Venting I hate the assumption that all suicidal people don’t really want to die

[FuneralCry]

I do believe that many people think this, they believe that all suicidal people don't really want to die but it's just the only way to escape from their current situation, I even often see people on here saying things like, "I wish there's another way, I hope you don't ctb, I wish you could have a life of happiness". And while what I'm describing may apply to some people, I don't understand the people who believe that everyone doesn't want to die.

As in my case I'd prefer to cease existing no matter what, I don't see suicide as a terrible, negative thing, instead only the thought of permanently not existing comforts me. It fills me with dread the thought of existing under any circumstances, to me existence is completely undesirable in every way possible.
I just don't believe that existing was worth having in the first place, I believe that existence itself is such a terrible mistake. For me death is a positive thing as it means the eternal relief from suffering, one cannot suffer from not existing which is ideal to me.

I just wish there's acceptance towards the fact that not everyone wants to exist, it's cruel how we cannot just die in peace, the fact that suicide is so difficult is only what has kept me trapped here.

 

[Mene Tame]

Idk tbh if there was a life without suffering I would live, but since that doesn't exist it's pointless to live this kind of painful excruciating life

 

[R_N]

Can we say that most of us want to escape pain then?

In life pain is guaranteed for every living being more or less so it makes sense. However process of dying is not exactly painless and comfortable either so it is natural that even people like us (some) can't do it that easily.

 

[Mene Tame]

Sorry if my opinion makes 0 sense

 

[Seered Doom]

I hate that assumption so much too! The grand majority, if not almost every suicidal person wants to die. It's like the core part of the depression. The need to CTB is literally within why suicide is taken so seriously regardless of your stance of being pro fixer or pro choice.

 

[letmejoindeath]

To me suffering is a part of life. It helps you appreciate the good and doing things that you look forward to.

When you don't have any good and never will then there isn't a point though. No one is going to buy me a house or a new car to make up for all these years so I don't care now I tried to do it myself and people won't let me, then say I can't do something without ever giving me a chance even.
Then say it's the "Hilton effect"

How is it the Hilton effect when you want to do things and have responsibilities but no one lets you or even gives you a chance? How is it the Hilton effect when you pay for a trade and teach yourself and everyone makes excuses not to hire you?

Trades and college are worthless unless you were born into a good life already. My life will never be good. I accept that

 

[thinvy]

there's deffo some chronically suicidal people who don't want to die, but can't see their lives ever changing so what's the point, but there's also just some of us who do genuinely just want to die, absolutely yeah.

like yea if I could live a life where I'm not in constant pain and my body isn't falling apart, and where my family cared for me and loves me, where I hadn't been through all the serious shit I've been through, I'd love that. but that also wouldn't be me. I wouldn't want to not die "anymore" because I never would've wanted to in the first place.

I think people think like that because they can't operate under any other mindframe than their own, where they have a will to live, so clearly everyone has something, right?? (/s)

tbh I crave death so much because I'm pretty sure I'm a statistical oddity that should've been dead a loooooooong looooooooooooooong time ago, alas, I'm stuck in the hellscape that is 2023, slowly dying until I'm ready and able to ctb. here's to hoping I never see spring of '25.

 

[UKscotty]

I think a lot of people don't really want to CTB though. Maybe holding onto some hope.

I think deep down, in reality... if any of us were truly ready to CTB, we would be gone by now.

All humans intuitively know that with a rope we can be gone in minutes but that final glimmer of hope keeps us here.

Our minds sell it to us in all sorts of ways, it's not peaceful enough, it's too slow, it might fail, someone might find me, so on and so on.

 

[GreenMarsh]

Hey Funeral, love to see ya post,

I like the way you express your grievances here. Being on the forum has taught me a lot about people like myself. Even I must admit, I made some assumptions when I first joined, nothing like "none of you really want to die," God no, but more along the lines of "everyone wants to die the way I do" or "everyone probably feels the same way I do." This was rather shallow of me, possibly a symptom of my own excitement upon finding like-minded people.

That being said, I'd also like to admit that I don't feel the way you do, to an extent. I hate existing in this particular life, but I can imagine some sort of hypothetical existence were I am far more satisfied with the way things are, so to speak. This of course, is not something that can happen in the real world as is, it's borderline fiction, but I always say I want it my way, or no way at all.

I like this post a lot because it reaffirms the idea that even though our destinations are different, ours is the same bus. I hope you find your peace

 

[cosifantutti]

I do believe that many people think this, they believe that all suicidal people don't really want to die but it's just the only way to escape from their current situation, I even often see people on here saying things like, "I wish there's another way, I hope you don't ctb, I wish you could have a life of happiness". And while what I'm describing may apply to some people, I don't understand the people who believe that everyone doesn't want to die.

As in my case I'd prefer to cease existing no matter what, I don't see suicide as a terrible, negative thing, instead only the thought of permanently not existing comforts me. It fills me with dread the thought of existing under any circumstances, to me existence is completely undesirable in every way possible.
I just don't believe that existing was worth having in the first place, I believe that existence itself is such a terrible mistake. For me death is a positive thing as it means the eternal relief from suffering, one cannot suffer from not existing which is ideal to me.

I just wish there's acceptance towards the fact that not everyone wants to exist, it's cruel how we cannot just die in peace, the fact that suicide is so difficult is only what has kept me trapped here.

All your posts are very clear that you'd rather not exist. Do you mind me asking if there was ever a time when you didn't mind life? If I've offended you I'm sorry.

 

[F&Inside]

Hello.
I doubt very much that they can get into my mind and tell me how I feel and what I want.

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

I don't understand the people who believe that everyone doesn't want to die.

It is weird. It definitely has a source in religious ideas. It's strange to me how this carries over into secular thought. Life is seen as intrinsically good - sacred even.

This assumption is so strong and unexamined that most figure the suicidal are mad, sick, or just craving attention. It infantalizes us and doesn't allow direct conversations with nuance.

there's deffo some chronically suicidal people who don't want to die, but can't see their lives ever changing so what's the point, but there's also just some of us who do genuinely just want to die, absolutely yeah.

This is a great point. Suicidal people aren't a monolith. We have a huge range of reasons and outlooks on life. Grouping us together minimizes the particulars of our personal experience and suffering.

 

[SamTam33]

I chalk it up to a lack of critical thinking ability.

If one can admit that not everyone wanted to be born, is it so much of a stretch to believe that not everyone wants to live?

It's such a simple concept. Not everyone wants the same things.

Why won't their brains allow them to accept that? A lack of brain power is the only thing that makes sense.

 

[leavingsoon99]

If nonexistence is all there is after this, then so be it. I'll take my rest. However, if there can be something for me outside of THIS particular reality, I'd rather go there and spend my energy and light there. This reality is SHIT. I DO want to die from this.

 

[emma99]

I honestly think there are a few rational reasons for the way people respond.

So person A is suicidal and they go tell person B.
Person B 'morally' and 'legally' cannot incite your suicide.

So even if Person B agrees with your belief. they are socially obliged to protest your thoughts.

Then there is the emotional element of it.

For non depressed people, being around depression can feel quite tiresome and so they distance themselves from you.