I hate myself and I don't know what to do

[love_peep]

I hate myself and don't know what to do. I'm so fucked up that I'm such a whiner. That I can't get my ass up and do anything with my life. Lately, due to my depression I became so selfish I didn't care at all. I try to help people and be kind I never want to hurt anyone but most of all I don't hate myself because as a child I was such a fucker and I can't forgive myself for this, although in fact, if you remember my childhood, I didn't really do anything bad, and if I did, it was only because I was a very small child. To be honest, I don't even know why I started cutting myself and hating myself so much, to be honest, if I had a gun right now, I would shoot myself without thinking not a second before the shot, because I deserve it. I drink antidepressants and they don't help me in any way, the only place that has become native for me 24/7 is this forum. Here I feel at home and I like it. Thanks everyone for the help and support and I know that my brain just broke and in fact I don't hate myself just like that but I'm so tired of this fucking life that I don't even know if I'll live another couple of days. In any case, during the 3 weeks while I was on this forum, I met a lot of good people and just people who are well versed in the topic, special thanks to them. I hope that I will soon leave this overestimated world and retire. Thanks again to everyone who helps here at least somehow to someone on this forum, don't be selfish like me. And I also want to apologize and say that at night, because of my depression, I feel very bad, so please do not judge strictly.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Hello @love_peep,

Thanks for sharing

Lately, due to my depression I became so selfish I didn't care at all.

I'm so sorry, but I think was in similar position to you. I was also a depressed kid who whines a lot, and wanted to CTB every day.
Have you ever told you are selfish? Even if so, you don't necessarily "selfish" because everyone has to prioritize themselves under hostile environment.

I drink antidepressants and they don't help me in any way, the only place that has become native for me 24/7 is this forum. Here I feel at home and I like it. Thanks everyone for the help and support and I know that my brain just broke and in fact I don't hate myself just like that but I'm so tired of this fucking life that I don't even know if I'll live another couple of days.

I'm glad to hear you feel you belong to this forum.
If you find talking helps, please speak about anything. There is a lot of tireless listeners in this forum, and my PM is always open

Whatever you choose, I wish you the best

 

[love_peep]

Hello @love_peep,

Thanks for sharing

I'm so sorry, but I think was in similar position to you. I was also a depressed kid who whines a lot, and wanted to CTB every day.
Have you ever told you are selfish? Even if so, you don't necessarily "selfish" because everyone has to prioritize themselves under hostile environment.


I'm glad to hear you feel you belong to this forum.
If you find talking helps, please speak about anything. There is a lot of tireless listeners in this forum, and my PM is always open

Whatever you choose, I wish you the best

Thanks

Hello @love_peep,

Thanks for sharing

I'm so sorry, but I think was in similar position to you. I was also a depressed kid who whines a lot, and wanted to CTB every day.
Have you ever told you are selfish? Even if so, you don't necessarily "selfish" because everyone has to prioritize themselves under hostile environment.


I'm glad to hear you feel you belong to this forum.
If you find talking helps, please speak about anything. There is a lot of tireless listeners in this forum, and my PM is always open

Whatever you choose, I wish you the best

Yes, I don't know what to do, I plan my ctb every day, it seems to me that my brain is broken and today I dreamed about how I shot myself, it was wonderful

 

[Huntfish34]

I hear ya on that, I'm sorry.. it's So down right Insane.. I have hated myself for so many years I don't know Much different, Sooo fckn toxic. Hard to formulate words to make actual Sense.

Yep, it's my current (only)method which is extremely reliable and relieving, hunted and used guns a majority of my life.

I wish you Nothing but the best, Godspeed. ♥

 

[love_peep]

I hear ya on that, I'm sorry.. it's So down right Insane.. I have hated myself for so many years I don't know Much different, Sooo fckn toxic. Hard to formulate words to make actual Sense.

I wish you Nothing but the best, Godspeed. ♥

And you too , thanks for that kind words

 

[cami]

im sorry. sending love your way <3

 

[love_peep]

im sorry. sending love your way <3

 

[oh_no191]

I'm sorry you feel this way. I know the sucky feeling. I hope one day you find peace within yourself and all this hatred goes away <3

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing here certainly is so dreadful and of course it's really understandable wishing to be free from the torture that is existence as I get that it's tiring feeling trapped here. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you wish for.

 

[love_peep]

Existing here certainly is so dreadful and of course it's really understandable wishing to be free from the torture that is existence as I get that it's tiring feeling trapped here. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you wish for.

thanks for you support i also hope that you find your freedom