I hate my brain

[ggetout33]

About 75% of my problems would be solved had my brain actually cared 100% about staying healthy, effectively managing my time, knowing social cues and charisma, going out and doing stuff, actualizing what potential I may have in art (since that's fun) and other areas of my life. I would be so much better as a person. But no, all it cares about is dopamine and the easiest, fastest way to get it. Not caring that actualizing this potential would reap more reward in the long run.

I feel very powerless, and enslaved to my biology and genes. No medication has helped me reign control and become more than my useless genes and impulses. CTB is the only way for me, I wanna fucking die.

 

[cami]

i feel you my love. if i was just normal, life might have gone better for me.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

About 75% of my problems would be solved had my brain actually cared 100% about staying healthy, effectively managing my time, knowing social cues and charisma, going out and doing stuff, actualizing what potential I may have in art (since that's fun) and other areas of my life. I would be so much better as a person. But no, all it cares about is dopamine and the easiest, fastest way to get it. Not caring that actualizing this potential would reap more reward in the long run.

I feel very powerless, and enslaved to my biology and genes. No medication has helped me reign control and become more than my useless genes and impulses. CTB is the only way for me, I wanna fucking die.

Hello @ggetout33,
I'm so sorry to hear that.
From this purgatory, may you'll be set free.
I pray for you, no matter what

You said you feel helpless,
But you have fun making a piece of art.
May you able to express what's in your heart,
Even when you are totally hopeless.

It's so unfair, the fate rolls the dice,
And you pay the price.
So please know that you have choice,
And we listen to your voice.

Sorry, I'm really at my wits' end, because I agree with you, your situation seems to be hopeless to me.
I'm also addicted to instant gratification and have no willpower whatsoever, so I feel I'm destined to CTB.

What types of art do you enjoy making?

 

[nopeaceofmind]

Same here, I let a LOT of self hate and addiction prevent me from pursuing things that would've made me happy in the long run.

 

[ggetout33]

i feel you my love. if i was just normal, life might have gone better for me.

Thanks love

 

[lostlap]

Sadly relatable. I wonder what life would have been like if my brain had been just a bit kinder to me.

 

[MrDarkness]

About 75% of my problems would be solved had my brain actually cared 100% about staying healthy, effectively managing my time, knowing social cues and charisma, going out and doing stuff, actualizing what potential I may have in art (since that's fun) and other areas of my life. I would be so much better as a person. But no, all it cares about is dopamine and the easiest, fastest way to get it. Not caring that actualizing this potential would reap more reward in the long run.

I feel very powerless, and enslaved to my biology and genes. No medication has helped me reign control and become more than my useless genes and impulses. CTB is the only way for me, I wanna fucking die.

I feel the same, my mom has bipolar and my dad has severe anger issues, I'm cursed with being like this, I probably have bpd, and I def severe anxiety, I wish I wasn't born with these curses

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing here certainly is so torturous, it's such a horrible world we exist in where people suffer all through no fault of their own and it's understandable just wishing for permanent freedom, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for from all the suffering.