"I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do"

[DeutscheKartoffel]

"I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do"
is the most retarded shit we've kept seeing on the forum.

Those NPCs have no brain do they, they just repeat the same shit over and over again, it's the opposite of pro-lifers but equally retarded.

 

[Al Cappella]

Uh-oh—that's going to make some folks here cranky! But, you're right. It's a throwaway, showing "compassion", whatever without getting your hands dirty or actually having to give a shit. It's also handy for people that don't really know what else to say. Lastly, it's probably a lot better saying that than "get on with it or shut the fuck up".

 

[ihopethisispainless]

"I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do"
is the most retarded shit we've kept seeing on the forum.

Those NPCs have no brain do they, they just repeat the same shit over and over again, it's the opposite of pro-lifers but equally retarded.

I mean it's definitely waaaay more sensitive than the kind of shit you hear from pro lifers right?

 

[DeutscheKartoffel]

It is cowardice for those to incite suicide in a subtle way without caring to discuss original posters' real-life issues.

 

[Foresight]

I don't get this line of thinking. We're all strangers. Some people tell more of their story than others. Someone posts a goodbye thread and only people who have deep comments can say anything? Hm. Small empathetic remarks hold a place in reaching out to a fellow sufferer, which is appropriate. It's just people being annoyed by sorry for your loss on grief. When sincere it's saying I'm sorry grief has struck you and I appreciate the loss was impactful.

I'm not a snob about exchanging small words though. I think small words still hold value for each individual. It's not about the person scrolling reading their 100th goodbye thread, it's about the person posting and seeing last small words and gestures. This sentence sums up the thought, and everyone saying it is simply recognizing a very intense moment and giving what little they can to a stranger.
Why not just @ someone at this rate. There's nothing wrong with this sentiment, I think you have a more specific problem.

 

[Imissyoumydarling]

I completely agree - I actually just ignored a user who constantly posts that even though I know they mean well.

The problem is that while I know the users who say this probably mean it... It's infuriating to read such copy + pasted messages.

It feels like all the people we've gone to for help in the past who did nothing but recite the same vague lines over and over. That's not help. That's not comfort. And it puts other, more caring people off from replying with sincere messages if they glance over and think the user is getting attention so extra support isn't needed.

I've seen that terrible "I hope you find peace" messages posted to people who were asking for very specific help and it's just such a slap in the face to them... Like you might as well post "this is an automatic reply, I'm going to vaguely encourage you to kill yourself even though you're scared and asking for help but because I sound ~mystical and caring~ I should be praised".

If someone at the end of their life is asking for support and all you can do is post a copy+paste that is not at all specific to them... Don't. All it does is make us feel even more swept over and ignored. And that's what led to us being here.

I understand that these users mean well. But its counterproductive. And not everyone knows what the right thing is to say but if you're in that situation - just ask what you can help with or say something very specific to the users situation so they know they're being acknowledged instead of ignored.

 

[DeutscheKartoffel]

suicide is the last resort for many people, most people just want to resolve their issues when they are in a vulnerable position.

The repetitive copy paste phrase is simply asking them to kill themselves.
You don't encourage someone to kill themselves when they are looking for help.

 

[Sakura94]

I hope I've not written it... or at least if I've ever have there has been an attempt at opening conversation.
Regarding making replies, people have asked me if I'm proflife before which hurts a little but I do try to reach out to them even though its failure like with Gromit and various others.

 

[Imissyoumydarling]

You don't encourage someone to kill themselves when they are looking for help.

This is so vital. I've only been here two weeks but I've still seen others be accused of being undercover prolifers simply for expressing concern for an OP who says they're scared of dying. It's so fucked up.

Honestly I just want to start posting that "I hope you find peace in whatever you decide" message to the most piss-take situations and off topic threads. Start a mini revolution against it and hope it results in people being more specific in their support.

Like I'm currently in bed right now trying to decide if I want to get a McChicken or a Quarter Pounder. And I'm conflicted. But damn I hope I find peace in whatever I decide.

 

[MellowAvenue]

I'm sorry you're going through this ordeal on the site. I hope you find peace in however you choose to handle it.

No, seriously though, you are right. I've actually been guilty of saying this myself (I've generally tried to give advice first though so as to not make it out like suicide is the way out or to keep someone from using a rash method that may not work or cause more pain than what they are trying to escape from) but I'm going to try and remove it from my vernacular for this site.

