I hate this saying. . .

[Dean Pelton]

I'm so angry right now and I know I can't say this on social media or to an actual person because it will be taken the wrong way. My story is long, but basically with in 18 months I was in a physical, sexual and mentally abusive relationship, car accident that totaled my car, roommate ran off leaving me with double the bills and I PTSD so bad I can't work. Oh, and the justice system has been anything but helpful.

I hate the saying "if there's anything I can do, let me know". My blood pressure is rising just from typing that, it's such a stupid saying. OF COURSE there's something you can do. You could take out a second mortgage and rent me an apartment, you could kick your adult child out of the house and give me their room, you could go punch my rapist in the face. But most people wouldn't do those things because they fall outside of "reasonable" perimeters for helping someone. Which is fine and normal. But as a person suffering in constant pain, I don't know what YOUR limits are. I don't know how much time, effort and money you are willing to commit to help me. So it seems so asinine to tell me if there's ANYTHING you do. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT! Why don't you tell me what you're WILLING to do?
I've been extremely honest with people around me, they know exactly what's going on and I still get this generic response constantly. If I said I was starving would you say "if there's anything i can do, let me know"? Or would you just bring me a sandwich?

I don't know if this is making sense or not. I don't feel entitled for people to help me, it's just that people are offering without really saying what they're willing to do and that just feels like hollow words to me. Like you know I'm about to be evicted, if I could live with you, you would've offered that specific thing already, but you didn't, so I can only assume that's not an option, even though you said "anything".
I just needed to vent. That response is so infuriating to me.

 

[jodes2]

Yeah it's frustrating

 

[novem]

Do you want to know the truth?
They won't help because it is not profitable.
They will say that phrase to make themself look good in the eyes of others, it is just a common pattern of behaviour in the certain part of the world.

I personally wish I could help everyone but I am not the Jesus (although that story is a sophisticated lie),
we all got to this forum because we had lost too much, and faced the harsh reality of the century of the self.

I don't ask for help from random people any more and I don't expect them to be honest with me.
The only people who might care is your family by the blood.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's very much understandable feeling angry like that, I think the truth is that people who say things like that really couldn't care less about what others go through and only really care about what directly affects themselves. Other people can certainly be very irritating and I just think that it's best to avoid people like that, you cannot really rely on them and they will just let you down. People just pretend to care but the truth is that they don't wish to get involved in other people's problems and this is shown through their generic responses.