Venting I hate my mother for ruining my life/Debilitating body

[lwlaiet8887]

Just venting but I seriously despise my mother, not because she's a bad person but because she decided to have children with my father without thinking about the consequences. My father had this extremely long limbed body type with no body fat at 6.2 tall, it was so bad that he had to wear multiple layers of clothing just so It'd fit. Her side of the family is a bit shorter than average but very stocky. I turn out with my father's exact body type at 5,7. I look fucking awful and this alone has ruined my life, I look like some kind of deranged drug addict or someone from a secluded fucking tribe. I can't wear clothes properly, people get creeped out by my appearance, I'm physically weak, I'm cold all the time, I have the body of someone much taller on a smaller frame. I really enjoy being unlovable and having so many physical difficulties in life. The worst thing is medical professional will do nothing to help me except gaslight me with "therapy" "CBT" "self acceptance" and other bullshit. I even spoke to a doctor the other day and she was shocked by how little I weighed at one point in my life. If they really cared they'd do something for me. I think my only salvation is to get limb lengthening surgery which is going to take me many years to afford or to blast HGH and gain as much weight as possible. I just want to be able to function like a normal person and not be treated like some kind of fucking exotic animal all because two cunts decided to have children. I lost all the muscle mass I had on my frame recently due to depression and now my body aches at the smallest of things. I hate working out because I'm so limited in the progress I can make but if I don't my body goes to absolute shit and nothing fits me. I feel like I'm seriously cursed to have a life like this and it's driving me mad. It's so bad that I don't like taking a shower anymore because I don't like having to see myself in the mirror or having to deal with the intense cold on my skin. I'm not bad looking either, I have a very deep voice that women seem to like and I'm decently handsome, it's just that whenever they see my body they get disappointed. I'd like to have some kind of companionship it's just next to impossible when you look this bodily ugly and are so insecure in yourself because of it. I have lost motivation for everything in life because I either can't physically do it or it isn't worth the effort. But yes I hate her, she's not a bad person at all but that doesn't stop me from deeply despising her, what she's done to me has my life 10x more difficult than it needed to be. If there's nothing that can be done to better my situation I'm going to become violently lazy because I'm tired of trying to swim upstream. I was extremely healthy my whole life also, I was a big baby too. But as I went through puberty my body just got progressively lankier, I actually used to be able to fit into clothes normally and didn't look so jarring.


People in real life try routinely mock me me for being so miserable, but I doubt the majority of people can relate how much it sucks to be a genetic failure of this level.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really horrible how many other people are just so insensitive towards those who are suffering, I understand why you'd feel so tired of it all, I find it cruel how people procreate in this existence where there is no limit as to how much people can suffer.

 

[StrawberryBlood]

No offense, but this is a strange reason to hate your mother. And why only your mother, why is your father not included? Many people in life have had to suffer through abusive parents who destroyed what little hope of happiness their children had.

It's your life and you can be mad about what you want. But you even said that women find you attractive. You don't even sound like you're ugly based on your description. You just sound tall and lanky, which lots of women really like. If you're that worried about relationships I also don't understand because unattractive people get into romantic relationships all the time.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

No offense, but this is a strange reason to hate your mother. And why only your mother, why is your father not included? Many people in life have had to suffer through abusive parents who destroyed what little hope of happiness their children had.

It's your life and you can be mad about what you want. But you even said that women find you attractive. You don't even sound like you're ugly based on your description. You just sound tall and lanky, which lots of women really like. If you're that worried about relationships I also don't understand because unattractive people get into romantic relationships all the time.

