Kimlett
Member
- Jan 7, 2024
- 92
From my 20s to my 30s, I've had several depressive episodes. The last one was the longest. A few months ago I really wanted to ctb. But now I feel like I'm finally making it out of this dark period.
I'm in the path of becoming a dietitian, a completely different career path that the one I chose when I was 19 and I had no idea what I wanted to do, the field I'm working in nowadays. I think dietetics is a career path that I'll be able to like, even being a person who struggles to enjoy stuff. I've been fat most of my life but now I'm losing weight, and for the first time in a long time I feel like reaching a normal weight is possible. I feel embarrased studying dietetics as a fat person, but I'm sure I'm gonna make it. I've been binge free for almost 2 months now. I have some bad days in which I fear I'm not gonna make it, but I know I will eventually. And in the future I want to help people with binge eating, obesity and other eating disorders. Also I'll keep making my artistic projects and hopefully earn some money with it.
So, now I think I can build a life for myself that is worth it, instead of a life I want to run away from. If everything fails, if I hate working as a dietician, if I can't make a living with art either, I don't know, I'll volunteer in Rwanda or in some dark corner of the world lol. Or I'll live with my parents until they die and then I'll be homeless or something... I always have ctb as the last resort. But I am going to try so hard. I am going to do my best to build a life that is at least slightly better than being dead. I have hope and I believe in myself.
Thanks for reading.
I'm in the path of becoming a dietitian, a completely different career path that the one I chose when I was 19 and I had no idea what I wanted to do, the field I'm working in nowadays. I think dietetics is a career path that I'll be able to like, even being a person who struggles to enjoy stuff. I've been fat most of my life but now I'm losing weight, and for the first time in a long time I feel like reaching a normal weight is possible. I feel embarrased studying dietetics as a fat person, but I'm sure I'm gonna make it. I've been binge free for almost 2 months now. I have some bad days in which I fear I'm not gonna make it, but I know I will eventually. And in the future I want to help people with binge eating, obesity and other eating disorders. Also I'll keep making my artistic projects and hopefully earn some money with it.
So, now I think I can build a life for myself that is worth it, instead of a life I want to run away from. If everything fails, if I hate working as a dietician, if I can't make a living with art either, I don't know, I'll volunteer in Rwanda or in some dark corner of the world lol. Or I'll live with my parents until they die and then I'll be homeless or something... I always have ctb as the last resort. But I am going to try so hard. I am going to do my best to build a life that is at least slightly better than being dead. I have hope and I believe in myself.
Thanks for reading.
