Help I have no idea what to do now...

[astral_cockroach]

Hello,
This is my first post. I've never been on a blog, I have no idea how they work.
I screwed up. Really screwed up.
I wanted to end my life this weekend. I rented a place away from where I live, so I could do it with most likely no interruptions. Wrote my letters, bought all the tools I thought as necessary, quit my job, said good bye to my friend who was supporting me, emptied my bank account. Everything made me confident it will work this time. (last time I tried with the helium exit bag)
This time I decided to go with low suspension hanging. All I read about it on the internet made it sound feasable. There's not enough information though so I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I kept practicing tonight to the point my head hurts like hell.
I believe I probably do it too slowly and because of that I'm not compressing enough my carotid arteries, but it seems whatever I try I only get blood in my head and a incredible headache.
No sign of dizziness or losing consciousness.
I'm desperate, there's no going back now. It has to be today or tomorrow.
The sooner the better...
Can anyone offer me suggestions on what I might be doing wrong?

 

[astral_cockroach]

I think this part is all right at least...

 

[Retched]

I wish I could be better help but I only get to a sort of float-y stage and then survival instinct kicks in and I've had several weird universal "interventions" where I would have been discovered. There is a thread on hanging here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-to-hang-yourself.1183/#post-13496

 

[astral_cockroach]

Thanks. I actually ready them over and over again however.
I have no clue what I am doing wrong. Maybe because I do it very slowly?
I'm not afraid of dying at all, but I'm so afraid of fucking up or those last moments of pain. And everyone says that if I have the headache I'm doing it wrong, so I must be doing it wrong.
I wonder now if I should instead do a full suspension, since I'm skinny and I don't weigh enough to put more pressure... Or if the rope is too thick.
I don't even want to do it tonight anymore. I feel I'm about to throw up thinking of the discomfort.

 

[astral_cockroach]

Did you manage to pass out when you had your attempt? Did you get the headache?

 

[astral_cockroach]

Sorry, you already told me you only got to a floaty stage...

 

[Retched]

No need to be sorry. I'm sorry to hear this all. Maybe someone else can chime in with their experiences. I know you are in need for help! People here have good ideas and experience. Yeah, my attempts were all rather lame, I get too panicked. Maybe if you relax a bit and try again after a little while. Sorry you feel like throwing up, I can only imagine what you are feeling right now.

 

[naia_]

I think this part is all right at least...

Hi. Perhaps have a look at Kooz' night night method. You could merge some of the technique from there?

(Wider collar/strap around the neck + add corn bags/socks for pressure on carotids specifically without pressure on windpipe etc)

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/the-night-night-method.6834/

 

[astral_cockroach]

Thanks. I think it's this headache that really discouraged me. I'll definitely not do it tonight. It has to be done tomorrow though, I don't know what other solutions I have at this point. I'm tired of the meaningless effort and humiliation while living in fear that I can always end up worse than before.
I'm sorry I merely found this blog yesterday, had I been here for longer, I could have informed myself better at least.
Worst of all is that nobody anywhere else would help you succeed, they'd all try to stop you or discourage you so you keep living your shitty life. Moral obligations or something. I don't know who to talk to.

 

[astral_cockroach]

I checked night night method too, but a bit too late to buy the proper tools. How do I exactly avoid putting pressure on the windpipe?

 

[naia_]

I checked night night method too, but a bit too late to buy the proper tools. How do I exactly avoid putting pressure on the windpipe?

My point was simply to combine the theory, not necessarily buy the exact materials. The corn bags/socks/rolled up tshirts placed on carotids would keep the rope/collar part away from the windpipe.

 

[astral_cockroach]

Ah. I see. I tried to pad it with a towel, but the whole neck. Perhaps padding only the area where the carotid arteries are would be more sensible...
I'm still worried about the compression though. Does it have to be quick and constantly tighter?

 

[naia_]

Ah. I see. I tried to pad it with a towel, but the whole neck. Perhaps padding only the area where the carotid arteries are would be more sensible...
I'm still worried about the compression though. Does it have to be quick and constantly tighter?

I can't say as I don't have any more knowledge than what is already on the thread I posted. - No idea about going slow/quick only that Kooz basically says that haste makes waste.

I hope you'll be okay whatever happens though!

 

[OkTotti]

i admire your determinism... wish i had it... sometimes i feel like such a coward

 

[astral_cockroach]

Thanks. I'll try to calm down and do it again in the morning.

 

[astral_cockroach]

i admire your determinism... wish i had it... sometimes i feel like such a coward

I'm probably more coward than you are. I expected everything to go smoothly and as soon as I fucked up I started to panic a lot.
I also am too afraid of the pain I'll have to endure. And also knowing the risks...

 

[astral_cockroach]

Before coming here I thought nothing is going to change my mind, but now I so wish I had a plan b. Hanging seems to be the kind of thing that either you do it once and for all, fast and accepting all the risks, or something that you need to practice until you understand how it works.
Fuck whoever designed the human body to be so hard to kill.

 

[OkTotti]

perhaps this video will help you out since your new here:

 

[astral_cockroach]

I also saw that one. I have no idea what she's wearing on her neck and how she's done it so painlessly...

 

[1234dave]

quick compression, noose above Adams apple, put soap on noose

 

[1234dave]

you don't want the exploding head feeling, that means the noose is in the wrong place, should be painless

 

[astral_cockroach]

Done the last two bits. I'm not sure how to do it quicker though. It's likely I'm only managing to compress the jugular...
Damn, helium exit bag was much easier, if not for the fact that it was inefficient and I got up semi-conscious hitting my head against all the walls...