I'm not tall I'm only 5'7 I don't care about relationships that much but moreso that my body is physically debilitating. My mother choose to have kid's with him when he was a bum. I don't want to talk about my family situation on here just know that my mother has made multiple terrible decisions when it comes to having romantic relationships and children. You don't seem to understand how bad it is and the majority of people won't. MY DAD IS EXTREMLY SKINNY, he has narrow hips and extremely long limbs and thin bones (even his hands were small which I have) and next to no body fat and I have that exact same body type on my smaller frame. It fucking sucks and makes my life a living hell. Nothing fits me, people treat like dog shit because of my appearance, I live in a cold climate so I'm freezing all the time, I'm physically weak and pretty much have the body of an old man. the only thing I enjoy in life is physical sports and I can never excel at them, I wanted to serve in the military but I physically can't due to my body. My QOL of is overall garbage because of it. I hate my mother for having children with such a man and such a man with a horrible body type for me to inherit and have to deal with. Most people on here won't understand because they don't have the same kind of body I do nor do they have the same ambitions as I do in life. But yes I hate my mother for her negligence and lack of foresight. Imagine going your whole life and not being able to wear clothes comfortably, would you enjoy that? My mothers side of the family are shorter than average but very stocky hence I'm shorter than average. I just wish she would've had kid's with a similar guy so I wouldn't have to deal with this horrible body. It sucks your whole life to feel out of place and having to deal with all of the difficulties of having an extremely skinny frame. And Like I said, I do have some success with women but I'm not comfortable getting intimate because 1: I hate my body 2: I've mostly gotten attention out of pity in the past or they seemed very coy. Everything is just overly difficult when you have a body like this so instead of being productive I'd rather just LDAR. The only solution for me to have a normal body is limb lengthening surgery which I'll probably never be able to afford and doctors don't give a shit because it doesn't effect them personally.

Also, I don't think physical abuse being worse invalidates someone from being mad at their parents for having them under bad circumstances. I never elaborated on why I didn't like my own mother further but I didn't see a reason to. I know most people don't think "If we have children I wonder how they're going to turn out" but I wish they did because sometimes the consequences really fucking suck.

 

[StrawberryBlood]

I'm not tall I'm only 5'7 I don't care about relationships that much but moreso that my body is physically debilitating. My mother choose to have kid's with him when he was a bum. I don't want to talk about my family situation on here just know that my mother has made multiple terrible decisions when it comes to having romantic relationships and children. You don't seem to understand how bad it is and the majority of people won't. MY DAD IS EXTREMLY SKINNY, he has narrow hips and extremely long limbs and thin bones (even his hands were small which I have) and next to no body fat and I have that exact same body type on my smaller frame. It fucking sucks and makes my life a living hell. Nothing fits me, people treat like dog shit because of my appearance, I live in a cold climate so I'm freezing all the time, I'm physically weak and pretty much have the body of an old man. the only thing I enjoy in life is physical sports and I can never excel at them, I wanted to serve in the military but I physically can't due to my body. My QOL of is overall garbage because of it. I hate my mother for having children with such a man and such a man with a horrible body type for me to inherit and have to deal with. Most people on here won't understand because they don't have the same kind of body I do nor do they have the same ambitions as I do in life. But yes I hate my mother for her negligence and lack of foresight. Imagine going your whole life and not being able to wear clothes comfortably, would you enjoy that? My mothers side of the family are shorter than average but very stocky hence I'm shorter than average. I just wish she would've had kid's with a similar guy so I wouldn't have to deal with this horrible body. It sucks your whole life to feel out of place and having to deal with all of the difficulties of having an extremely skinny frame. And Like I said, I do have some success with women but I'm not comfortable getting intimate because 1: I hate my body 2: I've mostly gotten attention out of pity in the past or they seemed very coy. Everything is just overly difficult when you have a body like this so instead of being productive I'd rather just LDAR. The only solution for me to have a normal body is limb lengthening surgery which I'll probably never be able to afford and doctors don't give a shit because it doesn't effect them personally.