 

[Lullaby]

I don't get this line of thinking. We're all strangers. Some people tell more of their story than others. Someone posts a goodbye thread and only people who have deep comments can say anything? Hm. Small empathetic remarks hold a place in reaching out to a fellow sufferer, which is appropriate. It's just people being annoyed by sorry for your loss on grief. When sincere it's saying I'm sorry grief has struck you and I appreciate the loss was impactful.

I'm not a snob about exchanging small words though. I think small words still hold value for each individual. It's not about the person scrolling reading their 100th goodbye thread, it's about the person posting and seeing last small words and gestures. This sentence sums up the thought, and everyone saying it is simply recognizing a very intense moment and giving what little they can to a stranger.
Why not just @ someone at this rate. There's nothing wrong with this sentiment, I think you have a more specific problem.

Yeah, I'm not even sure what else you're supposed to say? There's so many people who've come here with absolutely no one in the corner, and I'm sure they've just appreciated that someone's acknowledging them, their pain, and what they're about to do. They know that people are going to support them no matter what they choose to do.

All of that is basically summed up in one sentence. People have been saying that on here for years. If it's a person specifically asking for advice, I guess that's different. I don't really see the issue if it's in a goodbye thread.

At this point, it's fairly obvious who this is in regards to.

 

[Quiet Desperation]

You completely misunderstand the reason that people use this language. It is precisely because they're trying NOT to encourage people to suicide.

Whether it is effective or not is another matter, but either way you're entitled to your opinion of course. I do agree empathy is always good. As your post demonstrates, much is lost in translation through text.

 

[LucyB]

"I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do"
is the most retarded shit we've kept seeing on the forum.

Those NPCs have no brain do they, they just repeat the same shit over and over again, it's the opposite of pro-lifers but equally retarded

I thought I was the only one who noticed the robots on here

 

[virgilwalks]

The hollowness of the same cut & paste phrase repeated so many times is a bit much. Over and over and over the same exact phrase.

 

[9BBN]

I mean it depends on the context. Sometimes I'm at a loss for words and it's all I can offer, and I do want to offer something to say I've listened and empathized. On the other hand, some users repeat this line all the time and it becomes stale and almost chant-like. I don't think it's the pro-choice equivalent of pro-life platitudes, because it's not invalidating or necessarily platitudinous, but it can become a platitude.

 

[motel rooms]

This is so vital. I've only been here two weeks but I've still seen others be accused of being undercover prolifers simply for expressing concern for an OP who says they're scared of dying. It's so fucked up.

Yes, it's really fucked up that people keep getting called pro-lifers for no good reason. I really hate that term, btw. This is a pro-choice forum. The opposite of pro-choice is anti-choice, not pro-life. There's nothing wrong with choosing to live.

On the other hand, some users repeat this line all the time and it becomes stale and almost chant-like.

Tbh, the fact that some members do that doesn't bother me. Not everyone is eloquent & they don't have to be.

 

[whatevs]

If you're thinking of a specific poster, put her on ignore. Although I have to say it's fascinating to ponder why she is like this. It doesn't seem like a real person in most of these posts.

Then as it has been said for many it's a quick way to show some support, I guess. It's too generic and vague for me though.

For example, when I joined I interacted (positively) with a girl that later killed herself. Because I actually HAD some sort of connection with her, I made comments showing support and even using a cheerful tone regarding death perhaps being just a new beginning in her goodbye thread.

suicide is the last resort for many people, most people just want to resolve their issues when they are in a vulnerable position.

The repetitive copy paste phrase is simply asking them to kill themselves.
You don't encourage someone to kill themselves when they are looking for help.

I disagree with this though, I think not everyone wishing peace is thinking of death, sometimes I read it as "hopefully you overcome this either by normal means or by killing yourself". Lol, you know what I mean?

 

[Julgran]

"I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do"
is the most retarded shit we've kept seeing on the forum.

Those NPCs have no brain do they, they just repeat the same shit over and over again, it's the opposite of pro-lifers but equally retarded.

A phrase like "I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do" could be the very last sentence that some people see on a digital screen before they end their life, after having gone without any personal contact - in real life or digitally - for a long while.

Isn't this better than keep getting ignored in one's last moment - or as a friendly nod on one's way back to life..?

