Help I heard one woman who's husband ctbed

[actual_fox]

She told on one podcast that death by suicide of spouse or children is equal in pain to being holocaust survivor.

I am not in desperate need to ctb but I would like it to be an option. Is there a pain threshold one has to pass through for It to be justified in ones mind? Maybe she was lying to guilt people into staying alive- which is possible because she was devoted christian- so suicide =bad. What do you think?

 

[Dot]

= dffclt - hw cn tht persn knw wht Holcst srvivr fls lke 2 b abl 2 mke tht cmparisn

Ctb thrshld = subjctve & persnl fr evry1

Partnrs & chldrn r genrlly th/ strngst bonds tht ppl hve s/ cn apprci8 tht aftermth of ctb wld b v painfl

Thnk tht othr ppl cld b devst8td b/ ctb = nt secrt t.b.h

 

[puppet_nihilist]

= dffclt - hw cn tht persn knw wht Holcst srvivr fls lke 2 b abl 2 mke tht cmparisn

Ctb thrshld = subjctve & persnl fr evry1

Partnrs & chldrn r genrlly th/ strngst bonds tht ppl hve s/ cn apprci8 tht aftermth of ctb wld b v painfl

Thnk tht othr ppl cld b devst8td b/ ctb = nt secrt t.b.h

Exactly, there's no way she can make a proper comparison it's just obnoxious. She really doesn't know how they feel, I'd say she was just exaggerating, going for hyperbole.

Ctb threshold is subjective. I consider myself to be weak though, but I don't know how the fuck I am still able to tolerate life's bullcrap lol. And unfortunately this is true for basically everyone here I guess.

 

[Dot]

Am nt sre whthr hr grf = exaggr8td bt usng Holcst ws strnge cmparsn

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

After my uncle CTB, my Grandmother basically lost her mind… She was pretty fragile before hand… I can imagine the pain might be unbearable depending on the circumstances…

 

[wljourney]

Generally : One experienced trauma is not comparable to another trauma.

However there is a compounding effect of experiencing repeated trauma over YEARS.
Hunger, Torture, watching others being murdered...

Finding your spouse's body may be traumatic. Grieving the loss of a loved one is certainly difficult and challenging.
But I have to say I am so damn tired of this comparison being pulled out of the hat every time someone tries to make a point.

IMO it is not comparable at all and it lessens the horrible torture Holocaust survivors are forced to live with.
Someone who tries to ride on the coattails of the suffering of millions of people loses every respect in my eyes.

 

[Someone123]

She told on one podcast that death by suicide of spouse or children is equal in pain to being holocaust survivor.

I am not in desperate need to ctb but I would like it to be an option. Is there a pain threshold one has to pass through for It to be justified in ones mind? Maybe she was lying to guilt people into staying alive- which is possible because she was devoted christian- so suicide =bad. What do you think?

Each relationship is different, so it will be different for each case. She can describe how it feels for her case, but there is no way she can know how it feels for someone else- the way she feels is not the way someone else feels. The holocaust is a basis of comparison that many people use for describing a huge amount of pain, but no one can know what each person's experience of pain is really like.

 

[IfyouareamanWinston]

This is why it is important to be transparent or distance yourself first. It a fine line to walk because people are not supportive when you are alive however they will wail and cry when you are gone as though they were.

 

[makethepainstop]

This is why it is important to be transparent or distance yourself first. It a fine line to walk because people are not supportive when you are alive however they will wail and cry when you are gone as though they were.

Damn Right! If those idiots who cry such copious tears, had actually engaged with us we might not have felt so strongly about ctb. Lonelyness can make depression so much worse! Dude your a smart man.

 

[FuneralCry]

Nobody has to pass through a pain threshold in order for their decision to leave this world to be justified. There is no such thing as a 'pain threshold' anyway. I find it irritating when people want to gatekeep suicide, leaving this world is a personal decision in which nobody else should have any right to interfere in. Nobody has to justify why they want to leave this world in the first place, suicide could never even need a reason, someone doesn't even have to suffer in any way for their decision of ctb to be valid. We all have the right to be free from this world at a time of our own choosing, it isn't as though any of us asked for this life in the first place.

Nobody should have to stay here against their wishes for the sake of others even if ctb would cause those left behind to experience pain. People shouldn't be guilt tripped and forced into enduring life, the fact is that death, grief and loss are simply an inevitable consequence of bringing life here, as humans it's our fate to die and be forgotten about eventually.