5'7 isn't even short though, it's average. You sound like you've gotten very in your head about this. I really can't imagine you look that bad. It sounds like you have body dysmorphia.
Your entire quality of life suffers because you're skinny? I don't understand. Also, cosmetic surgeries rarely help confidence. Lots of people end up chasing perfection and then become addicted to it.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

5'7 isn't even short though, it's average. You sound like you've gotten very in your head about this. I really can't imagine you look that bad. It sounds like you have body dysmorphia.
Your entire quality of life suffers because you're skinny? I don't understand. Also, cosmetic surgeries rarely help confidence. Lots of people end up chasing perfection and then become addicted to it.

It's not average, and there's a difference between being 5'7 with a normal frame and 5'7 with an extremely skinny/narrow frame. Average in my country is 5'10 and where my father is from they're much taller, my mother herself is 5,5. (I just got extemely unlucky in the genetics department) Please don't try invalidate my problems because you haven't lived a day in my shoes. I'm not just SKINNY I'm extremely skinny and I've already explained to you why it makes my life awful. If you've never lived it how do you think you can relate? I live in a cold climate so I'm freezing all of the time, Nothing fits me and I'm not even kidding about that, I can't gain weight or significant muscle due to my frame and I basically have the body of an old man, I've always wanted to be a military man but I can't due to my body, and I can't excel at sports either due to my body. And trust me I've spent years training and it was not worth the effort (over 5 years). If you don' know what LL is then you'll know it's not cosmetic, It's pretty much a procedure that permanently lengthens your bones in a natural way, I only want 3 inches of height so I can be more proportionate. The only thing my experience in life has taught me is that some people shouldn't have children with eachother because the outcome is not always good. I also don't know a single person as skinny as me for reference. I'm genuinely envious of anyone with a normal bodyframe because having one like this makes like suck. If you don't believe me, I spoke to a doctor the other day and she was shocked at how little I weighed at one point, that wasn't due to undereating but my overall thin bones and lack of bodymass. Maybe I don't "hate" my mother, but I'd certainly advice certain people not to have kid's with eachother because the outcome can be horrible.

 

[StrawberryBlood]

It's not average, and there's a difference between being 5'7 with a normal frame and 5'7 with an extremely skinny/narrow frame. Average in my country is 5'10 and where my father is from they're much taller, my mother herself is 5,5. (I just got extemely unlucky in the genetics department) Please don't try invalidate my problems because you haven't lived a day in my shoes. I'm not just SKINNY I'm extremely skinny and I've already explained to you why it makes my life awful. If you've never lived it how do you think you can relate? I live in a cold climate so I'm freezing all of the time, Nothing fits me and I'm not even kidding about that, I can't gain weight or significant muscle due to my frame, I've always wanted to be a military man but I can't due to my body, and I can't excel at sports either due to my body. And trust me I've spent years training and it was not worth the effort. If you don' know what LL is then you'll know it's not cosmetic, It's pretty much a procedure that permanently lengthens your bones in a natural way, I only want 3 inches of height so I can be more proportionate. The only thing my experience in life has taught me is that some people shouldn't have children with eachother because the outcome is not always good. I also don't know a single person as skinny as me for reference. I'm genuinely envious of anyone with a normal bodyframe because having one like this makes like suck. If you don't believe me, I spoke to a doctor the other day and she was shocked at how little I weighed at one point, that wasn't due to undereating but my overall thin bones and lack of bodymass.

I don't think I'm going to change your mind on this. This just feels petty to me, especially as a reason to hate your mother. Again, many people have abusive parents, so I find it hard to gather sympathy for your situation. Not sure what else to say. I'm sorry.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

I don't think I'm going to change your mind on this. This just feels petty to me, especially as a reason to hate your mother. Again, many people have abusive parents, so I find it hard to gather sympathy for your situation. Not sure what else to say. I'm sorry.