 

[Chinaski]

Isn't this better than keep getting ignored in one's last moment - or as a friendly nod on one's way back to life..?

Tbh an out-of-office reply, which is what most of these replies read like, are not materially different from no reply at all imo

 

[Julgran]

Tbh an out-of-office reply, which is what most of these replies read like, are not materially different from no reply at all imo

The same can be said about this conversation.

However, I could agree in some sense, since some people may interpret such a sentence as "Oh, well - the person who wrote than doesn't really care about me, and the only purpose for them to write that to me is to be able to not write anything more substantial". All that matters is how the recipient interprets the message.

 

[9BBN]

Yes, it's really fucked up that people keep getting called pro-lifers for no good reason. I really hate that term, btw. This is a pro-choice forum. The opposite of pro-choice is anti-choice, not pro-life. There's nothing wrong with choosing to live.

Sorry to nitpick, but if we can call them "anti-choice" then they can call us "anti-life," since it's a symmetric argument as long as they insist they're pro-life and we oppose them. I think we should call others how they want to be called, and leave the discrediting to the arguments, not the name-calling.

Tbh an out-of-office reply, which is what most of these replies read like, are not materially different from no reply at all imo

Disagree, I think they are meaningfully different actions, but I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Chinaski]

Disagree, I think they are meaningfully different actions, but I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do.

Hence *read like*.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

It is cowardice for those to incite suicide in a subtle way without caring to discuss original posters' real-life issues.

Most people in the "suicide discussion" section already gave up and don't want "help". I'm not sure what you think discussing the poster's real life issues is suppose to accomplish when they are firm on their decision to CTB?

 

[DeutscheKartoffel]

Most people in the "suicide discussion" section already gave up and don't want "help". I'm not sure what you think discussing the poster's real life issues is suppose to accomplish when they are firm on their decision to CTB?

a wild realist appears,
I like that.

 

[Al Cappella]

Most people in the "suicide discussion" section already gave up and don't want "help". I'm not sure what you think discussing the poster's real life issues is suppose to accomplish when they are firm on their decision to CTB?

Do you honestly think so? Not being a prick—genuinely wondering if they have given up. Some have been there for a couple of years, and then there's posting, checking for replies, replying to others—if I've given up I don't talk to anybody. Granted, that could just be me…

 

[Lullaby]

Do you honestly think so? Not being a prick—genuinely wondering if they have given up. Some have been there for a couple of years, and then there's posting, checking for replies, replying to others—if I've given up I don't talk to anybody. Granted, that could just be me…

I don't think everyone in the suicide discussion forum has given up. I think there are people who are not ready to CTB for different reasons, but are incredibly depressed and use that as a space to to share their thoughts and problems.

If there were a sub forum strictly for venting and discussions about mental health struggles, which I really think there should be, it'd probably be just as active.

 

[Al Cappella]

I don't think everyone in the suicide discussion forum has given up. I think there are people who are not ready to CTB for different reasons, but are incredibly depressed and use that as a space to to share their thoughts and problems.

If there were a sub forum strictly for venting and discussions about mental health struggles, which I really think there should be, it'd probably be just as active.

That's my sense of it too.

 

[Capsaicin78]

"I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do"
is the most retarded shit we've kept seeing on the forum.

Those NPCs have no brain do they, they just repeat the same shit over and over again, it's the opposite of pro-lifers but equally retarded.

i don't really agree with you on that. There is nothing wrong with wishing someone the best, it's just a nice little gesture, nothing more nothing less.

 

[motel rooms]

Sorry to nitpick, but if we can call them "anti-choice" then they can call us "anti-life," since it's a symmetric argument as long as they insist they're pro-life and we oppose them. I think we should call others how they want to be called, and leave the discrediting to the arguments, not the name-calling.

They don't deserve to be called what they wanna be called, especially not by the people they victimize. They need to choke on the shit that comes out of their mouths, suffer even more brain damage & lose the ability to express themselves.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Do you honestly think so? Not being a prick—genuinely wondering if they have given up. Some have been there for a couple of years, and then there's posting, checking for replies, replying to others—if I've given up I don't talk to anybody. Granted, that could just be me…

There's a lot of reasons why someone here hasn't CTB. Survival instinct, guilt, unable to acquire the means for their ideal CTB method.

I am sure some on this site have some hope of recovery, but I do believe that a lot also have given up.