I HATE MY LIFE AND THE PEOPLE AROUND ME

[StarryStarry]

Okay, I know I'm complaining again. I feel as if I'm losing my fucking mind. I take one step forward and 10 steps back. Just wish I could close my eyes and sleep forever. Not afraid to die - afraid I'll fail and have to deal with all the bullshit that comes with that.

Okay, so when I moved from SC I talked to the manager of the apartment and we set up a deal where I would pay $100 a month until it was paid. No problem. I've already paid $200 (I paid for the month of March and left on March 3rd for new place). Anyway, I get a letter in the mail from a collection agency. The BITCH sent me to collections even though I've been paying the way she told me to pay. So, FUCK her and that apartment and the collection agency. Done paying. I asked her why she did this and she said I didn't pay for 30 days (LIE LIE LIE) I have proof I did pay. Then, when I moved into the dump I live in, I ordered internet service. Couldn't set up the machine so I called them let them know they sent me a text stating it was cancelled and I sent the box back in a timely fashion. They sent me a bill for $84 for internet service.

I just want to know does all this shit happen to anybody else? One thing after another. I took like 20 xanax on Saturday afternoon. Needed to shut my brain down my anxiety was off the chart. Well, I slept until Monday morning and could have still slept. Sweet Pea woke me up because she was out of food. I so wish it had taken me out. I wouldn't have to worry about all this stupid ship. Thanks for listening. SOme day (the day I die) I won't have any worries about anything. Looking sooooo forward to that day.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I'm sorry bad things continue to pile on you, it sounds awful and exhausting. People can be very cruel, I'm sorry you've encountered so many like that.

I've had bad things happen to me but I don't think in the same manner as you've had to deal with, my memory is too awful to truly recall. For me, my mind is the issue and what makes living truly unbearable.

I hope you and Sweet Pea can find peace.

 

[Darkover]

yeah earth such a shit place to be alive

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Was your deal with the landlord in writing? If not, it's as if the deal doesn't exist. you know, he said, she said. And yes, bad shit happens to just about everyone, some just more than others, or so it seems. If you are in the right and have proof, what do you have to worry about this?

 

[StarryStarry]

Was your deal with the landlord in writing? If not, it's as if the deal doesn't exist. you know, he said, she said. And yes, bad shit happens to just about everyone, some just more than others, or so it seems. If you are in the right and have proof, what do you have to worry about this?

It wasn't in writing. It was from someone I trusted. So, just fuck me.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It wasn't in writing. It was from someone I trusted. So, just fuck me.

That can be a problem.

 

[anxious_depressive]

Dear Starry .

I am so sorry that the dark streak in your life does not end in any way.

Yes, shitty things happen too often.
Life is definitely a nasty thing.

I understand your feelings.
I also think every day about how good it would be to fall asleep and not wake up.

I'm sending you a big hug

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really stressful and frustrating what you are going through, I'm sorry that you are suffering, it really is horrible when things just keep on going wrong. I also wish that I could fall into an eternal sleep and be free from this existence. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Vault of Memories]

You've got good taste in paintings.

 

[StarryStarry]

You've got good taste in paintings.

My as do you. Great minds think alike.

 

[Weebster]

I hope the sky will turn black and the earth will shake when I die

 

[StarryStarry]

I hope the sky will turn black and the earth will shake when I die

you won't know because you'll finally have peace and this world and the people in it can go fuck themselves

 

[Weebster]

you won't know because you'll finally have peace and this world and the people in it can go fuck themselves

Yay!!!!

 

[StarryStarry]

Yay!!!!

something to look forward to

 

[Weebster]

something to look forward to

I was under anesthesia recently and there was no darkness or anything. That's death?

 

[Hollowman]

I was under anesthesia recently and there was no darkness or anything. That's death?

More than likely

 

[StarryStarry]

I was under anesthesia recently and there was no darkness or anything. That's death?

I believe so. On Saturday,early afternoon, I had enough. I took like 20 xanax. I fell asleep until this morning. I felt nothing, thought nothing, worried about nothing. it was wonderful. The only thing I didn't like is that it didn't kill me. But it was a reprieve. Just to be out of this world and feel nothing anymore is all I want.

 

[downndone2]

I am sorry this all happened to you. Doesnt sound like theres anything you can do with the rent. Maybe try and call credit bureau and fight it.

On the internet thing, was it for install fee? Try calling the company to tell them their service was shitty, etc and see if you can get it refunded

I'd give anything to have a shit ton of xanax, ativan, or valium right now to let me just sleep for several days and not have to deal with life

Glad to see you and Sweet Pea made it to your destination safely.