I hate that talking helps bullshit

[justfloating]

since the death of Caroline Flack (uk) everyone has been posting on social media how if you're going though a tough time you need to reach out, talking helps, take the fist steps.

it's such bullshit. I have tried talking, I reached out to my friends, I went to councelling, I've been to the doctors several times, and I've been hospitalised after attempts. all this has done is caused friends to cut me off, huge bills from the councelling which doesn't help, doctors who do fuck all, and my mum blaming me for ruining her weekend with an OD

for certain issues talking might help, but for me what I need is change, yet no-one is willing to change because no one really wants to help me. people either need to own the fact they don't give a shit, or stop lying pretending they do.

my friends couldn't care less if I died, and whether they accept it or not, it will be their hands forcing the pills down my throat.

 

[Melkus2020]

Not talking but Listening helps.

 

[Anon2662]

Everybody since also seems to be preaching 'be kind' but continue to use social media to gratify their needs to put others down. People say what they think people want to hear. It's all a conspiracy to catch you in their net where you're vulnerable.
ive tried the talking thing too and for me personally it made things worse. They just can't be trusted.

 

[justfloating]

Not talking but Listening helps.

tbh you might be right. councelling doesn't help tho. I do feel that if this one person actually heard what I was saying then things may be different right now, like he hears it but it doesn't actually enter his brain so he still treats me like shit

Everybody since also seems to be preaching 'be kind' but continue to use social media to gratify their needs to put others down. People say what they think people want to hear. It's all a conspiracy to catch you in their net where you're vulnerable.
ive tried the talking thing too and for me personally it made things worse. They just can't be trusted.

my best friend of 6 years cut me off when I asked for help because I was suicidal, now she ignores me in the streets. yet when someone she spoke to one had killed themselves she was crying and went all sad. people act one way but when push comes to shove they aren't there for you

 

[Indieblue]

I once told my friend how i had been depressed and tried to kill myself. She never talked to me ever since again.

 

[justfloating]

I once told my friend how i had been depressed and tried to kill myself. She never talked to me ever since again.

I get you and it fucking sucks, they walk around acting like good people, preaching how you need to reach out when your feeling low. in my case I feel its almost like they're my murderers

 

[Mr2005]

What are you people doing now then?

 

[faust]

I think talking may help only if people are in same situation. Otherwise there would not be AA groups or any other. It reminds me of a "Fight Club". People were gathering with same problems. Normally people will listen to you, but they won't hear you. Once I was talking to somebody in HelpLine and it seemed to me that I am talking to myself. Like the person on the other side is present, but he/she is very cold and only capable of listening to my vent. And that's it. It is same as if you would try to talk about machinery to the person who has never even had a car.

 

[Ghost2211]

Talking might help you if you talk to the right people. Everyone here is open minded and will not judge you. You can say the things that others can't hear. Talking may not fix everything, but it can help calm the acutely stressful moments to know that people that care are always there to listen.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Its a two way street. Talking can help but only IF the other person listens. There are many that will urge you to talk, but then won't listen because they have already judged you, albeit subconsciously. Talking without someone to listen is worthless.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

venting can help but it doesnt change my situation. my body is still all fucked up and in pain so my words are meaningless. everything is meaningless, bc nothing can fix this curse.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

What are you people doing now then?

I think its a case of talking to the right people, here yes we all talk because we understand and we don't force pro life down each others throats, also a lot of the people on social media don't have true experience so in a way are impossible to talk to.
Talking on here can be helpful, but not helpful in the way say therapy is meant to be.

I blogged about this subject last week, I got ripped for it, told there's always mental health awareness all the time, its not a trend like I claim and so forth! My blog was about pro choice, which is what I think pissed people off though!

 

[TheEndof]

At the end of the day, I'm still stuck in a difficult and painful place. Talking through could be useful if the other person showed genuine care and love. Usually talking is very shallow and as a result, makes me feel worse. I don't think it matters much at this point anyway. Talking won't change my circumstances, my past, or my future.

 

[Elias]

Talking won't help you, it will help other people who have to deal with you. They want as much information about what you're going through so they can either do their job, manipulate you, or have a plausible reason to tell you to fuck off. The police will benefit from your self-incrimination if you talk too much, the psych ward and psychiatrists will benefit from you talking too much and getting sectionned/medicated and kept "for your own good", and people around you will have a nice little excuse to put a "healthy" distance between you and them because you're "not being yourself" lately and it's taking a toll. It can and will be used against you.

The good majority of people have their own issues, and they keep it to themselves, for a good reason. No one will tell you that you're doing yourself a disservice by talking, they want to hear what you have to say!

