Venting I hate my existence.

[deadbody]

I practically didn't have the strength to get out of bed today. I skipped lectures and went for a walk in the park. I caught myself thinking that I didn't want to return home for as long as possible. What's the point if no one is waiting for me there? Unfortunately, the feeling of dysphoria only gets stronger and not goes away. Received further insults from my mother for not apologizing for my haircut. She believes that I should always report to her. At the same time, she never apologized to me; I always apologized.
I thought about just buying myself sleeping pills and OD, although this may not be the best way, I understand that perfectly. I wish for a better future, but every day the chances of living to see it are less and less.

 

[amb.boardman]

Most sleeping pills you cannot do that with, it would just make you sick. It might be a good idea to try and remove yourself from that envoroment

 

[chinadoll]

I practically didn't have the strength to get out of bed today. I skipped lectures and went for a walk in the park. I caught myself thinking that I didn't want to return home for as long as possible. What's the point if no one is waiting for me there? Unfortunately, the feeling of dysphoria only gets stronger and not goes away. Received further insults from my mother for not apologizing for my haircut. She believes that I should always report to her. At the same time, she never apologized to me; I always apologized.
I thought about just buying myself sleeping pills and OD, although this may not be the best way, I understand that perfectly. I wish for a better future, but every day the chances of living to see it are less and less.

I understand how difficult this can be. Still, getting outside, walking, doing anything like that in such a time is commendable.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that it's dreadful being stuck in an existence you hate, sadly I don't really think that sleeping pills is a reliable suicide method, it's cruel how we cannot just have the option to die in peace when we wish to.