I want to die enough to actually try to action it, but I don't think I have the energy. Especially because I don't have access to methods that are likely to work and failing is exhausting. I wish there was at least something I could try nightly without having to set everything up in case it works. There have been so many times when I want to, but I can't move to scratch my nose or stretch much less laying everything out and actually trying. I'm just so tired. I just want to be done.
it would be nice if ctb was easier. entering the eternal peace of nothingness is the only permanent solution to suffering. it can be so difficult to figure out an effective ctb plan, tho. i'm still working on mine, but i at least know my method is sn. thankfully, i happen to have easy access to it.
what is it that is blocking you access to the methods you would prefer? perhaps someone will have insight that would help you.
what is it that is blocking you access to the methods you would prefer? perhaps someone will have insight that would help you.
I live at home with my family so I'm kinda paranoid about ordering anything online. Especially with the potential for police showing up so sn is out.
I have a ratchet strap, but no private access to anything that would support my weight for hanging or partial hanging. I've been trying the night night method without any luck.
I also have everything I need to do chloramine (which was my plan before I found this site), but from what I read it's not super reliable. Because it's toxic I would do that in my car at night with signs warning of toxic gas to prevent others from being unintentionally injured. Taking those precautions means it's more likely to be stopped though and when that method fails it can damage you permanently and failing something like that would mean my family might find out about the state of my mental health which I am very not okay with.
that does sound tricky. if you have a car, are you able to drive it somewhere more secluded?
I have thought about that it's just that I'm not really sure where? I'm also concerned that a random car looks more worthy of investigation in a more secluded area even if it was less likely to be spotted in the first place? I'm not sure. At this point I'm wary about that method in general now and it's a ton more work to set up, so it's more if things get even more desperate/last ditch.
yeah, that makes sense, being able to find a good secluded spot really depends on where one lives. and living with others does make things trickier. sounds like you'll just have to spend more time thinking on what would work best. :/
theboy
Illuminated
- Jul 15, 2022
- 3,006
Yes, doing CTB is not easy. In fact, I have even made notes or written about all the factors or variables in "what if". Sometimes it is necessary to travel to another place to end everythin ¿What methods have you thought of?
Zegers
Enlightened
- Dec 15, 2021
- 1,761
I think about this a lot but i still don't have a method and it gives me crippling anxiety. I'm hoping that getting out of this house for a bit to go on holiday will help me calm down a bit and be able to think about other things but every day is just so empty.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,160
I understand how you feel. Dying should not be so difficult and a peaceful exit from this life should be a human right. We have already suffered so much in life so we should not have to suffer in finding ways to exit. I am also very tired and I just want to be gone but I am trapped in this life because of the limited access to methods and the fear of failure. It is so wrong how the society tries to make suicide as hard as possible for us. Death will come for us one day eventually so if someone wants to leave then their choice should be respected.
neverbeenbetter
Member
- Jul 16, 2022
- 39
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