Unless you have a perfect soulmate, that you trust with your life, who would go to the end of the world and beyond with you, who would stay through thick and thin and has already done in the past, and you can confide anything in them and they would actively act to help you with it, I would advise everyone to shut up about their very personal issues.

Talking won't solve your problems, it can be a temporary relief if there was something you needed to get off your chest, but when time passes there's only so much talking can do. And by willingly throwing information about yourself at people, you make yourself vulnerable and take a risk.

 

[Marktheghost]

Talking can help, but yeah, I feel the same. I need help. Just talking with nothing being done to change my circumstances is useless!

 

[justfloating]

Talking won't help you, it will help other people who have to deal with you. They want as much information about what you're going through so they can either do their job, manipulate you, or have a plausible reason to tell you to fuck off. The police will benefit from your self-incrimination if you talk too much, the psych ward and psychiatrists will benefit from you talking too much and getting sectionned/medicated and kept "for your own good", and people around you will have a nice little excuse to put a "healthy" distance between you and them because you're "not being yourself" lately and it's taking a toll. It can and will be used against you.

The good majority of people have their own issues, and they keep it to themselves, for a good reason. No one will tell you that you're doing yourself a disservice by talking, they want to hear what you have to say!

Unless you have a perfect soulmate, that you trust with your life, who would go to the end of the world and beyond with you, who would stay through thick and thin and has already done in the past, and you can confide anything in them and they would actively act to help you with it, I would advise everyone to shut up about their very personal issues.

Talking won't solve your problems, it can be a temporary relief if there was something you needed to get off your chest, but when time passes there's only so much talking can do. And by willingly throwing information about yourself at people, you make yourself vulnerable and take a risk.

telling people I had been feeling suicidal was my biggest mistake. as you say, people used it as an excuse to cut me off, making the root problems worse.

 

[TAW122]

I agree for the most part. I guess to the people who just want to vent and want someone to listen to their woes, then yes, it can be helpful. However, to the people who already made up their minds (myself included), then it's not useful at all.

 

[R_N]

I regret seeking help in general. I realised no one can help me and in most cases they just destroy my life even more.

 

[icravedeath]

Recently saw a girl being deemed as "untrustworthy", "her rape accusation doesn't matter" because she has tried to kill herself in the past twice. Okay so a suicidal person can't be raped. Good to know.

People love to act like they're so kind but suicidal people are still looked down upon and seen as evil and not normal, if you confess to someone that you're suicidal they guaranteed will be turned off by you and will hop on to someone who is less damaged.

 

[AlreadyGone]

Talking won't help you, it will help other people who have to deal with you. They want as much information about what you're going through so they can either do their job, manipulate you, or have a plausible reason to tell you to fuck off. The police will benefit from your self-incrimination if you talk too much, the psych ward and psychiatrists will benefit from you talking too much and getting sectionned/medicated and kept "for your own good", and people around you will have a nice little excuse to put a "healthy" distance between you and them because you're "not being yourself" lately and it's taking a toll. It can and will be used against you.

The good majority of people have their own issues, and they keep it to themselves, for a good reason. No one will tell you that you're doing yourself a disservice by talking, they want to hear what you have to say!

Unless you have a perfect soulmate, that you trust with your life, who would go to the end of the world and beyond with you, who would stay through thick and thin and has already done in the past, and you can confide anything in them and they would actively act to help you with it, I would advise everyone to shut up about their very personal issues.

Talking won't solve your problems, it can be a temporary relief if there was something you needed to get off your chest, but when time passes there's only so much talking can do. And by willingly throwing information about yourself at people, you make yourself vulnerable and take a risk.

This is true and it is why I do not tell people anything.

 

[LittleJem]

I agree 100 per cent. Saying "talk" is a sticking plaster. The truth is, therapy does not help everyone. Meds do not help everyone. What we should talk about more is the legitimate choice that grown adults should have for painless Euthanasia, and why we can treat our pets with more kindness than we treat humans.

If my dog was suffering every day, I would have her put down out of kindness. Yet, I cannot make the same decision in public about myself and let others have the chance to say goodbye to me, and for that to be a socially acceptable option for chronic mental illness.

I had some friends really be there for me the past year and my bf - all knowing I am suicidal. Then members of my family never call, and a friend of over 15 years dropped me for being ill. None of this makes a difference to my desire to CTB. I am going to choose to end my suffering within the next six months. I need to put a deadline on this now - I have just relapsed again and nothing works for more than two weeks.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I confess, I do regret falling for the 'its good to talk and trust someone, especially a professional' attitude that is currently doing the rounds. Yeah, it would be good if they listened and didn't judge you. It should be good. Wasn't for me though. These days I keep quiet.

 

[Anon2662]

I regret seeking help in general. I realised no one can help me and in most cases they just destroy my life even more.

Exactly this!