 

[puppet_nihilist]

Am nt sre whthr hr grf = exaggr8td bt usng Holcst ws strnge cmparsn

ahh I see, their pain being incomparable doesn't necessarily make hers exaggerated true. It completely went over my head there lol

Nobody has to pass through a pain threshold in order for their decision to leave this world to be justified. There is no such thing as a 'pain threshold' anyway. I find it irritating when people want to gatekeep suicide, leaving this world is a personal decision in which nobody else should have any right to interfere in. Nobody has to justify why they want to leave this world in the first place, suicide could never even need a reason, someone doesn't even have to suffer in any way for their decision of ctb to be valid. We all have the right to be free from this world at a time of our own choosing, it isn't as though any of us asked for this life in the first place.

Nobody should have to stay here against their wishes for the sake of others even if ctb would cause those left behind to experience pain. People shouldn't be guilt tripped and forced into enduring life, the fact is that death, grief and loss are simply an inevitable consequence of bringing life here, as humans it's our fate to die and be forgotten about eventually.

I agree with you from like an ethical view point. Talk like this might seem like it's gatekeeping ctb.

But from a more practical perspective, we unfortunately can't ignore survival instinct right? On a world where everyone has access to a painless or somewhat painless method then SI might be diminished to the point that speaking of a pain threshold would be wrong. But in our world SI does exist and it's often times very strong. I want to believe in the existence of a subjective pain threshold for ctb because I can't accept that I am still alive. I should have really been dead two or three years ago now considering the amount of pain I went through and I'm sure many relate unfortunately. SI causes a pain threshold to exist, because I cannot accept that my decision to keep living like this is a completely rational decision, I can't accept that :' ((

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I'm not sure who is that person we might try "justify" our suicide to by being over some pain threshold. Ourselves? Our families? Other loved ones? That lady? Society in general? There are people who believe suicide is never justified, and people who just don't get what it is like to hurt so much you want to die. It's impossible to satisfy everyone.
In general, saying "emotional pain from A is equal to/not as bad as/worse than emotional pain from B" is possible only if you're talking about your own experience and you experienced both. You can't know how much something hurts for another person, so that ladie's claim does not apply to any of our loved ones and/or relatives - her experience is not everyone's experience.
And also, unless she is a Holocaust survivor herself she should really STFU about Holocaust. People underestimating the horrors of genocide and throwing such comparisons around trivially make my blood boil.

 

[actual_fox]

= dffclt - hw cn tht persn knw wht Holcst srvivr fls lke 2 b abl 2 mke tht cmparisn

Ctb thrshld = subjctve & persnl fr evry1

Partnrs & chldrn r genrlly th/ strngst bonds tht ppl hve s/ cn apprci8 tht aftermth of ctb wld b v painfl

Thnk tht othr ppl cld b devst8td b/ ctb = nt secrt t.b.h

Huh, that is true. She would never know that. They would be devastated of course. Everybody has different reason- there were people who ctb over philosophy they had even

And also, unless she is a Holocaust survivor herself she should really STFU about Holocaust. People underestimating the horrors of genocide and throwing such comparisons around trivially make my blood boil.

This right there. Also

Thank everybody who took their time for commenting.

I am not basing my decision to go or not on your comments, I just wanted to hear your opinions. Some of them are quite true and useful. I distance myself a bit from my family- not only because I want to be free from attachments but also It helps me be me (expectations of family and how they see me vs what I feel and am like), I think It will be easier as I grow older and become completely independent (Even though this might be hard with economy going the way It does.). Time will tell.

 

[CHXX]

My dad talks to me every day and he wants me to be better. I also understand that my death will cause him some harm, but I can't stand my own mental torment. I know that time will slowly make him forget about me, and when we finally meet there, he may agree with me. Dying now saves me 40 years of detours

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say all death (natural or otherwise) CAN be devastating. I suspect suicide is especially devastating because the person chose to leave. The people left behind are bound to feel all sorts of emotions- grief and shock for the loss, sadness for the person's life experiences that had lead them to that point- maybe even guilt, abandonment and even anger that the person didn't 'try harder' to survive (bearing in mind the 'normal' folk left behind may never see their reasons to ctb as justified).

The choice to end it is extremely personal. For me, yes- there is a pain threshold I would need to pass through in order to ctb now. I believe it would devastate my Dad if I did it. I want to wait for him to go first. At the moment- thankfully- I feel like I can wait. I hate life but it isn't exactly terrible. A lot of people have it far worse.

I think for anyone who is at the point of ctb- it isn't because they're selfish or don't love the people left behind. They simply CAN'T take it anymore and they know they've reached that point.

Also agree that comparing pain is always problematic. Most especially to something as utterly horrific as the holocaust. Thankfully, I hope very few of us will know that degree of pain.