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Henrietta789
Member
- Nov 8, 2020
- 7
I hate my brain. I hate my broken brain with its personality disorder that makes it impossible for me to enjoy anything or have any kind of lasting relationship with another human being. And it feels like my brain hates ME. No matter what happens, how well I do something or how nice someone is to me, my brain will always scream into my head that it's my fault, I'm not good enough, and that person who seems so nice really hates me, and that I totally deserve it. I see other people go through life able to let all the world's little digs roll right off their back, and it just makes me wonder what that must feel like...to be able to live and not have EVERY SINGLE THING that happens cause you anxiety and pain.
I wish someone could fix my brain, but I know they can't. I feel angry at my body for being born broken like it is. Does anyone else feel this way? That's why I want to CTB; I just want to hurt and end this stupid broken brain that I hate as much as it hates me.
I've gone through better and worse times, but the longer time goes on the less better times there are. For the sake of family members who rely on me for care, I'm trying to hold on...but I'm just getting so tired of trying.
I wish someone could fix my brain, but I know they can't. I feel angry at my body for being born broken like it is. Does anyone else feel this way? That's why I want to CTB; I just want to hurt and end this stupid broken brain that I hate as much as it hates me.
I've gone through better and worse times, but the longer time goes on the less better times there are. For the sake of family members who rely on me for care, I'm trying to hold on...but I'm just getting so tired of trying.