I have my gun and bullets. I guess that’s all that’s left

[prototypian]

I've learned a lot about the thing. I've unloaded it and taken out the revolver part so that it doesn't have a bullet visibly and pulled the trigger with it in my mouth about 25 times. I've gotten to where I don't even wince when it clicks and the hammer goes down. I'm pretty sure it will work.

I'm so down and so tired. I just don't care anymore.

 

[DeathSleep]

I hope you find your peace.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

What caliber is the gun?

 

[prototypian]

What caliber is the gun?

I bought a gun called a charter arms Pittbull that shoots 0.40 smith and Wesson cartridges. I bought it at bass pro shops

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I bought a gun called a charter arms Pittbull that shoots 0.40 smith and Wesson cartridges. I bought it at bass pro shops

That's probably enough to do it.

Where on your person do you plan on shooting yourself?

 

[overworkedhrsegrl]

I have a few questions feel free not to answer if you feel like I'm digging too much into your business, but where location wise are you planning on doing it? In a particular room in a house, In a car or outside somewhere? Who, best case scenario, will find you?

 

[prototypian]

I've been testing it witnthe cylinder out (I followed a video on YouTube to take it apart) by putting it in my mouth aimed at the soft part of the roof of my mouth at a 45 degree angle. Then I cock it with my thumb and pull the trigger. I've practiced so I don't flinch and the cocking of it and the trigger pull works every time. The store I bought it from sold me the bullets and then let me have a free hour at the range to shoot it a few days after I bought it. I even cleaned it. It's a very simple gun. I looked at a mirror so it looks like it will go straight through my head toward the back and up through my brain. What I've read is that people shot in the head at close range with the bullet entering the brain don't even have time to feel anything. I'll do it in my shed on the back side of my property. My family doesn't even know I have the gun.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

45⁰ sounds a bit much if your head is "level" to the ground.



What grain and type ammo?

 

[prototypian]

I bought 40 smith and Wesson 180 grain tmj clean fire

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I bought 40 smith and Wesson 180 grain tmj clean fire

Personally, I would have bought jhp rounds.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

I've learned a lot about the thing. I've unloaded it and taken out the revolver part so that it doesn't have a bullet visibly and pulled the trigger with it in my mouth about 25 times. I've gotten to where I don't even wince when it clicks and the hammer goes down. I'm pretty sure it will work.

I'm so down and so tired. I just don't care anymore.

I never even thought of that dude. Wow. Dry practice runs. That's super smart.

And I hear you. I wish you peace whatever you decide.

45⁰ sounds a bit much if your head is "level" to the ground.

What grain and type ammo?

That i an amazing graphic. Thank you for that. And that's aiming for the medula or whatever it is the spinal cord connection to the brain?

I just feel like you could miss so fucking easily. Would shooting yourself in the heart be more reliable--if MUCH more painful and scary?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I've learned a lot about the thing. I've unloaded it and taken out the revolver part so that it doesn't have a bullet visibly and pulled the trigger with it in my mouth about 25 times. I've gotten to where I don't even wince when it clicks and the hammer goes down. I'm pretty sure it will work.

I'm so down and so tired. I just don't care anymore.

so just dry firing the gun inside your mouth only 25 times removed the wincing flinching?

40 Caliber Smith & Wesson Ballistics Chart | Ballistics 101

 

[prototypian]

Personally, I would have bought jhp rounds.

I don't know what those are. I just asked the guy selling me the gun at the gun case. I knew I wanted a revolver with a hammer that could cock and I asked about stopping power. There were more powerful ones but the man said that a caliber above 9 mm at 10-15 feet for "protection" it doesn't matter. I assume there are many ways to slice and dice bullets and the loads and whatever but this isn't a hobby rabbit hole im going down. I didn't really care what the gun cost but it did seem stupid to buy a fancy or Dirty Harry style gun when I didn't need to. I was looking for simplicity and what I could gauge was ease of firing it the wrong way.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't know what those are. I just asked the guy selling me the gun at the gun case. I knew I wanted a revolver with a hammer that could cock and I asked about stopping power. There were more powerful ones but the man said that a caliber above 9 mm at 10-15 feet for "protection" it doesn't matter. I assume there are many ways to slice and dice bullets and the loads and whatever but this isn't a hobby rabbit hole im going down. I didn't really care what the gun cost but it did seem stupid to buy a fancy or Dirty Harry style gun when I didn't need to. I was looking for simplicity and what I could gauge was ease of firing it the wrong way.

Jacketed Hollow Points. When they hit something, they expand, causing more damage. It probably won't make a difference.

 

[prototypian]

No. The bullets I have don't look like that. But I still think the ones I bought will be fine.

 

[EndingItAll]

Hey, I don't know you and you don't know me, but whatever happens, I wish you the best. I am new here, and its odd being able to communicate with ones that are about to CTB. I personally cannot purchase a gun myself due to our laws and stuff, so I will have to do something more.... elaborate.

 

[prototypian]

What I hAve learned is that we all don't know each other. If we did there would be more interventions. To be honest, people don't want to deal with chronic mental health anymore than they want to deal with someone sick or lame or hurt. You don't count in the world if you're not an active consumer. Your value increases the greater the opportunity there is to take advantage of you. Once that's exhausted you're worthless.

Not a complaint just an observation. I chose this way because it's quick.

 

[prototypian]

I kind of leave the gun in the very back of a drawer in my desk. My kids are all grown and moved out and my wife doesn't really have any interest in my desk. It's strange to me that it sits there in my desk drawer in the zipper case (unloaded) and it's so powerful and at the same time so inert. I don't like shooting it very much as th