Discussion I have 2 weeks left

[Cyagangy]

So I plan on dying either by September 14th (Saturday) night or by Sunday morning. More then likely not I will stay up until Sunday morning to CTB because I wanna watch toonami one last time. I have been practicing Night-Night with two shirts and my tree ratchet before my bean bags come in. It felt pretty good like a snug neck pillow except if said neck pillow was meant to be so comfortable you wont ever wanna wake up from sleeping on it! Practice makes perfect, I ordered my Cornhole sacks and a turkey bag so if strangulation doesn't get me I can fall back on asphyxiation.
Low-key this might be an op strat. Unless I fail in which case I atleast have mid day to keep trying before I just buy bullet's and steal my mom's pistol since legal adults can buy bullet's in Texas. Granted stealing my mom's gun will be hard since I don't know where she keeps it or how to get into her room without her catching onto me.

 

[CC123]

So I plan on dying either by September 14th (Saturday) night or by Sunday morning. More then likely not I will stay up until Sunday morning to CTB because I wanna watch toonami one last time. I have been practicing Night-Night with two shirts and my tree ratchet before my bean bags come in. It felt pretty good like a snug neck pillow except if said neck pillow was meant to be so comfortable you wont ever wanna wake up from sleeping on it! Practice makes perfect, I ordered my Cornhole sacks and a turkey bag so if strangulation doesn't get me I can fall back on asphyxiation.
Low-key this might be an op strat. Unless I fail in which case I atleast have mid day to keep trying before I just buy bullet's and steal my mom's pistol since legal adults can buy bullet's in Texas. Granted stealing my mom's gun will be hard since I don't know where she keeps it or how to get into her room without her catching onto me.

you seem very mature and confident

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best, I hope that you find what you are searching for.

 

[Cyagangy]

you seem very mature and confident

Thank you!

I wish you the best, I hope that you find what you are searching for.

You too.

 

[FrancesFarmer]

I hope this is okay to say but please do not use your mom's gun, we can't drag anyone down with us. Even if you want to get emotional revenge on her (I'm not saying that this is the situation but for some people it is) somehow please think about how she is going to be shamed for even having a gun in a place accessible to you, others will subtly blame her and it's going to make it all the more painful irregardless of what your relationship is. You have to imagine her 20 years from now still thinking about it.
Three in my immediate family have all committed suicide and you have to remember for better or worse people do remember even though for the first couple years they're going to try to put it out of their brain or rationalize it somehow.
I know it's difficult to see 20/20 and you want a quick out but you're going to have to research the bejesus out of that pistol and what bullets it currently holds to make sure it's successful, because one caliber off and you're not going to die you're just going to lose the ability to walk.
I'm going to a gun show on Saturday, fortunately I'm of age and I know exactly what I need. Feel free to private message me if you need to chat more, I wish you well

 

[Cyagangy]

I hope this is okay to say but please do not use your mom's gun, we can't drag anyone down with us. Even if you want to get emotional revenge on her (I'm not saying that this is the situation but for some people it is) somehow please think about how she is going to be shamed for even having a gun in a place accessible to you, others will subtly blame her and it's going to make it all the more painful irregardless of what your relationship is. You have to imagine her 20 years from now still thinking about it.
Three in my immediate family have all committed suicide and you have to remember for better or worse people do remember even though for the first couple years they're going to try to put it out of their brain or rationalize it somehow.
I know it's difficult to see 20/20 and you want a quick out but you're going to have to research the bejesus out of that pistol and what bullets it currently holds to make sure it's successful, because one caliber off and you're not going to die you're just going to lose the ability to walk.
I'm going to a gun show on Saturday, fortunately I'm of age and I know exactly what I need. Feel free to private message me if you need to chat more, I wish you well

Well that's the thing, i really do want that vengeance on her. I know what Calibur her Taurus is and where exactly I need to shoot if worse comes to worse. I know how much the "Night-Night" method hurts but I have faith it will work. Most of my suicide audios are of me making one sided small talk to family and friends for there milestones. But In my general suicide note. I blame my mom and go into detail on why I would have needed to die regardless. Because not many of my close friends and family know what bad things I had done in the past. When I first drafted my plan at 17 I knew I wanted my mom to lose everything. I wanted her to lose her job,her friends and for family to cut contact when they see the monster she truly was. When I was 9 she told me if I commit suicide then she would to so I know exactly what fate she will have after I catch the bus. Though I do feel bad to some degree since I know she is mentally ill and she can't control how abusive she is herself. If things go wrong with my first plan I will contact you.

 

[FrancesFarmer]

I do apologize as i have no idea what the situation is and people can be dreadful, terrifically terrible oafs!
Im sorry you have had to deal with a shitty parent, the worst scars ever.