Venting I have told close people I'm going to a psych ward, but I regret it

[SanguineShark]

I'm still suicidal, I want to die, I wish I never told anyone so I could just die. I wish I just bought SN and did ctb already. I suffered all my life and nothing can change this. No amount of therapy will make me forget. I'm miserable and I hate myself and this world. I want to escape and find peace. Maybe I'll fake being ok so they let me out faster. I did this in the first place to not hurt my close ones, but I just don't care... It's my life, it should be my choice what to do with it. What kinda pushed me in the edge was a quote from a movie "Martyrs" in a scene where a character is going through severe abuse and hears voices of her friend:
-What do you have to do to stop being afraid?
-I think you have to let yourself go
-Do you think so?
-Let yourself go

this just broke me, I'm in tears, I want to let myself go and accept death

 

[nothingbutmybest]

You should try treatment at least once but please for your own mental health get treatment outside of the psych ward. Sorry that you're getting sent to a psych ward, it's literally torture and the place drags the worst out of you (regardless of the nurses being nice), which makes it easy to diagnose you and claim they're doing a good thing.

 

[SanguineShark]

You should try treatment at least once but please for your own mental health get treatment outside of the psych ward. Sorry that you're getting sent to a psych ward, it's literally torture and the place drags the worst out of you (regardless of the nurses being nice), which makes it easy to diagnose you and claim they're doing a good thing.

I admitted myself to one that ppl say they had a good experience in. It's more so that I really don't want to go there, I did it for my friends.. but it feels like a waste of time.. I just want to kms.. I leave tomorrow and I feel miserable

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it's really understandable just wanting to escape from all the suffering as I get that it's awful and tiring feeling trapped in an existence that you hate, none of us should be forced to suffer here, I think it's cruel expecting people to continue existing here against their wishes.