Help I have prepared everything. I want to kill myself, but I don't have the guts. Tips and tricks?

[Predestinated]

What are some tricks to ctb if you're survival instinct is too "strong"? I just can't anymore.

-Which thoughts are helpful to gain more courage to actually do it? Death is so final, I'm so scared of it.
-other than thoughts: which substances (alcohol etc) can help?

 

[Under The Graveyard]

There's really no way to prepare for it. For some people, their plans fall into place perfectly, for others, their plans fail. I honestly think those who just go and do it, are apt to be more successful.

 

[Istanbulite]

Alcohol is not advised afaik

 

[Predestinated]

Alcohol is not advised afaik

may i ask why?

There's really no way to prepare for it. For some people, their plans fall into place perfectly, for others, their plans fail. I honestly think those who just go and do it, are apt to be more successful.

the only thought that helps is that I'm already living in hell. Death can't be worse than my current situation.

 

[Faraknur]

Alcohol is bad depending on the method. If you are going with SN or any other oral method it could cause you to vomit. Other methods could become a problem if your motorskills are sluggish etc. It is still up to you how you want to do it. But alcohol is generally not advised

 

[Istanbulite]

may i ask why?

the only thought that helps is that I'm already living in hell. Death can't be worse than my current situation.

I am no expert but it does loosen the muscles which is bad

 

[Under The Graveyard]

the only thought that helps is that I'm already living in hell. Death can't be worse than my current situation.

I can't disagree that we are all living in hell, but in my mind, death is much more peaceful than what we got here.

I agree with Moomin17 on alcohol. If you're drunk, more than likely you will fail. You will probably fuck something up and either fail or become completely paralyzed, and nothing will be worse than that.

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide can be very difficult as we are programmed to survive, the survival instinct is determined to keep us suffering. In my case, I believe I will only be able to ctb when the pain of living gets to be unbearable and I reach a point of desperation. If it was easier to exit I would already be gone. Whatever happens, I wish you the best. I know it can be a dreadful feeling when you want to ctb but yet you feel like you are unable to.

 

[Samsal112]

Can someone explain the SI? I have never actually attempted suicide. Is it the desire to stay alive, or is it that you don't want to pass in pain? Or is it once you're close, you're afraid of the afterlife?

 

[Istanbulite]

Can someone explain the SI? I have never actually attempted suicide. Is it the desire to stay alive, or is it that you don't want to pass in pain? Or is it once you're close, you're afraid of the afterlife?

In depth reading can be found here

Self-preservation - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[Samsal112]

In depth reading can be found here

Self-preservation - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

Thank you for providing a link; I appreciate that. But, I am asking for people's experiences. I want to understand in order to prevent any failings.

 

[cyanlove]

We can't really advise you in this. If you want to go through with it then you'll have to grit and bear the few minutes of pain and fear.

I don't recommend additional substances because alcohol may make you throw up. But also substances like fentanyl patches will make you love life and not go through with it.

Go into every decision with a clear mind and determination. Or continue to live.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Thank you for providing a link; I appreciate that. But, I am asking for people's experiences. I want to understand in order to prevent any failings.

Its not my personal experience but I read (in fact I think it was on here, but I'm not sure) someone had attempted suicide by partial hanging, and it was working, he was good, and then without meaning to or any sort of input, like he was watching in third person, he saw his arms float up and untie the noose around his neck.

Point being theres more than just the mental clarity aspect of going through with it. SI is an instinctive, mechanical reaction. People get all the praise in the world fighting against millenia old evolutionary traits, but not when it comes to SI and suicide.

 

[Foresight]

I honestly assess what is keeping me back from it. I know we have a survival instinct but often times there is something else and I think it's important to be honest about that. I've personally come to the conclusion that there are things I need to pursue. If there is nothing, then I assume I have issue with the method. No matter how much you're certain you still want a comfortable end. That's been my experience.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think you're ready.

SI is automatic and built in. It's the reason why people rip the plastic bags off their heads. Why people flinch and make hesitation marks when they're cutting. Why they vomit the poison. That's not their brain, that's reflex. That's SI.

Fear is something else. It's an emotion. It's something you have to overcome consciously or be so disconnected from yourself that you are not feeling your emotions.

When I was at my worst, there was no fear. In fact, there was no guilt, no anything. I was almost in a trance, completely clinical about the whole thing. Now I'm glad that things worked out the way they did, but at the time I wasn't even disappointed. when I was stopped. I was just as clinical and just as ready.

Your fear might just be a stalling technique of your brain, but I tend to think it might mean something more. What exactly are you afraid of? I think the answer to that question will really help you decide if it's more preparation you need, a method you trust more, or that you're just not ready to go.

Of course, I could be full of shit. This is based on my own experience, so YMMV.

 

[Ta555]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think you're ready.

SI is automatic and built in. It's the reason why people rip the plastic bags off their heads. Why people flinch and make hesitation marks when they're cutting. Why they vomit the poison. That's not their brain, that's reflex. That's SI.

Fear is something else. It's an emotion. It's something you have to overcome consciously or be so disconnected from yourself that you are not feeling your emotions.

When I was at my worst, there was no fear. In fact, there was no guilt, no anything. I was almost in a trance, completely clinical about the whole thing. Now I'm glad that things worked out the way they did, but at the time I wasn't even disappointed. when I was stopped. I was just as clinical and just as ready.

Your fear might just be a stalling technique of your brain, but I tend to think it might mean something more. What exactly are you afraid of? I think the answer to that question will really help you decide if it's more preparation you need, a method you trust more, or that you're just not ready to go.

Of course, I could be full of shit. This is based on my own experience, so YMMV.

Not necessarily, fear can just be part of SI. For me, the fear is about failing. I don't think one can say 'Well if you're afraid of failing that means you're not ready' because the fear of failure can be there right till the last moment. A fear doesn't necessarily mean the person is not ready in the sense that they don't want to do it.

 

[_Seeking]

I don't think that there are any tricks to it, for me I find that meditating on it and letting through all the emotions that go along with dying help me to better accept it. I went through a lot of crying and sadness for a life that could have been, had there been better circumstances for me. But ultimately, I am very close to accepting that there is no hope for my conditions and I cannot go on with the pain. I feel it is a process, it isn't something that should be done impulsively or under the influence of substances. CTB is very hard, and it's okay if it doesn't come quickly.

 

[Lost Magic]

No easy answers for that but pills like propranolol and Valium would help. That's if you can get access to them or something similar.

 

[sphinxtured]

What are some tricks to ctb if you're survival instinct is too "strong"? I just can't anymore.

-Which thoughts are helpful to gain more courage to actually do it? Death is so final, I'm so scared of it.
-other than thoughts: which substances (alcohol etc) can help?

If you're interested I want to start a post about or called preparation, encapsulating the many facets we all can come together and agree or disagree on. A place to list the good, bad and ugly ideas and processes we need to attend to before carrying through our juncture. It covers more ideas than what I am writing here, and will continue to increase as time goes on, once others understand it's purpose…