HappySisyphus
One must imagine Sisyphus happy
- Aug 3, 2023
- 32
Sorry if this is long, just needed to get this off my chest.
Contrary to what I normally do, this time I did something I tought could better my mental health, I decided to open up with someone about how bad I'm truly feeling, some people already know I struggle with mental health, but might not know the full extend of it, I thought maybe opening up could help.
I decided I should talk about this with my best friend, I thought it would be better if it was in a private place, sometimes I go to her house after some classes I have so I decided that to be a good time, so on friday I asked her if I could go to her house on monday, she said yes, at the end of friday I asked again just to be sure and she got mad at me for asking again but still said yes, so fast forward to sunday, we were talking normally, and around 11 pm I asked a third time just to confirm and she didn't answer, she just ignored me until we saw each other at school, and she didn't even said anything about it, I wouldn't be affected by this if it was the first time, but it has been so many times I just needed her so much and she just wasn't there for me, when I ask her she says we are indeed best friends but she really doesn't act like it.
Whatever, that doesn't hurt as much anymore, I guess I have gotten used to her being like this, what really hurts is that I actually tried to get better this time, it just hurts so much that even actually trying to get better nothing ever changes, if I didn't try it would just be what I normally do, but faling even though I tried hurts me so much, it makes me think that no matter what I do I siimply won't get better
Contrary to what I normally do, this time I did something I tought could better my mental health, I decided to open up with someone about how bad I'm truly feeling, some people already know I struggle with mental health, but might not know the full extend of it, I thought maybe opening up could help.
I decided I should talk about this with my best friend, I thought it would be better if it was in a private place, sometimes I go to her house after some classes I have so I decided that to be a good time, so on friday I asked her if I could go to her house on monday, she said yes, at the end of friday I asked again just to be sure and she got mad at me for asking again but still said yes, so fast forward to sunday, we were talking normally, and around 11 pm I asked a third time just to confirm and she didn't answer, she just ignored me until we saw each other at school, and she didn't even said anything about it, I wouldn't be affected by this if it was the first time, but it has been so many times I just needed her so much and she just wasn't there for me, when I ask her she says we are indeed best friends but she really doesn't act like it.
Whatever, that doesn't hurt as much anymore, I guess I have gotten used to her being like this, what really hurts is that I actually tried to get better this time, it just hurts so much that even actually trying to get better nothing ever changes, if I didn't try it would just be what I normally do, but faling even though I tried hurts me so much, it makes me think that no matter what I do I siimply won't get better