You're just ignorant. You don't know remotely what I look like so how can you judge me over the internet? I already explained you to all my difficulties but you're just not listening. I don't think it's wrong to hate someone especially if you feel that way. And like I said, I hate my mother for more than the reason of having children with my father but I don't want to get into that. I just know for matter of fact most of you don't have a body that's debilitating as mine. I'm the guy people look at and go "HOLY SHIT YOU'RE SKINNY" "You need to eat more etc"
ALSO, MOST OF YOU PEOPLE CAN'T TELL THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING 5'7 WITH A NORMAL FRAME AND 5'7 WITH AN EXTREMLY LANKY FRAME. I WOULDN'T CARE IF I HAD A NORMAL FRAME BUT I HAVE A VERY LANKY BODY. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HEIGHT I JUST DON'T HAVE A PROPORTIONAL BODY. PLEASE LEARN TO READ.


Also, what does it matter if someone has abusive parents or not? I don't see how that invalidates my problems at all. And to reiterate you don't know me, you don't know what I look like, you haven't lived in my shoes so you don't remotely know my experience. Maybe "hate" is a strong word but I very do much feel that way.

 

[Blue Elephant]

@lwlaiet8887 Right, hate your mother (you might or might not get over it in time depending on different things) but like @StrawberryBlood implied your father also helped a little bit when you were born. : ) I used to hate my mum as well but really, she didn't give birth to me with evil intent and she always did and is doing her very best to care for me and my brother so I'm ok with her now. She's a good person. My dad though, he's a f**king tool! He gave birth to us as a kind of inssurance so there is someone who would take care of him at the end and did pretty much nothing for us our whole lives. You can imagine how much I will help that prick IF I live that long.

Your body type though.. I get it. I'm on the skinny side as well, though probably not as extreme. Now I see that you don't like sports but really, if you do it right it does work to a certain degree. I would say that you CAN change your normal weight (and even the height a little bit) to a different one and you can condition your body to stay there. And it's not that expensive. I'm poor so I have to be smart about nutrition but you can eat cheap-to-average priced food and you can use the right supplements to make this change.

It's not easy but it's not incredibly difficult either. It would take.. some months.

But it can be done if you decide to at some point.

If at any time you need to know specifics I can share.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

@lwlaiet8887 Right, hate your mother (you might or might not get over it in time depending on different things) but like @StrawberryBlood implied your father also helped a little bit when you were born. : ) I used to hate my mum as well but really, she didn't give birth to me with evil intent and she always did and is doing her very best to care for me and my brother so I'm ok with her now. She's a good person. My dad though, he's a f**king tool! He gave birth to us as a kind of inssurance so there is someone who would take care of him at the end and did pretty much nothing for us our whole lives. You can imagine how much I will help that prick IF I live that long.

Your body type though.. I get it. I'm on the skinny side as well, though probably not as extreme. Now I see that you don't like sports but really, if you do it right it does work to a certain degree. I would say that you CAN change your normal weight (and even the height a little bit) to a different one and you can condition your body to stay there. And it's not that expensive. I'm poor so I have to be smart about nutrition but you can eat cheap-to-average priced food and you can use the right supplements to make this change.

It's not easy but it's not incredibly difficult either. It would take.. some months.

But it can be done if you decide to at some point.

If at any time you need to know specifics I can share.

Thanks, I don't have any problem with gaining weight. I already had made significant gains in the gym but pretty much lost them all recently and I don't intend to ever again there's just no point. My life is just like one massive disappointment honestly and I know the majority of people on here can't relate to my overly specific scenario. I'm just done with having a "productive" life in anyway because I don't gain anything out of it. I used to be a very ambitious hardworker but knowing what I want in life is unachievable has made made me completely disinterested. People might say it's unreasonable to hate your parents over such a thing but I don't remotely think so. Bring a child into this world without their consent but at the same time give them a terrible unfunctional body that makes their life miserable. I think that's more than enough reason to warrant hate. I love not being able to wear clothes comfortably and I'm not exaggerating, I love being treated like some kind of tribal/exotic animal because of my appearance, I love being looked down on by others, I love being physically weak and cold all the time.

 

[Blue Elephant]

I'm just done with having a "productive" life in anyway because I don't gain anything out of it. I used to be a very ambitious hardworker but knowing what I want in life is unachievable has made made me completely disinterested.

