Now_And_Then
If I am no good , then let me out
- Jun 30, 2019
- 277
Because of my severe ill ness , I had to have a deep clean of my apartment done , as I had let it get so bad and I couldn't possibly do it my self , my head is whacked about to King dom come
The reason is that the estate officer , Michelle , said that the gas man has to do a gas safety check , but my flat has to be in a good condition
I could not be present on the two days it was arranged as I had to be away with my father for a family thing that couldn't be canceled , so I asked Michelle if she could arrange it for another two days next week . She refused and said that it has to be those two days because the gas man is coming tomorrow ( Monday ) . I had no choice but to have her let them in with the spare keys , and have them do it
Last Wednesday , the day before they were due , I texted AND called Michelle and said to her to tell the cleaners to not touch the bed room as I had moved all my valuables in there . I said to her to either put a note in there to let them know or to tell them verbally . She agreed to this and said no worries , she will let them know as soon as they come . She said that she will also tell them to not throw away any item that looks like a valuable . I told her to tell them to not touch my bed room or any drawers
I came back last night to find that they had
1 - threw away my bed , the quilt and all my pillows
2 - threw away a few random things like my fridge magnet , a few personal items like my plane model , et c
3 - got rid of some of my curtains
4 - Threw away my S D card that had a lot of valuable data
5 - threw away most of my clothes along with the laundry bag they were in . I repeat , threw away most of my clothes along with the laundry bag they were in
6 - and the thing I am MOST UPSET AND ANGRY ABOUT , they threw away my baptism certificate from when I was a baby that was performed next to my old school . It had a little note from my ex head teacher with it , that is gone too . I specifically put that certificate and the note in a little drawer on top of my train model . One of the cleaners took it out and threw it away . You are supposed to clean rubbish ! Not wipe away every little thing you see
Why the hell is this happening to me ? I feel like life is trying to torture me for some reason and it had made me want to stick a knife in my throat all the more
I have had some one tell me that life is trying to give me a sign to make my life better , but all it has done has made me more suicidal
I want that certifate back . I am f****King pissed
I am also broken down
I have been planning to catch thf bus in the next few weeks , is this life trying to get revenge on me for the suicidal thoughts ? It feels that way
The reason is that the estate officer , Michelle , said that the gas man has to do a gas safety check , but my flat has to be in a good condition
I could not be present on the two days it was arranged as I had to be away with my father for a family thing that couldn't be canceled , so I asked Michelle if she could arrange it for another two days next week . She refused and said that it has to be those two days because the gas man is coming tomorrow ( Monday ) . I had no choice but to have her let them in with the spare keys , and have them do it
Last Wednesday , the day before they were due , I texted AND called Michelle and said to her to tell the cleaners to not touch the bed room as I had moved all my valuables in there . I said to her to either put a note in there to let them know or to tell them verbally . She agreed to this and said no worries , she will let them know as soon as they come . She said that she will also tell them to not throw away any item that looks like a valuable . I told her to tell them to not touch my bed room or any drawers
I came back last night to find that they had
1 - threw away my bed , the quilt and all my pillows
2 - threw away a few random things like my fridge magnet , a few personal items like my plane model , et c
3 - got rid of some of my curtains
4 - Threw away my S D card that had a lot of valuable data
5 - threw away most of my clothes along with the laundry bag they were in . I repeat , threw away most of my clothes along with the laundry bag they were in
6 - and the thing I am MOST UPSET AND ANGRY ABOUT , they threw away my baptism certificate from when I was a baby that was performed next to my old school . It had a little note from my ex head teacher with it , that is gone too . I specifically put that certificate and the note in a little drawer on top of my train model . One of the cleaners took it out and threw it away . You are supposed to clean rubbish ! Not wipe away every little thing you see
Why the hell is this happening to me ? I feel like life is trying to torture me for some reason and it had made me want to stick a knife in my throat all the more
I have had some one tell me that life is trying to give me a sign to make my life better , but all it has done has made me more suicidal
I want that certifate back . I am f****King pissed
I am also broken down
I have been planning to catch thf bus in the next few weeks , is this life trying to get revenge on me for the suicidal thoughts ? It feels that way