external factors unrelated to what's said or HOW it's said influence others' reception of what's said. That study found out (of course) that physical appearance and other external cues strongly impact both how receptive people are to what others say and (surprising to the researchers) whether (and to what degree) listeners agree with what was said.

Seems like being "nice" really does make it more likely you/we will finish last... Sorry you were treated badly.

Wow! That was deep! It explains so much.

Thank you for sharing. I am going to have to read that a few times to make sure I really comprehend it fully. I already read it once and I am intrigued.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

More than one person has said this to me in anger. The last person who said it was someone I deeply cared about; not so much any more though. Who am I kidding. I love him unconditionally. His name is David. He knew I had tried to kill myself before so it was said to be especially hurtful.

Why are people who appear to be horrible human beings usually surrounded by a core group of friends and loved ones who seem to be great people who genuinely care about and are fiercely loyal to them no matter how bad they behave?

While some people who are genuinely good, kind hearted, gentle by nature,have no one in this world who cares about them?

Sorry this happened to you.
I don't remember ever having said that to someone or have it said to me … if it did happen … maybe High School, but I don't remember it if it did.

 

[Deleted member 7141]

Sorry this happened to you.
I don't remember ever having said that to someone or have it said to me … if it did happen … maybe High School, but I don't remember it if it did.

Thank you, luv...

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I already read it once and I am intrigued.

Happy to PM anytime. Peace.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Thank you, luv...