I have a question , would love if a parent answers

[hurb]

so , I have this pet peeve that i cant wrap my head around. ever since i was born i never liked the concept of having kids , the act of forcing someone to live in this kind of society sounds to messed up for me to day dream about.
so my question is why? why have kids? why did my parents do it? I genuinely don't get it

 

[cytokinestorm]

I have two kids, adults now. If I'd known how bad the world was going to get I probably wouldn't have had them. I was in my 20s/30s and life looked brighter. I had no birth family and wanted to create a family because I thought it would be a positive thing to do. I used to get broody and I enjoyed being pregnant and it made me feel fulfilled I guess. It is a selfish act, I do get that. I feel bad that they're now living in this strange hellscape. I've changed a lot and realise that inflicting existence upon another human is a bad thing and I'm sorry that I fkd up.

 

[itsgone2]

Agree with last post. The world isn't the same. This world isn't near the same.

People have tried to comfort me and said that it has been far worse in the past. Go back and think of medieval times, for example the lack of medicine. The lack of understanding.

I don't agree with them. First, I don't understand why they had children then either but these times are equally awful. Life is so long now. The misery is extended.

I know it wasn't like this the world over but it's hard to describe how life was a few decades ago. I always thought we were close. That we were close to having a nice world. I'm sure I was naïve.
Perhaps soon everyone will realize. Birth rates have been declining for years in most areas of the world. Perhaps the rest of us are just slow to learn.

 

[hurb]

I have two kids, adults now. If I'd known how bad the world was going to get I probably wouldn't have had them. I was in my 20s/30s and life looked brighter. I had no birth family and wanted to create a family because I thought it would be a positive thing to do. I used to get broody and I enjoyed being pregnant and it made me feel fulfilled I guess. It is a selfish act, I do get that. I feel bad that they're now living in this strange hellscape. I've changed a lot and realise that inflicting existence upon another human is a bad thing and I'm sorry that I fkd up.

honestly i wish this is what my parents would say when I ask them. but they will never hold accountability. and it's frustrating. Im grateful that there are people like you , that arent afraid to learn and look back without being defensive. thank you

 

[treestumpisland]

honestly i wish this is what my parents would say when I ask them. but they will never hold accountability. and it's frustrating. Im grateful that there are people like you , that arent afraid to learn and look back without being defensive. thank you

I'm adopted and this narcissistic, controlling, crazy, infuriating "mother" won't even take accountability for adopting me, answer why she believes, as an American, she has the right to decide what's best for Russians/Europeans, that displacement from my culture, genetics, epigenetics just for her selfish wants of being praised by country-bumpkin insufferable clicking hens is more important than my autonomy. She's now trying to say she's the victim, I ruined her life, she "had no choice in adopting me", like she didn't sign up for it, acts like i was an unwanted pregnancy she was "forced" to have and has resented me my whole life. She won't take accountability for having gone out of her way to adopt someone just to resent them because I wouldn't act, think, behave the way that was least annoying to her. And she's now determined to ensure my life is ruined because she's somehow the victim in all this. She literally called a victim hotline because she was mad I wouldn't call her a saint and praise her for adopting me,so she called an domestic abuse hotline saying i'm abusing her.

But back to your point, I don't want or mean to derail, so backwards to the original point of the post- there's no getting through to boomers, snd even adoptive parents don't care about my suffering, and in my case, enjoy it because she enjoys when i'm traumatised, hurt by others, hurt by her, she hopes the world makes me suffer as much as possible. And she insists she's a "loving, caring, saint of a mother".

 

[hurb]

in my case, enjoy it because she enjoys when i'm traumatised, hurt by others, hurt by her, she hopes the world makes me suffer as much as possible. And she insists she's a "loving, caring, saint of a mother".

And you would think an adoptive parent , would be emotionally smart and empathetic...
im sorry u have to deal with her bullshit