I hate my life enough to CTB...

[Sleeper System]

I keep trying to convince myself that everything is ok with me.
I'm so lonely and lost in this world that Its hard to even admit it to myself.
None of this matters. This struggle to navigate and survive in these modern
times feels so hollow and unfullfilling. I don't want to live like this anymore. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I am a weak and worthless male that should have been aborted.
I am not strong and fearless or admirable.
There is no place for me here. Never was.

No women or man or society needed to tell me this. I saw it in myself.
I see it in myself. The lack or desire to do anything but be a waste of space.

No one will feel sorry for you. No one should. You should just be able to give up and die in peace. The lack of freedom to do so respectably is the worst kind of feeling. To be depressed and cowardly and powerless to top it off.

I don't know what to do anymore. This is the kind of person I am.
I can't keep going on like this. I think I'm one bad day away from ending it.
I talk about suicide a lot and today it feels more real than ever.

 

[takemenowpls]

"One bad day from ending it" these words echo through my mind all day and night. So my friend you are not alone. Right now I'm like you, lonely along with several other things. Right now I'm enjoying the simple things in life like my bed and my dogs until
They are finally taken from me soon. Perhaps that will give me the courage to CTB. Just know your feelings are valid and so are you.

 

[theboy]

You're not alone. If you need to talk to someone, I'm here. Here in the forum there are also many people who have the same problem as you. I hope you find peace

 

[Sleeper System]

"One bad day from ending it" these words echo through my mind all day and night. So my friend you are not alone. Right now I'm like you, lonely along with several other things. Right now I'm enjoying the simple things in life like my bed and my dogs until
They are finally taken from me soon. Perhaps that will give me the courage to CTB. Just know your feelings are valid and so are you.

I've been doing the same thing. Trying to trick my brain into not thinking about how bad I feel and how much I hate waking up every day. I go months living in my delusion and the world never fails to introduce a new obstacle and bring me to such desperation that I come on here and spill my heart out while I lay in bed in tears yelling at the top of my lungs into my pillow. Sometimes I feel so sad that not only do I want to end it but I want to take the world with me. You know how lost you have to be to start thinking like that? Not literally. But if there was a button to be pressed I think I would.

You're not alone. If you need to talk to someone, I'm here. Here in the forum there are also many people who have the same problem as you. I hope you find peace

When you've felt this way as long as I have, you realize that words no longer have the power to change anything in your life. You've heard all the advice and you know all the options. You just remain here. Miserable and seeking some sort of validation that ultimately does nothing but provide another small distraction. The more you consume a drug the less effect it has as time goes on. Appreciate your time though so thanks for that.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life does just seem to be endless problems and suffering. It does sound so nice to fall asleep and never wake again, that is certainly the ideal way to die. To me existing really is so tiring and depressing and it should be easier to leave this life behind. I know that it's dreadful being trapped in a life that you hate. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through, best wishes.