My last date was in February 2025. One date in summer was cancelled. One woman ghosted me in a bizarre way.
We are texting since 5 days. The texting got less and less. So I asked her out for a date this morning. And she agreed and told me she was very happy about that. A friend of mine told me less texting, earlier asking for a date. People on here adviced that too.
The weird thing is I texted that woman in August for like 3 days. I think she forgot that or she plays like she forgot that. We had an argument about two things. She told me I was too negative and judgemental towards my family. Without knowing my family story. I was pretty pissed about that. And then later she talked about something like how sad it is that animals have to die in a certain way. I cannot remember. And then I asked her whether she is vegetarian which pissed her off.
My friends and I have the theory she doesn't remember it. But only 4 months afterwards. She knew my name, my story, what I study and many details how can she forget about all of that. I knew it was her when she told me her name and the names of her cats. What is your theory is she able to remember it or does she act like that?
Sometimes, the conversations were fulfilling. But most of the time I have to bring new topics to the table to talk about. I think she looks cute. And she gave me a compliment that I look cute. I have the feeling she likes me. But I don't have the feeling she knows much about me.
She does not know anything about my menal illnesses. My traumatizing childhood. And that I am probably unable to work. And before you post someone like you shouldn't date. I think this advice is totally bogus. I dated women who abused the shit out of me. Maybe these people shouldn't date. In my opinion they have the right to date though. And a part of the dating experience I had with them was very good for me. So I don't fully blame them. But I am very hesitant to become very explicit about my traumata. But it also varies how the chemistry between us fits. And with her I have the feeling I will be quiet about the domestic violence and not be explicit about it at all. But in case we get closer I will tell her more about my struggles. But not in this early stage. I wait until the contact burns out which happens all the fucking time in online dating. Even without trauma dumping. For me it matters a lot why someone ghosts me. And I never say in an early stage that I probably will never be able to work. If someone ghosted me for that this would hurt like hell. If it is because of my outer appearance I am fine with that. I don't look bad many woman told me that but everyone has different types. I could go on with the list. But often its unknown why someone ghosts you. Often it remains a mystery but as long I don't make myself fully vulnerable they cannot hurt me with it too much.
Yesterday, I texted with a doctor in training. She is one year younger than me graduated college and works in her field. LMAO. She was very polite and you cannot say why she stopped texting me. We had a pretty good conversation, she gave me compliments and suddenly she did not reply any further. My guess is because I am still in college and I am one year older than her. But I am not too hurt about that. I could imagine this woman plans to get married and how to get kids with someone. The first woman I mentioned is like 5 years younger. If someone is very ambitious I am not made for them. Honestly, I was extremely ambitious myself. But with my broken health even wokring is an utopia.
Tbh I don't expect anything from that date on Sunday. I can say to myself afterwards well I was on a date again and got more experience and that's it. I am always catastrophizing dates before they happen to the max. I had no catastrophe thus far though. I will take some benzos. But I have the feeling we don't fully fit. And I am not sure how good the chances are if we didn't fit the first time. And what will happen if she remembers our argument...
I will probably keep updating this thread. Wait a minute. Of course did I have this catastrophe it happened in December. On the second date with the liberal, autistic woman her sociopathic friend attacked me verbally. She texted me one week after that and apologized in a rather mediocre way. I told her I don't want to see her friend ever again. Afterwards, she never texted me again. Lol. She was in an open relationship probably. Friends with benefits might would have been possible she looks good. But she takes drugs all the time and her friends seemed to be pretty toxic. My friends told me to dodge her.
We are texting since 5 days. The texting got less and less. So I asked her out for a date this morning. And she agreed and told me she was very happy about that. A friend of mine told me less texting, earlier asking for a date. People on here adviced that too.
The weird thing is I texted that woman in August for like 3 days. I think she forgot that or she plays like she forgot that. We had an argument about two things. She told me I was too negative and judgemental towards my family. Without knowing my family story. I was pretty pissed about that. And then later she talked about something like how sad it is that animals have to die in a certain way. I cannot remember. And then I asked her whether she is vegetarian which pissed her off.
My friends and I have the theory she doesn't remember it. But only 4 months afterwards. She knew my name, my story, what I study and many details how can she forget about all of that. I knew it was her when she told me her name and the names of her cats. What is your theory is she able to remember it or does she act like that?
Sometimes, the conversations were fulfilling. But most of the time I have to bring new topics to the table to talk about. I think she looks cute. And she gave me a compliment that I look cute. I have the feeling she likes me. But I don't have the feeling she knows much about me.
She does not know anything about my menal illnesses. My traumatizing childhood. And that I am probably unable to work. And before you post someone like you shouldn't date. I think this advice is totally bogus. I dated women who abused the shit out of me. Maybe these people shouldn't date. In my opinion they have the right to date though. And a part of the dating experience I had with them was very good for me. So I don't fully blame them. But I am very hesitant to become very explicit about my traumata. But it also varies how the chemistry between us fits. And with her I have the feeling I will be quiet about the domestic violence and not be explicit about it at all. But in case we get closer I will tell her more about my struggles. But not in this early stage. I wait until the contact burns out which happens all the fucking time in online dating. Even without trauma dumping. For me it matters a lot why someone ghosts me. And I never say in an early stage that I probably will never be able to work. If someone ghosted me for that this would hurt like hell. If it is because of my outer appearance I am fine with that. I don't look bad many woman told me that but everyone has different types. I could go on with the list. But often its unknown why someone ghosts you. Often it remains a mystery but as long I don't make myself fully vulnerable they cannot hurt me with it too much.
Yesterday, I texted with a doctor in training. She is one year younger than me graduated college and works in her field. LMAO. She was very polite and you cannot say why she stopped texting me. We had a pretty good conversation, she gave me compliments and suddenly she did not reply any further. My guess is because I am still in college and I am one year older than her. But I am not too hurt about that. I could imagine this woman plans to get married and how to get kids with someone. The first woman I mentioned is like 5 years younger. If someone is very ambitious I am not made for them. Honestly, I was extremely ambitious myself. But with my broken health even wokring is an utopia.
Tbh I don't expect anything from that date on Sunday. I can say to myself afterwards well I was on a date again and got more experience and that's it. I am always catastrophizing dates before they happen to the max. I had no catastrophe thus far though. I will take some benzos. But I have the feeling we don't fully fit. And I am not sure how good the chances are if we didn't fit the first time. And what will happen if she remembers our argument...
I will probably keep updating this thread. Wait a minute. Of course did I have this catastrophe it happened in December. On the second date with the liberal, autistic woman her sociopathic friend attacked me verbally. She texted me one week after that and apologized in a rather mediocre way. I told her I don't want to see her friend ever again. Afterwards, she never texted me again. Lol. She was in an open relationship probably. Friends with benefits might would have been possible she looks good. But she takes drugs all the time and her friends seemed to be pretty toxic. My friends told me to dodge her.
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