This I completely understand. I'm kind of like this as well right now. I'm just riding on whatever I achieved in the past.

I love not being able to wear clothes comfortably and I'm not exaggerating, I love being treated like some kind of tribal/exotic animal because of my appearance, I love being looked down on by others, I love being physically weak and cold all the time.

Out of the ordinary. A bit like a hip-hop star. : )

 

[lwlaiet8887]

This I completely understand. I'm kind of like this as well right now. I'm just riding on whatever I achieved in the past.


Out of the ordinary. A bit like a hip-hop star. : )

I wish it just sucks. Still trying to gain weight-any who. Would rather be fat then like this. I'm just thinking of gaining as much as weight and muscle as I can. At least that way I can be physically comofortable.

 

[Blue Elephant]

I also think it's easier if you're fat, it's so much easier to burn and lose weight then build build build and then lose it for whatever reason. I went through this so many times. : /

 

[Kundalini Guy]

I hate my mother too, she had Schizophrenia when she gave birth to me and not suprising enough I got it too. Some parents are just idiotic for having children while suffering.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

I hate my mother too, she had Schizophrenia when she gave birth to me and not suprising enough I got it too. Some parents are just idiotic for having children while suffering.

That sucks to hear. I guess my reasons are a lot different and if I babbled on why people would start calling me a eugenicist. I just feel like my parents genetics didn't really mix well and as a result of that I have to deal with this crappy body and I hate feeling out of my place in my own country & within my own family. Would kill to just to be normal.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

My mother gave me shit genetics too, lots of mental illness and even shorter than you. Of course it's her abusive behavior that is the reason for my hatred of her.

 

[Blue Elephant]

she had Schizophrenia when she gave birth to me and not suprising enough I got it too

: ( How does it manifest? Do you see patterns in the world, do you see things that are not there (symbols, images..), do you hear sounds?

I'm sorry, I'm just curious. Please ignore me if you don't want to talk about it.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

My mother gave me shit genetics too, lots of mental illness and even shorter than you. Of course it's her abusive behavior that is the reason for my hatred of her.

That really sucks to hear. Some of the people are on here are shockingly brain dead I must say. Genetics can really make or break you life and they're just not willing to acknowledge it. Now if I want to normal and not lookvlike an emaciated manchild I'm going to have spend thousands on surgery just to be comfortable in my own body.

 

[olearius]

I'm not gonna respond to any of the problematic things in this thread.

BUT has your family been tested for Marfan's or any other connective tissue disorder with Marfanoid habitus as a clinical feature? If not, definitely look into it - as it could help you seek treatment for the very very treatable issues you've mentioned (weight, weakness, etc).

You'll have to fix how you feel about your body though after. I wish you comfort and acceptance in your own body.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

I'm not gonna respond to any of the problematic things in this thread.

BUT has your family been tested for Marfan's or any other connective tissue disorder with Marfanoid habitus as a clinical feature? If not, definitely look into it - as it could help you seek treatment for the very very treatable issues you've mentioned (weight, weakness, etc).

You'll have to fix how you feel about your body though after. I wish you comfort and acceptance in your own body.

I thought thought he may have marfans. It's weird because his brother is really short (he's about 5'5) he's the complete opposite. I have a cousin from my dad's brother and his body is normal. Although where my father comes height varies A LOT, he's from west Africa if that helps. (most of the men on my dad's side are either really tall or short) There's some really short people whilst others are ridiculously tall. I don't think there's much I can do it about really except gain significant weight and possibly try HGH it may be able to give me thicker bone density. I'm unsure about marfans though because some of his peers look similar in body composition. I myself am super flexible and I used to be double jointed as well which I know can have some correlation. My body is very narrow from my hips to my neck and the joints in my arms are very flexible/loose same with my legs. I have been gaining weight recently and the healthiest I can be BMI wise is a 11 and half stone + the muscle I can fit on my frame.